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He was too close, lingering over me. One more inch and I would have thought he was going to kiss me. “It’s fine. I want to.”
Wesley licked his lips and conceded, “Alright. As long as you’re not doing it just to be nice.”
“No, never. I have too much fun with you two. It’s getting to be a problem.”
“It is, isn’t it?”
Wesley then went off to follow Lucy. I gulped. Yes, it was getting to be a problem. I was starting to enjoy my life with the Taves — more than my actual life. Their family was just a part of my day. Taking care of Lucy was my job. That couldn’t be my whole life. It had an expiration date.
I focused on popping the popcorn.One thing at a time, Cara.Once that was all ready, I met Lucy and Wesley in the living room. Lucy was dressed in a cute little nightgown, resting in the crook of Wesley’s arm. I took the spot on her other side and without thinking, she extended her feet onto my lap. “So, what’s on tonight?”
“Raya and the Last Dragon!”
“Ah, a favorite. Okay, start it up, Lucy Goose.”
The movie started playing and Wesley dimmed the lights with just a voice command to his Alexa. We watched for a while, the only sounds being the movie and the three of us munching on popcorn.
We were very cozy on the couch, Lucy connecting the space between Wesley and me like a bridge. The longer I was there, the more I leaned toward the two of them. Before I knew it, my head was only a few inches from his. And even though I noticed it…I didn’t draw away. I indulged in this closeness. I could smell him, his cologne tinged with the scents from our dinner. My pheromones were going wild.
“She’s sleeping.”
I looked down to find Lucy’s head tilted back on Wesley’s stomach, mouth hung open, and her eyes shut. She was snoring softly.
“Man, she’s sleepingreallygood.”
Wesley chuckled softly. “I could use a sleep like that.”
The movie played on in the background, but neither of us watched. We were totally engrossed by watching Lucy sleep. Wesley stroked her hair and caressed her cheek. “I think we’re stuck here, Cara.”
I looked down at my lap where Lucy’s legs were resting and giggled. “There are worse places to be stuck.”
Our eyes met, heads resting on the back of the couch.I could be stuck here with him forever.
Neither of us looked away. Not distracted by the movie or the little girl entangling us together in our laps. The world around us ceased to exist.
It was just me and Wesley here on the couch. He was close enough I could feel his warm breath on my face.
His eyes fell to my lips. He licked his own.
I wanted nothing more than for him to kiss me. And at the same time, I knew I’d have to refuse him.
Not for lack of want or desire. There were too many voices in my head that weren’t my own, overwhelming my decision-making. Suddenly, my mom and dad were in the room with me, reminding me of Wesley’s money. Of his ability to use me up. If I already felt under his thumb due to how much capital he was promising me, I knew I’d feel completely under his spell with just one kiss.
What was to say that after my two months were up as Lucy’s nanny he would want to continue an affair? Maybe he would easily discard me as his employee and as a lover in one fell swoop. I didn’t know if my heart could handle that kind of rejection.
Wesley leaned in, his eyes hovering shut. And just when his lips were about to press against mine, I shoved my hand up against his chest and drew my head back. “We can’t.”
His eyes shot open. But he did not pull away, our faces only inches apart now. “What?”
“We…” I glanced down at Lucy. “I think we’re confused.”
Wesley frowned. I couldn’t tell if he was angry or hurt. He then drew away from me. I yearned to wrap my arms around him, hold him tight to my chest. Apologize. Take it back. Rewind the clock and try again. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me.”
“Please, don’t apologize.”
“No, I shouldn’t have —” He ran a hand through his hair and leaned back on the couch, focusing again on the movie. “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”
I couldn’t say no, but I also couldn’t say yes. His lips hovering toward mine made me the best kind of uncomfortable.
