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Chapter 1
Heather felt bad for Kyle.
She’d tried so many times to convince him the problem was her and not him. She’d never had an orgasm and assumed she never would, but she’d come to terms with it long ago.
Kyle, however, wouldn’t accept it, and he refused to get off until she did, which meant he never came.
At first, she thought he went soft because Heather couldn’t get into it, but the last time they’d tried, he told her he didn’t deserve an orgasm if he couldn’t make her happy.
Why her easygoing boyfriend chosethistopic to dig his heels in was beyond her. When she’d told him she could give him a blowjob and get him off, and assured him she didn’t need him to touch her while she did it, he’d seemed horrified at the idea she was okay with giving him pleasure when she received none.
She’d had this speech all prepared about how she could give him a few blowjobs a week, and maybe do the sex thing once or twice a week — as long as he didn’t expect her to enjoy it. However, after his reaction to her suggestion, she’d crawled inside herself with the knowledge she was about to lose the love of her life because something inside her was broken and she didn’t know how to fix it.
Should she tell him,again, she was more than happy to give him blowjobs as often as he wanted, and she’d even do the sex thing with him once or twice a week — but expecting her to actually enjoy it was asking too much? She didn’t know any other options.
But she’d chickened out and said nothing more, expecting he’d break up with her in the coming days.
But now, a few weeks later, she hadn’t lost him yet.
Unfortunately, he was trying again with soft music and candles while he licked her clit and pussy like it was supposed to magically turn something on in her. Heather found herself trying to find shapes in the texture on the ceiling in the flickering candlelight. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings butdesperatelyhoped he’d stop soon.
Her mind drifted, and Heather pondered once again whether she should’ve allowed their relationship to move into a romantic one. They’d been friends for years before they started dating, and they’d been together three months before having sex. After another three months of dating with several failed attempts, she wondered what it would take to convince him she just wasn’t wired for it. She’d even tried to explain what sensory processing disorder meant, and how her time in a Korean orphanage, hungry and in a lot of pain, had made her turn her pain signals off when she was a baby — when she’dnevergiven such personal details to a boyfriend before.
She’d let their relationship move to the next level because she couldn’t deny how much she loved him, but now she was worried she was going to lose him. He was her rock, her best friend, and she felt more at home in his arms than anywhere else on the planet.
Her eyes watered, because it was beyond time she accepted that she was never going to manage a long-term relationship with a healthy male.
There was no doubt Kyle loved her. He’d quietly seduced her for years, and had been a great friend who’d become so much more. She’d been determined to keep him in thefriend boxbecause she valued his friendship too much to lose him over sex, but he’d finally convinced her he loved her no matter what, and she’d gotten tired of fighting her own feelings for him. She’d stupidly hoped it might be different this time.
So here they were, madly in love with each other, but she was too broken to make it work.
Kyle kissed his way up her stomach, and she breathed in relief with the realization he was trying to call tonight’s experiment quits without anyone being upset it hadn’t worked. He maneuvered through the center of her breasts, gave her a peck on the lips, a soft kiss on the forehead, settled a sheet over them, and pulled her into his warm embrace. “It’s okay, babe. It’s not your fault it didn’t work. We’ll figure out what turns you on.”
Heather spooned into him and relaxed into his arms, but she silently wondered if he’d still want her once he figured outnothingwould work.
Chapter 2
Heather breathed in the mountain air while she focused on the final safety check for a tandem hang-glide. It would be terribly easy to overlook things when the sky was electric blue and the weather was perfect, but she never skimped on safety.
She’d wondered why Marcus had suddenly wanted to hang-glide, but hadn’t asked too many questions. Sometimes the decision was immensely personal for first-timers, part of closing a chapter of their lives, or affirming life in a spectacular way. She was here to make it happen and not to act as therapist. Besides, Marcus was a psychiatrist, so she assumed he had people to talk to about that sort of thing.
Since he was Kyle’s best friend, she’d only intended to charge him what she had to pay for the tow-ride up, but he’d insisted on paying the price she listed online. He’d finally agreed to pay something between the two amounts, but only if she’d let him buy her dinner afterwards. Before she could turn him down, he’d suggested she talk with Kyle before answering him.
Not only had Kyle thought it a great idea, but he’d made it clear Marcus knew everything about Kyle, and he’d be okay with whatever they talked about while hang-gliding or over dinner.
She focused on remaining professional while she adjusted Marcus’s straps. Some people were uncomfortable with the places she needed to touch, tug, and pull, but he seemed fine. Strapping a stranger in is different than strapping your boyfriend’s best friend in, but Marcus seemed at ease as they talked about how it felt, how the weight would be distributed, and how he could — and couldn’t — safely reposition himself in flight if he became uncomfortable.
Marcus caught on quickly to her instructions on the ground, so before long they were being towed into the air by the ultra-light. The cool wind brushed her face, the details on the ground grew smaller, and Heather feltalive. Exhilarated. The planet below them, the air holding them aloft, the wind in her hair and face as she took in everything around them so she’d be prepared for whatever the sky threw at her. The cloudless day meant she couldn’t watch the air currents — she’d have to feel and sense them. Adrenaline pumped through her veins as she gripped the bar in her hands, sensing any changes while being hyperaware of the wings above her.
Thiswas why she scaled mountains, hang-glided, and kayaked the most dangerous rivers: otherwise, there were very few times she felt much at all. Most of the time, Heather merely existed — thinking and being without experiencing the normal input people’s bodies are supposed to give them about the world around them.
When the ultra-light finally released them and she was piloting them through the cloudless cerulean sky, she came even more alive, and Marcus’s whoop of pleasure beneath her made her want to vocalize as well, so she did, and then smiled ear-to-ear as laughter bubbled up. She loved giving people new experiences. She knew how to calm a tandem rider when they freaked, but she so much preferred it when they got into it as Marcus was.
She made a few sweeping turns and he seemed okay, so she made some tighter turns to give him a bit more of a thrill ride.
Of all the things Heather did to get her adrenaline going, this was one of the best. Flying like a bird was incredible. Soaring over the earth, the wind in her hair, looking down at the tiny buildings and trees, the feel of the air currents lifting the wings, shifting her body to alter the flight path and accommodate sometimes constantly changing winds — this brought her to life like nothing else. If transmigration was possible then in her next life she wanted to come back as an eagle.
After keeping them in the air as long as possible, she lined up and brought them in for a smooth touchdown in the soft, grassy landing zone. She helped him out of the harness, and Marcus picked her up, spun her around, hugged her and kissed her on the forehead, and then put her back down before dancing a little jig with her.
