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“Other than jealousy over seeing you happy without him?”
Josiah shook his head and pulled his second beer from the carrier, but didn’t open it. He stared at the damp label so he didn’t have to look at Michael. “Seamus is a practical guy. I’ve never known him to be ruled by his emotions. He needed a roommate, he got one. He needed someone for regular sex, and he got that, too. He needed someone desperate enough for attention and a place to live that I’d jump when he told me to, and bring him coffee at all hours of the night, even if I was fast asleep. Then he lost interest and I got the boot.”
“A harsh fucking boot.”
“It was, but again, it was his call. For as scared as I was of him for the first week or so after, worried he’d change his mind and demand I go back to that existence, I think he’s moved on.”
“What about the guy with him today? Do you think he’s in the same situation you were?”
Do you think he’s in physical danger?went unasked.
“I don’t know,” Josiah said. “I’ve never seen him before, and today he almost seemed possessive of Seamus. It was bizarre.”
“Could he be an ex back in the picture?”
“No idea. Seamus never talked about his past or previous partners, male or female. Although sometimes I got the odd sense he was hiding here.”
Michael reached out and popped the cap off Josiah’s beer. “Hiding from what?”
He shrugged and sipped the warming beer. “Dunno. People finding out he’s gay? Your guess is as good as mine, and it’s too nice a night to keep talking about Seamus. Let’s keep celebrating a great day. Do you know any constellations?”
“Not really. Dad knows some but I never cared enough to learn. I just like looking at the light and finding my own patterns. Sort of like cloud watching and looking for shapes in them.” Michael stretched out on his back, bottle resting on his stomach, his free hand pillowed behind his head. Josiah looked up at the stars so he didn’t stare at Michael’s long, muscled body.
“You know, when you invited me to stargaze, I thought you might have something to teach me,” Josiah teased.
“Surprise. I just wanted to spend time with you, away from other people. Talk and stuff.”
“And stuff?” Josiah wasn’t sure he was ready for “and stuff,” but Michael painted a very tempting picture lying that way, smiling up at the sky. After another long pull of beer, Josiah put his bottle next to his empty and lay down next to Michael. The position gave him a much better view of the blanket of stars above them.
As he stared up, he began to understand Michael’s view on the stars a bit more. The way their light made Michael feel seen even when he was alone. How they themselves were like the stars—specks of individual light in a sea of billions, both the same as every other one, and also completely different from each other. No one light identical but each serving the same function.
“The stars see you, Josiah,” Michael whispered, as if hearing his own internal thoughts. He spoke softly, almost reverently, and Josiah didn’t object when Michael rested one hand over Josiah’s. A gentle pressure without taking or demanding. Simply making contact.
“I feel seen by them.” He let his head loll to the side; Michael was staring right at him. “And by you.”
Michael’s entire body seemed to thrum with energy, a live wire ready to snap, but it didn’t scare Josiah. Michael moved slowly, pulling his hand away from Josiah’s so he could sit up on one elbow. Stare down at Josiah with so much tenderness Josiah’s heart wept with joy and relief. He was absolutely safe here with this man; Josiah knew it in his bones. And in that moment, he wanted nothing more than for Michael to kiss him.
Michael stroked his thumb across Josiah’s left cheekbone in a featherlight touch that warmed Josiah’s blood in a pleasant way. With tender caresses, Michael touched his face and neck with only his fingertips, while his gaze seemed to study him, mapping his cheeks and chin and the small mole on his jaw. Josiah didn’t think he was all that interesting, but Michael? Looming over him like he wanted to devour Josiah? He was gorgeous, with his dark eyes and square jaw and light dusting of evening scruff. Scruff Josiah resisted running his own fingers over. He couldn’t make himself touch, only experience.
“May I?” Michael whispered so softly Josiah saw the words more than he heard them.
In an equally quiet, breathy voice, Josiah said, “Yes.”
Michael sifted his fingers through Josiah’s hair, and Josiah leaned into the tender gesture of being petted. So thoughtful and kind, making no demands on him or his body, melting Josiah’s hesitation with each passing moment. When Michael finally leaned in, Josiah didn’t tense. He remained relaxed, curious as Michael brushed his warm lips over Josiah’s, barely hard enough to feel or catch the taste of the man.
Needing to know more now that he’d had a sip, Josiah arched up and captured Michael’s mouth with his. Michael moaned softly and parted his lips just enough for Josiah to catch the delicate, intoxicating taste of beer and man. They kissed like that for a while, their lips questing and tasting, without deepening it. Then Michael’s body slid closer and pressed against his side, and the erection that brushed Josiah’s hip sent a jolt of reality through him.
He pulled back and sat up too fast, nearly clipping Michael’s chin with the top of his head. His own body thrummed with arousal and desire, but Josiah couldn’t indulge. Not now, not with this man, and he had reasons for that.
Boss. Paycheck. Wrong.
Right. “I’m sorry,” Josiah said. “I shouldn’t have allowed that.”
“I’m not sorry.” Michael twisted around so he was facing Josiah, legs crossed, hands in his lap. “I didn’t plan it when I asked you out here tonight, but I can’t say I wasn’t wondering what kissing you would be like.”
The part of him that craved genuine intimacy and affection couldn’t help asking, “What was it like?”
“Sweet. Intoxicating. Craveable.”
