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Even Cara. I cared for her so deeply, but Lucy came first.
Lucy started to wriggle, but I held tighter. “Why are you trying to get away from me?”
“Because you’re squishing me!”
I lessened the intensity of my hug but didn’t let her go. “Come on up, kiddo.” I hoisted her onto my hip. “I missed you today.”
“Daddy, you’re being mushy.”
“Mushy?”
“Yeah, you’re laying it on thick!”
I laughed. “Where’d you learn that?”
“Cara.”
My heart dropped as I finally looked across the hallway at Cara.
Something was off about her usually bright expression. Her smile was tinged with sadness. Our connection had deepened so significantly the night before, I wondered if she already saw past my cheerful guise, straight into my heart.
Maybe she already knew what was coming.
“Cara’s very mushy, Daddy.” Lucy leaned her head onto my shoulder.
I locked eyes with Cara. As if I didn’t already know. “Is she?”
Cara smiled bigger and folded her hands in front of her, like she was unsure what to do with herself. The gesture made her look so young and vulnerable.
I didn’t want to break her heart. But I knew I had to. The heart most important to me would always be Lucy’s. She was an inherent part of me that I could not lose. Cara was not expendable to me by any means, but there was a reason I had avoided dating and serious relationships over the years. I knew it would be complicated as a single father. Like the universe was telling me I could not hold these two things at once.
I could only have one love in my life. Lucy.
And knowing I had to break Cara’s heart broke mine, too.
I kissed the side of Lucy’s head and finally put her down, relishing the way her hands still gripped at my suit jacket. “Hey, honey, could you run off and —”
“I know. Cara already told me that when you came home, I’d need to go play on the iPad with my headphones on.”
I frowned, looking form Lucy to Cara. “Did she?” Jesus, maybe she really was reading my mind.
“I hope that’s okay.” Cara’s voice was nervous. Like it used to be when we were merely boss and employee.
I knew what I had to do, but I wanted at least one more moment of basking in the warmth of her love. Maybe that was a selfish thing to wish for. “Of course. Go on, Luce.”
Lucy skipped into the living room, leaving Cara and me alone.
I waited for her to speak first. After all, she had called this meeting.
“I have something to tell you.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
“Should we go sit?” She gestured into the kitchen.
“Sure, sure.”
We went into the kitchen and sat at the table. I could smell something baking in the oven. One of her many delicious dishes. God, she was so sweet. She had given Lucy and me so much. I couldn’t stand hurting her like this, especially after what we had shared the night before. But even if I remained in her life, she would likely get hurt in the process.
