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My beautiful distraction. The subject of my every waking thought for weeks now.
I’d become too caught up in her too fast. Consumed by her touch and the idea that she could be mine. I’d neglected everything else.
And with Lisbeth’s arrival imminent, I couldn’t afford a distraction. I needed everything to be focused on preparing Lucy and making sure nothing was amiss that would give Lisbeth any sort of ideas about our custody agreement. Though it seemed far-fetched, I was always terrified that a visit from her would come with the line “I’ve made a huge mistake” and she’d want to renegotiate.
The thing I’d always had over her was that, despite my workload, I was entirely committed to Lucy. She had been the only girl in my life since…well, since she was born.
I had to keep it that way.
Cara and I could not continue on as we had been. Not when my custody of Lucy was vulnerable. I tried to tell myself it was for the best. That based on her reaction to the bracelet, I didn’t even know how deep her feelings went.
Regardless, I knew when I got home that night, I had to break my own heart and tell Cara things between us had to end. At least for now.
I just hoped I would only be breaking one heart and not two.
Chapter21
Cara
I had practiced what I was going to say to Wesley over and over the rest of the day, whispering the words to myself like an incantation.
“Wesley, I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you, and I’d like to take our relationship further,” I whispered for the seventy-fifth time as I stirred the pot of chicken soup I had whipped up for dinner.
“What’d you say?”
I whipped around to find Lucy right at my heels. “Uh, nothing. Just talking to myself.”
Lucy eyed me. “So itisn’tnothing.”
Damn, this girl is too smart for her own good.“Well, I was just…trying to remember what spices I’d put into the soup. Salt, pepper, garlic powder. And I thought there was one more, so I was going through them out loud to see if it sparked my memory.”
Lucy laughed and turned around, back to her spot at the table where she’d been coloring in a safari-themed book. “Cara, you’re so weird.”
“Takes one to know one.”
We exchanged a grin before I turned back to stirring the soup unnecessarily.Be careful. Tender ears are always listening.
Every time I thought about backing out of my plan to tell Wesley how I felt, I remembered the bracelet on my wrist. Just a touch to the pearlescent butterfly reminded me of what I was moving toward. A possibility of a future with Wesley.
I could crash and burn.
Or I could fly. Like the little butterfly.
Only a little while later, the front door opened. My heart started pounding like a drum.Boom, boom, boom. I could feel the pulsing in my throat as I followed Lucy into the front hall to greet Wesley.
“Daddy! You’re home!”
Wesley didn’t have time to shrug off his coat before she bounded into his arms. He didn’t hesitate to wrap her tightly in an embrace. He cradled her head in his hand, closing his eyes as he held her. “Hey, Luce.”
I’d never doubted the love he had for her, but this moment was different. It was as if letting her go might wreck him. Of course, Lucy didn’t know that and squirmed out of his embrace after only a few moments. “Cara made chicken soup and bought me a new coloring book. Let me show you!” She started pulling on his hand.
“In a minute, let me take my coat off and get settled and…” He lifted his eyes to mine. Something was wrong. I could just tell. His usually sparkling brown eyes held pain in their depths. And his shoulder drooped, almost as if he was carrying a huge weight on his back. “Lucy, I want to talk to Cara for a minute. Why don’t you run along and color and I’ll be there in a minute?”
Lucy looked between us and then shrugged. “Okay. Don’t take too long.”
I forced myself to chuckle, but smiling felt wrong when something was lingering in the air that seemed to be causing Wesley distress.
Lucy scampered back into the kitchen. I’d learned all the angles and curves of this house. I knew where Wesley and I could be seen and where we could hide away. Lucky for me, the kitchen table had no clear view into the front hallway.
