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Perhaps I didn’t have medical evidence, but from the moment my stomach churned, Iknew. My body knew. It was making room for something amazing.
I wasn’t ready for a baby in the grander sense. Emotionally, though, I had always believed that a baby was the greatest representation of love. And from the way my heart broke when Wesley ended things, I knew that I loved him.
This baby would be born from love. I knew that much. That was enough justification that I was ready for it.
The nurse led us back to the examination room. From there it was a blur of questions and samples, of polite conversation and nervous laughter. Once she finished up, she left us alone again and said the doctor would be in shortly.
Katie and I sat in silence, me on the examination table, her in a chair nearby, waiting for the doctor arrive.
Then came a knock.
My mouth was dry. “Come in.”
Dr. Farina was the highest recommended OB per my insurance. She looked exactly like her picture, except much taller. Dark hair, olive skin, and easy, friendly eyes. “Cara?”
“Yep, that’s me.”
“Hi, I’m Dr. Farina. And who do you have with you today?”
“Katie. I’m Cara’s sister.”
Dr. Farina chuckled. “I can tell. Same eyes.”
Katie and I exchanged a smile.
“Well, Cara. I’m sure this won’t come as a surprise to you. But your urine sample indicates that you’re pregnant. We’ll send your blood out to the lab to confirm your hCG levels, but for now…” She carefully turned her head, trying to read me. “Congratulations.”
I chewed on my lower lip. “Thank you.”
“Now, I see on your chart that this was an unplanned pregnancy. You’ve been on birth control for some time now?”
“Yeah, since I was sixteen. But I must have missed some pills or…”
Dr. Farina nodded. “Sometimes we slip up. Sometimes the pills don’t do their job. Either way, you have options, Cara.”
Katie had said the same thing to me the night before. “There are options. You don’t have to take this on if you don’t want to. But if you do, you won’t be alone.”
As soon as she said that, I knew. “I don’t think we need to discuss options.”
The doctor’s eyes jumped with a pleasant smile. “Well, that makes my job a whole lot more exciting.” She looked down at the chart. “Now, first things first, let’s try and get a fetal age.”
Dr. Farina went through all the various technical details to try and determine how far along I was — the last time I had unprotected sex, the dates of my last period. Once her questioning was through, she poured over her notes and nodded. “Okay. Good. Well, let’s get an ultrasound going and maybe we can get a bit more information.”
I nervously laid back as Dr. Farina prepared the ultrasound machine.
“It’s too early to do a pelvic ultrasound probably, so we’ll do a transvaginal. Is that alright with you?”
“Sure.” I stared up at the ceiling. I still couldn’t believe this was real. Kids always were in my future. They were in my day-to-day life. I felt like I was meant to be a mother. But the timing was still hard to wrap my head around.
While Dr. Farina prepared me for the ultrasound, Katie stood up and grabbed my hand. “Thank you.”
“Of course. But you have to promise to be there for me when it’s my turn.”
“It would be my honor, Katie.”
Once the ultrasound started, the room was silent. Dr. Farina probed and prodded until finally, she smiled. “Okay. There we go. See here —” She flipped the screen around to face us. The screen was blotchy, just black and white shapes. She pointed to one of the blobs. “Here’s the embryonic sack. And based on the length, I think you’re about five weeks pregnant. No visible heartbeat yet, but that should change by your next appointment.”
Like looking at abstract art, I wasn’t sure I even knew what I was looking at. But I knew how it made me feel. A smile crept onto my lips. This little blob was going to grow and grow. I would eventually be able to make out the full form of my baby inside me.
