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She turned on her heel and bolted.
I sagged against the couch, that little flame of hope fizzling out.
I guess I had my answer. It just wasn’t the one I wanted.
26
GRACE
My heart beatlike crazy as I rushed out of Nate’s place and fumbled with the keys for my car. It took me three attempts to push the button that would unlock it, and when I did, I didn’t allow myself a moment to stop and process what had happened. Instead, I slammed the car into reverse and shot backward, the tires slipping as they gained and lost grip on the icy road.
I sucked in a breath and let it shudder out, then gathered as much composure as I could and drove toward home. My thoughts were a jumble, and although I fought to keep my breathing steady, my head spun and my vision seemed to blur and sharpen with each beat of my panicky heart.
How had Nate known? Had he somehow overheard my whispered confession to Cissy?
Mortification swirled through me, hot and unpleasant. No, he couldn’t have. I’d never be able to look him in the eyes again. The image of his face flashed through my mind. His expression as he’d asked if I’d ever thought of him romantically. Tender and curious. With the way I’d sprinted out of his home, I couldn’t have left him in any doubt.
Had I finally ruined everything?
Did I still have a best friend and a surrogate family, or would Nate slowly withdraw from me now that he’d realized the truth? It wouldn’t be comfortable for him to be around me, knowing what he now did. I couldn’t stand his gentle understanding. It would eat me up inside.
I opened my garage with the push of a button as I pulled into the drive. I parked inside and walked into the house in a daze. Duke greeted me with an excited bark, and I bent to pat him. His entire body waggled with the force of his wagging tail, distracting me momentarily from my thoughts. I scooped him into my arms, grunting with the effort.
“You’re getting heavy, Dukie.”
I carried him to the sofa in my private living space and snuggled on the couch with him, smiling when he scrambled onto my knee and licked my chin. We stayed that way for a while, and gradually, Duke’s quiet, loving presence calmed me enough that I began to doubt the version of events in my mind. Perhaps Nate hadn’t overheard my conversation—not all of it, anyway—and he’d been asking out of simple curiosity rather than because he knew the truth. Maybe it had just been a “Hey, do you ever think about what it would be like if we were in a parallel universe where we were a couple” kind of question. It wasn’t the sort of thing I’d expect him to ask, but it had been a big day, and perhaps he was feeling introspective.
I groaned. Either way, he’d know for sure something was up because of how fast I’d bailed out of there. I’d given him that lackluster story about the dog, but it didn’t explain my rapid departure—a fact he’d be well aware of. If he hadn’t already guessed, he surely would.
I withdrew my phone from my pocket and found Ryan’s number. After a few seconds of hesitation, I called him. It was late, but not so late he’d be asleep.
“Everything okay?” he asked when the call connected.
“I think I screwed up,” I admitted.
“How?” He sounded more alert now. “Are you all right?”
“Physically?” I sighed. “Yeah, I’m fine. Emotionally, I’ve gotten myself into so much trouble.”
I explained the situation to him, and when I’d caught him up, I waited to hear what he had to say.
“Yeah,” Ryan said eventually. “By clearing out of there the way you did, you definitely will have made him question things.”
I dragged my free hand down my face in dismay.
“But,” he added, “I think it’s possible you got the wrong idea when he was asking those questions. I doubt he overheard your conversation with Cissy. If he had, he doesn’t seem like the type of guy who’d beat around the bush. I don’t know him as well as you do, but I get the feeling he’d have just outright told you. He’s not a game player, is he?”
“Nooo.” I drew the word out, considering the implications. “You’re right. He isn’t. But if not that, then what?”
“I have an idea,” Ryan said. “But I could be wrong.”
“Tell me.” Whatever he had, it must be better than the possibilities floating around in my head.
“Perhaps he was asking that because he’s started seeing you in a different light lately, and he wanted to know whether you might return those feelings.”
I touched my mouth. Surely not. “But why would that happen out of nowhere?”
I could practically hear Ryan’s shrug. “Who the hell knows? Random shit happens all the time. Maybe he’d never really thought about it until he saw you and me together, and then something in him snapped.”
