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Arabella
Sweat trickles down my back. My nerves so frayed that I can’t bear to look at the shop. Instead, I focus on the pavement, tracing patterns with my shoes. As the sky darkens and the temperature drops, my anxiety only grows. But it’s not the weather that gives me chills—it’s waiting for Thunder. The hurt in his eyes before he turned away has haunted me for two days. Two days since his last visit to the shop where he used to come daily. I know I pushed him away. His question caught me off guard. Even when I saw his lips form the words, I couldn’t believe it. It’s been three years since a man showed interest in me—or perhaps three years since I allowed myself to notice. Thunder was impossible to miss. How could I not feel his presence, even from a distance? The first time our eyes met, I felt an electric sizzle and burn, like a vampire thrust into the sunlight. A light I tried to escape, but couldn’t. His light found me even when I didn’t meet his gaze.
Now I stand here in the dark, waiting, hoping to undo the damage I’ve caused. I startle every time someone exits the shop, frustrated that I can’t hear them coming. It’s one reason I avoid unfamiliar places. As I wait, I sense the weight of stares on my back. I know the burly men leaving the shop are looking at me, but I brush them off. I’ve dealt with stares most of my life. Being deaf sets me apart, and I’m used to the curious glances and double-takes. It won’t stop me from apologizing to Thunder.
I refuse to question why I’m so determined to make things right with him. I simply accept that his absence revealed a void in my life, one I need to fill. I miss the way he lingered in the shop, eyeing pastries like a starving man, his eyes brightening when he saw me. I long to make things right, to explain my reaction. But how can I tell him that the mere thought of a date terrifies me? That I’ve been hurt too often to let my guard down?
Finally, I spot him. As he walks towards me, my heart races. Handsome as ever in his leather jacket and jeans, his muscles strain against the fabric, and his jeans hug his hips. He exudes danger, but I can’t run away—not this time. When he reaches me, I try to steady my breathing. Thunder stops, his eyebrows raised. Our eyes meet, and I wince at the surprise and confusion in his expression.
“Thunder, I’m so sorry,” I say, offering his favorite icebox lemon cake—the one that makes his lips purse in delight with every bite. A lump forms in my throat, but I force it down. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just wasn’t expecting you to ask me out, and I didn’t know how to respond.”
Thunder studies me, and I wonder if he’s weighing whether to forgive me. I stand still, waiting for his decision. After a moment, he takes a deep breath and shakes his head. He speaks, but I can’t catch the words. Gently taking his arm, I guide him out of the shadows, ignoring the jolt that passes through me. I point at the streetlight above, and comprehension dawns on his face. He nods, repeating his words so I can read his lips. “You didn’t have to do this,” he says, accepting the dessert.
“I understand if you don’t want to see me again,” I bite my lip, searching for the right words. “But I just wanted to say I’m sorry, and I hope we can still be friends.”
For a moment, we stand there frozen, the tension between us palpable, but I don’t know how to break it. My eyes widen when Thunder takes the cake from my hand. His jaw relaxes as he sighs. “Arabella, I appreciate your apology. But it’s not just that you turned me down. It’s like you’re afraid of me or something. I’ve never hurt a woman, and I never would.”
My heart pounds in my chest as I try to come up with a response. I don’t want to tell him the truth, but I can’t lie to him either. “It’s just…” I force the next part out past lips that don’t want to move. “My ex-boyfriend was a biker, and things didn’t end well between us…” My shiver stops my words. What else can I say? How do I explain Mac?
Thunder steps closer, the scent of leather and engine oil mingling with his natural musk. His rugged features furrow, and his beautiful dark eyes won’t let mine look away. “Arabella, I get it. Some lowlife who didn’t know how to treat his woman burned you. But I’m not that scumbag. I wouldn’t treat you like a piece of meat or play games with your heart. I’m a man of my word. All I want is a chance to show you that you can trust me. We won’t do anything you don’t want to do.”
