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PROLOGUE – 16 YEARS AGO
“Your first love isn’t the first person you give your heart to—it’s the first one who breaks it.”
~ Lang Leav
GRACE
I stoodon Nate Braddock’s doorstep, a bag of lemon drops in one hand and my heart in the other. I knocked, my breathing shallow. I couldn’t believe I was going to do this. Two years after my out-of-control crush on my best friend started, I would finally tell him how I felt.
When no one answered, I cracked the door open and peered through the gap. A light was on in the living room, and I could hear the TV. I pushed the door open further, took my shoes off, and padded in. Max, Liam, and Connor—three of Nate’s brothers—were sprawled on the couch and armchairs, watching an action movie. Liam greeted me with a smile, Connor with a slight tip of his head, but Max, Nate’s twin, seemed to pale.
“Hi,” I said. “Is Nate around?”
“He’s in his room.” Connor sounded bored. “Or maybe the shower.”
“Um.” Max wet his lips. “You might want to wait for him to come out.”
I frowned. “Why?”
Nate and I shared everything with each other. Max had never suggested I shouldn’t just go in to see him before.
He hesitated, visibly lost for words. Before he could say anything, a little girl skipped into the room, nearly tripping over the ends of her flannel pajamas.
“Toby won’t let me into the toilet,” she whined. “Max, tell him to hurry up. I’m tired, and he’s been in there for ages.”
Max sighed, and I took advantage of his distraction to slip past them and down the hall. I’d come to ask Nate to be my date to the senior dance, and I wouldn’t be distracted from my mission. It had taken me weeks to work up the courage, and once I had, I’d wanted it to be perfect, so I’d bought a bag of his favorite candy and waited for a night when I knew his parents would be out. If I didn’t ask soon, I might explode.
I knocked briefly on Nate’s bedroom door, then pushed it open.
I stopped short.
There, lying on his bed, wearing nothing but one of Nate’s rugby T-shirts, was Maddy McLaren from school. My heart sank and my stomach rolled nauseatingly. Maddy raised an eyebrow at the sight of me and made a show of tidying her tousled blonde hair. I bit my lower lip, unsure of what to say. Maddy was everything I wasn’t. Confident, outgoing, flirtatious. I’d had no idea Nate might be interested in her, but my eyes didn’t deceive me. Whatever I’d walked in on wasn’t innocent.
Maddy swung her legs off the edge of the bed and sashayed toward me with a sexiness I’d never be capable of. She reached out, and I thought for a moment she was trying to take my hand, but then she snatched the bag of lemon drops from me and smirked.
“Thanks.” Her voice was husky and self-assured, as if she was found half-naked in guys’ bedrooms every day. “It was so sweet of you to bring these over for us. I know how much Nate loves them.” She winked. “I’ll make sure he gets them.”
I didn’t move. I couldn’t. I was so shocked.
Maddy McLaren was here in Nate’s bedroom. In his shirt. On his bed. Had they…?
Oh god. I didn’t want to think about it.
My heart felt like it was battering against the inside of my ribcage, and I struggled for air. I was too late. I’d missed my chance. Nate was with someone else.
Maddy seemed to take my hesitation as a refusal to leave, because she narrowed her eyes and leaned close. “Look,” she hissed. “I know you and Nate have some weird BFF thing going on, but he’s mine now. I’ve been with him in a way you haven’t, and if I were you, I’d leave before he gets out of the shower. If you stay, you’ll only embarrass yourself more.”
My eyes burned. A choked sob rose up my throat, and I clapped my hand to my mouth and backed away. I wished I had something snarky to say back—a way to put her in her place—but I’d always been better with words on paper than in person. Besides, she was right. She had Nate and I didn’t.
I turned away and noticed Max standing in the hall. I hung my head and refused to meet his eyes. As if this couldn’t get any worse. He must have known what I was about to walk in on, and he’d tried to warn me, but I hadn’t paid attention.
I backed out of the room and began to brush past him, but he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and guided me to the room next door. His bedroom. I entered, barely noting the organized desk and rows of academic awards on his shelves. It was all I could do to hold myself together.
Max pulled me into his arms, and I buried my face in the crook of his neck. All of the Braddock boys were tall, but I was unusually tall for a girl, so we fit well.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “He’s an idiot.”
I sniffled, self-conscious about getting snot and tears on him. “I’m the idiot. I should have said something sooner, or just realized I didn’t have a chance.” I huffed. “If he was actually interested, he’d have already done something about it.”
