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And I stopped allowing my libido guide my decisions a long time ago. It’s why God invented vibrators. To keep women from making stupid decisions about bad men.
“How long have you lived here?” Aiden asked me. I smiled because out of all of them, Aiden appeared the most carefree. Don’t get me wrong, each man had this edge, a way of standing, a way of being—a confident presence that set them apart from other men.
“I bought this place three years ago.” Buying this house had been one of my life’s goals.
After a childhood of not being wanted, of not having a real home, this place and everything inside it was part of a dream come true. People treated dreams like they were something that simply landed in one’s lap. The reality was, I worked myself into the ground to achieve this dream. I scrimped and saved. I fucking danced my legs off. I worked out every day to keep my body toned and lean. It’s why I had an extra room added onto the back of the garage for a small studio gym. There was even a corner with a practice pole so I could practice my dance routines.
This house and all its contents were the culmination of a lifetime of working my ass off. I danced night after night with men watching me with lust in their eyes and lewd comments on their tongues. I worked to become the best damn stripper who ever fucking lived. And it worked. Bachelor parties traveled from all over South Carolina just to see me dance. There were nights I’d walk away with four grand in tips alone.
But I had been smart with my money. I saved every penny I possibly could. When my savings grew to a reasonable amount, I sat down with a financial planner and invested safely with low-yield returns. And it all paid off in the end.
Because five years ago, I bought Madame X’s from the former owner. Then enacted the changes I wanted, turning the club into a high-end strip joint. The changes I made had been a veritable gold mine, just like I knew they would be.
“It’s a very nice home,” Lucas added with a friendly smile. If there was anyone in the group I wished my hormones would admire, it was Lucas. I’d bet the guy was fun as hell in bed with his rakish, charismatic arrogance that, instead of being annoying, was appealing.
The group reached the first spare bedroom, and I pushed the door open. Tater bounded right inside. His exuberance at having guests was adorable. I rolled my eyes at him. There was a reason I kept these doors closed. “This is the first guest room. Two of you can sleep in here. There’s a bed and then a sofa bed inside. I’ve got extra blankets and pillows I can get out when I return from my club.”
“Your club?” Ben asked egregiously. His husky baritone hit me dead center in my chest. It created a shower of pleasure-infused sparks along my spine.
I studied him with a discerning eye. He had a superiority complex, that was for sure. I’d write him off as an asshole if it weren’t for the desolate pain filling his artic blue eyes. Evan’s death was ravaging him. And I knew he’d been trained not to show emotion. So for him to display his feelings in any way spoke of his deep, abiding grief. As much as I wished it were otherwise, I ached for him. I wanted to offer him comfort, even though I doubted he would accept it from me.
From the moment I spied him defiantly standing in my driveway, I knew Ben would cause me trouble. Over the years, I’d cultivated the ability to size a man up with a single glance. I was rarely, if ever, wrong.
And Ben was furious—with me.
If he wanted to be pissed that I wasn’t dancing to Evan’s graveyard tune, then so be it. I won’t be intimidated. I won’t be forced to read something in front of a group of guys I might recognize because of the pictures Evan showed me but whom I didn’t really know.
To hell with that. And him.
“Yes. I haven’t been a full-time stripper in years. I own Madame X’s. And I only take my clothes off when I want to now.”
So sue me; I had a fetish. Who the fuck didn’t? I liked being watched and admired by men. It got me hot as all get out having a plethora of male, and sometimes female, gazes staring at me while I removed my clothing. I didn’t even have to strip to get hot anymore. All I had to do was think about stripping, and I was reaching for my trusty vibrator to ease the throbbing ache.
Ben’s face hardened into stone. His gaze turned downright frigid. “I see.”
Glaciers gave off more warmth than he did.
Unbelievable. I was surrounded by rugged men in their damn prime, who were tossing off testosterone like it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet and the cook made a surplus they’re giving away for free. And which one gave me bad thoughts with a backlog of naughty fantasies I wanted to enact?
Ding, ding, ding. You guessed it. Ben. The man who looked like he wanted to thrash me.
I felt like I stuck my finger in an electrical socket. Every hair on my body stood at attention. I hoped like hell they couldn’t discern how stiff my nipples were through my tank top, because then they would know how aroused Ben made me just by being near him.
“Does that mean we can get in for free?” James asked with ribald enthusiasm.
I shifted my attention away from Ben to the rest of the gang. James, Aiden, and Lucas all wore hopeful expressions. The least I could do for Evan’s buddies was let them into Madame X’s free of charge. It wouldn’t hurt my bottom line any. And fuck, I knew I got to live my life the way I did because of what these guys did day in and out. “Yeah, if you’re gonna be in town long enough, I’ll comp your admission. But you still need to tip my girls and pay for your own drinks. If you decide you want to go, you can ride with me. I don’t want y’all drinking and driving.”
Lucas slung an arm around my shoulders. “You’re becoming one of my favorite people. If we go, will we get to see you dance?” He wiggled his brows in a dramatic fashion that had me barking out a laugh.
I liked Lucas. He was unassuming. And he didn’t hide his appreciation for the female form, mine included. “Not tomorrow night, unless one of my girls calls in sick. But possibly on Saturday night, if there’s an opening. I haven’t finalized the dance schedule yet.”
“I’d pay to see that, sweetheart.” Lucas looked me up and down as if I was a delectable treat.
I removed his arm and said, “Cool it, Romeo. Your charms might work on some of my girls, but you need more game than that to charm me.”
“Damn! She turned you down flat,” James said, laughing his head off.
“Come on. It’s getting late.” And I still had to run to the club.
