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I loved him, but I never trusted him.
What had Ben been thinking, coming here? I’d felt as if I were under a microscope as he assessed me and my club.
The guy had a chip on his shoulder the moment he pulled into my driveway. I understood this was the last place he wanted to be. And from what I could glean, he believed I wronged Evan by turning his proposal down. But Ben didn’t know the full story. If he did, he wouldn’t be such an ass.
But what shocked me to my core was my attraction to Ben. Of all the men my libido could choose, it landed on him by getting all fluttery and bent out of shape?
Granted, I had a type, and he was it. He has a dark, inky buzz cut and no facial hair to speak of, but it only made his appearance that much more dramatic. Because it left his strong, square jaw free for me to admire. He bore a proud Norman nose that was slightly crooked and looked as if it had been broken a time or two. Thick black brows arched above arctic blue eyes framed by some of the longest eyelashes I had ever seen on a man. And don’t even get me started on his mouth. I could spend hours sucking on his full bottom lip.
He was tall, a good six feet, with a rock-hard physique. But then, he was a SEAL. They were all prime physical specimens.
And yet Ben was something more. He walked into a room with his bad attitude and fucking owned it. He saturated the space with his energy. It felt like the air right before a thunderstorm, how the atmosphere was electrically charged with bright flashes of lightning illuminating the sky. How it made your hair stand on edge. It was the deep breath before the plunge.
Not that I would ever act on that attraction. I might find him sinfully handsome, but considering he acted like a rabid honey badger upon our first meeting, I would be a fool to tangle with him.
I promised myself years ago I would protect my heart at all costs. Men didn’t stick with me. The truth was, I fell for Evan. I believed his sugar-coated lies. And he’d broken my heart.
And the second thing I had sworn when I finally found the courage to end my relationship with Evan was that I would never be with another military man. I liked them. Respected the hell out of what they did. But my heart couldn’t handle another one.
When I reached my driveway, I noted they had pulled their Harleys to one side. I pulled into the garage and entered the house through the garage door. But there wasn’t anyone in the kitchen or living room. In fact, where the hell was Tater?
And that’s when I heard his distinctive bark out back.
I headed to the French doors leading out onto the deck. The guys were all out back. James and Aiden were in the yard throwing the frisbee for Tater, who looked like he was having the time of his life. Lucas and Wyatt stood near the grill, the rising smoke carrying the delicious scent of barbecuing meat.
And then there was Ben. He sat at the patio table, a beer in his hand, staring at the bottle as if it held the secrets of the universe. It hit me in the chest, the sorrow I sensed in him. For all his gruffness, the guy was hurting something fierce. And I wanted to comfort him, not that he would accept comfort from me. But I felt it just the same.
I stepped onto the deck. All five guys glanced my way as I approached. “Smells good. Thanks for handling dinner. I picked up some dessert.”
“Want a beer?” Lucas asked with a wry grin.
He was cute, with his dark hair and even darker eyes. He seemed nice. They all did. Ben being the exception. But I would bet the money for my next Brazilian that Ben was pleasant around most people. It was just me that he had a problem with.
“Sure.” If I drank a bit with these guys, it wouldn’t be a big deal. It might even endear me to them.
Lucas grabbed a cold bottle out of a cooler and removed the top. I lifted a brow. Last time I’d seen that cooler, it had been in my garage. “What are we having?”
“Burgers, brats, corn on the cob, chips.”
I accepted the bottle and took a sip. The cold beer hit the spot. “If you’d like, I’ve got the fixings for a salad.”
“Yes. We could all use some greens,” Wyatt said with a nod, holding a pair of metal tongs.
“Great. I’ll get that put together.” There should be enough for everyone to have some veggies. Plus, it would clear out my fridge enough for when I went to the market Sunday morning.
“We figured we could eat out here,” Lucas stated.
“Might want to rethink that.” I jerked my head toward the approaching clouds. “We’re in for a real humdinger of a storm tonight.”
“Damn,” Ben said, finally lifting his head and catching sight of the dark clouds rolling in.
“I’ll set the table inside if one of you would move the cooler into the garage. I’d say we’ve got thirty minutes or so before the storm reaches us.”
“On it,” Aiden said, hefting the cooler into his arms.
“And if someone could keep an eye on Tater. He might act all big and bad, but when there’s a storm, he loses his mind. If he’s left out here during the storm, he’ll hop the fence, and I’ll spend the night driving around trying to find him.” It had happened on more than one occasion. The poor dear had complete meltdown panic attacks, to the point I had a sedative from the vet I’d give him when he came inside with them for dinner.
“I’ve got him and will see he gets inside. You don’t have to worry about him,” James assured, scratching Tater’s head, much to the pup’s delight.
