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The teen shook his head. “The past is gone. My name is Mud.”
“The past shaped us into the people we are. The present and future are what we make of ourselves. We can choose to continue to be who we were or change to become who we want to be. But it’s the past that helps us make those decisions. We learn from our mistakes or the mistakes of others.”
Mud shook his head. “I want nothing to do with my past. TCW gave me a home, family and a place where I felt useful. They taught me how to do things I never thought I could.”
“The leadership in TCW would have let you die rather than take you to a hospital,” Judge stated flatly. “You wouldn’t be alive now if I hadn’t gotten you to a hospital.”
Mud looked away. “But I am alive now. And I want to go back. I need to go back.”
“Don’t you want to let your family know you’re okay?”
He snorted. “I don’t have a family. They’re dead. My mother, father, baby sister…dead.”
Judge frowned. “Were you in foster care before TCW?”
The boy’s mouth clamped shut. He probably felt like he’d already said too much.
“Look, I know the rules. You’re not supposed to talk about your past. Do you think I would’ve risked my life if I didn’t care about what happens to you?” Judge shook his head. “No, I wouldn’t have.”
Mud remained stubbornly silent.
“I could’ve left without you, and they would’ve let you die. But I got you out and took you to a hospital. Something they weren’t willing to do. I’m already on their shit list for leaving and taking you with me. You can tell me anything; I’m not going to share your secrets. They don’t control me, and now, they don’t control you.” He touched Mud’s arm.
The boy flinched away.
Judge wasn’t ready to give up. “What’s your name? Mud is degrading. Beneath you. You deserve to have a real name.”
“My name is Mud!” the kid yelled, pushed to his feet and swayed. “I don’t deserve the name of my past. It only reminds me of what I lost. And it was all my fault! If I hadn’t been arguing with my little sister in the back seat, my father wouldn’t have turned around while driving. He wouldn’t have run head-on into that truck. They’d be alive, and I’d be home with them now.” Tears spilled down the teen’s cheeks. “It was all my fault.”
Judge stood, pulled the kid into his arms and held him as his thin body shook with the force of his sobs. “What’s your name?” he asked softly.
“Brian Alexander Thompson is dead,” the boy said between sobs. “He should’ve died with the rest of his family. Instead, he’s died a thousand deaths since.” He leaned into Judge and cried until he had no more tears.
When Brian’s knees buckled, Judge scooped him up in his arms and carried him into the house.
Hank led him to a spare bedroom and peeled back the covers on a queen-sized bed.
Judge laid the teen on the clean sheets and pulled the covers up around him. Then he sat on the mattress beside him, holding his hand until he drifted into a restless sleep.
Judge moved from the bed to a chair beside the bed and waited for the kid to wake. He wanted to be there when he opened his eyes so he would know Judge wasn’t going to desert him.
When Brian finally woke, he looked around the room, a frown denting his forehead until his gaze landed on Judge. The frown cleared.
“How do you feel?” Judge leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “Think you could eat something?”
Brian nodded.
As if she had radar senses, Sadie appeared with a tray loaded with two sandwiches and two glasses of ice-cold lemonade. “I thought you might like something to eat,” she said with a smile. “Oh, good. You’re awake.” Her grin broadened for Brian. “I’ll just leave these with you and come back later to collect the empties.”
She hurried out of the room, leaving them alone.
Brian managed to scoot up to a sitting position and accepted the sandwich Judge handed him. After he’d taken a few bites, he washed them down with the lemonade. “I still need to go back.”
Judge didn’t try to talk him out of it. “They made you feel like they were your family,” he said, trying to understand the kid’s need to return. “Is there someone, in particular, you’re worried about?”
He studied Brian’s face.
The teen looked away. “Not just one person,” he admitted.