A shiver runs down my spine from his intense gaze. Despite his rough exterior, there’s a tenderness in his eyes that makes me want to believe him. “It’s not just that,” I say, my voice trembling over the next piece of honesty—a truthfulness I’m compelled to give him. “I’m not sure I’m ready for a relationship right now. I’m still figuring things out.”
Thunder’s towering frame highlights all the ways I’m small and vulnerable. His size alone screams at me to run. I chant, ‘He’s Thunder, not Mac’, in my head to slow my heartbeat. He keeps his face toward mine, making sure I can clearly read his lips when he says, “I understand, sweetheart. I’m not looking to rush you into anything. But can we at least try? See where things go?”
I stare at him, feeling a mix of fear and desire swirling inside me. Part of me wants to run away, to hide from the intensity of his gaze. But another part of me, a part that’s been dormant for too long, wants to take a chance on this man. Maybe he’s just what I need to break out of my shell.
Slowly, I nod my head. “Okay,” I say. I mouthed it instead of vocalizing, but I know he got it.
Thunder’s face lights up, and he wraps me in a bear hug before I can protest. As he hugs me, he presses his face into my hair, and his lips move. Aargh, I hate correcting him. Hate how much people dislike repeating themselves. But I have no choice. I don’t know what he’s saying. I squirm away and tug his face back until I can see his lips again. Understanding flashes in his eyes instead of annoyance. Another reminder that he’s Thunder and not Mac. “You won’t regret this, Arabella,” he says. “I’ll show you what it means to be protected and respected.”
I ignore the warning that the word ‘protected’ hisses in my mind. Protection doesn’t equal obsession. I shake my head and smile. Does this guy know how to slow down? “Or maybe we could start by just getting to know each other.”
Thunder nods. “You got it, darlin’,” his return smile swallows his face. “We’ll take things at your pace.”
He practically breaks out into an exuberant jig before settling on a vigorous fist pump that makes me laugh. “Thanks for understanding,” I say, reaching out to touch his arm before I jerk my hand back. Stuffing it into the pocket of my jeans while my face flames. “I just don’t want to rush into anything.”
Thunder nods again. “I get it,” he says, his eyes softening. “And I respect that. You’re worth the wait, Arabella.”
My cheeks flush, and I can’t stop the warmth from spreading through me. This man, with his rugged good looks and his patience, is winning me over.
When we walk away, Thunder reaches for my hand, but I keep it locked in my denim pocket. Damn Mac, for making me nervous about something so normal. I see hurt flash in his eyes. Hell, even a blind me could see it, and my heart aches. “I’m sorry,” I say, over the enormous lump in my throat. “I’m not used to this kind of thing.”
“It’s okay,” he says, but his smile is a little dimmer. “I’ll walk you home. Make sure you get there safe.”
As we walk, Thunder suddenly stops and points up at the sky. “Look,” he says, with his gesture. “There’s Orion’s Belt. Do you see it?”
I tear my eyes from his face and follow his finger to gaze at the stars. Wonder washes over me. “Wow,” I breathe, my eyes scanning the sky. “It’s beautiful.”
Thunder nods, his eyes still locked onto the stars. I move around him, pulling his chin down to see his lips. “Stars have always fascinated me,” he says. His voice is a low muffled rumble. I can’t distinguish his words, but the timbre settles inside me. “Ever since I was a kid. When I grew older, I rode my motorcycle across the country, just so I could sleep under them.”
“Really?” I ask, my curiosity piqued. “What was it about the stars that drew you in?”
Thunder’s eyes crinkle at the corners. “I guess it made me feel small and insignificant, but in a good way. Like I was a part of something bigger than myself. Something amazing.”
“I know what you mean.” I look up again. “I’ve always been fascinated by the stars too. My dad used to take me stargazing when I was little, and I remember being awed by the universe.”
“I’m glad we have that in common,” he says, his hand reaching out to brush against mine. “It’s just one more thing that makes me feel like we were meant to meet.”
