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Simone gently squeezed my arm before leaving Charlie and me on the doorstep.
“I know you’re trying to look out for me, and I do appreciate it. I do. I just wish it was as simple as all that.”
Charlie pulled me into an awkward, brotherly hug, slapping my back before allowing me to release. “I love you, man, and you will figure it out. She’s worth it. Sometimes the truth does hurt, so know it is coming from the bottom of my heart when I tell you this, Cal.” He rested his hand over his heart. “You need to go clean yourself up. You stink and look homeless.”
My eyebrows arched and fell at his blunt but more-than-likely accurate assessment.
With that, we said our goodbyes.
The night was chilly again, the kindness of Mother Nature limited by the warmth and sunlight of the past few days. Even at the cabin, the sun’s rays tried to break through and reach me, the dust swirling around on the beams through the worn and decrepit curtains.
The desire to run back to the cabin was almost overwhelming, especially when the alternative was facing Alina and the truth.
* * *
After leaving Charlie’s, I had sat in the silence of my living room. The longer I sat, the more the truth in his words sunk in.
He was right about my needing to make peace with the past. I couldn’t let the fear which had gripped me for so long control me any longer. Alina needed to know the truth. She had to hear it. No matter how much I knew it would be bitter.
Heaven was my own bed. I had slept like a log and woken at dawn with the energy I’d been lacking for years.
At her front door, I stood, then raised a fist to seek her attention while my heart thumped in my chest. It felt like the final moments of peace before the showdown.
“So, you’re back?”
Spinning around at the sound of her voice, Alina stood on the bottom step, a basket filled with flower cuttings and vegetables in her hand.
“Yes.” My ashamed gaze fell to her feet before traveling back up to her face.
“I’d hoped you would.”
She hoped?
How was it a single word could so easily lift a spirit before allowing it to plunge back to earth?
“I didn’t think it’d be so easy to find a builder to finish the job you’d already started.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I had some things I needed to take care of.” Plodding down the steps toward her, I reached for the basket handle, surprised when she allowed me to take it from the bend of her elbow where it had been resting.
Neither of us made a move to go inside. Instead, my eyes found the turned field. Lifting my chin in that direction, she followed with her own gaze.
“You’ve turned the field.”
It was more of a statement than a question, but she answered anyway.
“Yes, I figured it could entice the new buyer to see the field in bloom. I think it would make for some really beautiful photos in the listing.”
Her words sunk into my stomach and left the taste of lead on my tongue. She was still selling. Mentally, I kicked myself for my naivety. It was clear that any revelations over the past week were mine and mine alone. If she was waiting for the blooming field, then at least I had time on my side. A few months at least before she was planning on leaving.
Leaving me standing there, Alina brushed past me, and, for a fleeting moment, our skin made contact. In that single moment, my world stilled to slow motion.
Alina stopped at the door, turning to me with regard to our shared contact, her expression showing me she felt it as intensely as I had. Then, as quickly as the moment passed between us, her guard went back up, and the sadness hidden in her eyes was exposed.
“The ‘some things’ you had to take care of, were they because of me?” Her head tilted to the side, revealing a kind of childlike virtue and curiosity.
There it was, the opportunity I never expected to receive and possibly the only chance I would get to man up and reveal the truth to her of her own accord.
“The truth?”
