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“I thought it was pretty good, too.” Josiah saw the intent in Michael’s expression and the moment he started to move in. He reached out and put a staying hand on Michael’s shoulder. “We can’t. I know I’m giving you mixed signals, and I’m sorry about that. I do like you, Michael, but I work for you, and I need this job.”
“I’m not going to—”
“I know you wouldn’t kick me out if things don’t work out between us. You’ve said it and I believe you. This is about me and my headspace right now. Most of my adult life, I have traded my body for a place to live and I finally have a semblance of independence. I can’t give that up.”
Not right now, no matter how much I want you.
“That’s fair,” Michael said after a few seconds of watching him with an indecipherable expression. For all the beer he’d consumed, he seemed incredibly sober now. “I don’t want to pressure you. I will be blunt and say I like you. I’m attracted to you, and I would love to take you out on a date. But I also hear you and what you’re saying. Friends?”
“Definitely.” He held his beer out.
Michael tapped the neck of his against Josiah’s with a grin. “Good. You wanna stargaze in silence for a little longer? I promise no more kissing.”
“Sure.”
Josiah stretched back out with Michael by his side, the stars a blanket of twinkling light above. He’d enjoyed his long, sensual kiss with Michael, but it couldn’t happen again—no matter how much his body craved another kiss, another touch, maybe even a real, full-body hug. Those were dreams for another time and place, not for here and now. Not for him.
For here and now, he had friendship and the stars. And for here and now, those two things would have to sustain him. Period.
Chapter Fifteen
“Did you notice I swapped out your sandwich filling for a can of Dog’s food?”
Michael nodded around his mouthful. “Uh-huh.”
“Big fan of liver giblets and gravy?”
“Sure.” He swallowed and reached for his can of cola, gaze fixed on the break room wall without seeing it, mind still full of his weekend with Dad and Josiah. Especially with Josiah.
“Michael, buddy, are you here?” Jackson snapped his fingers in front of Michael’s face, and that shook him out of it.
“What?” He looked at his sandwich. Still roast beef from last night’s Sunday supper. “What did you say about my liver?”
“You were a million miles away just now. Everything okay?”
“Yeah, things are great.” And they were, not counting being turned down by Josiah on Saturday night. Michael hadn’t been completely surprised by it, given Josiah’s employment status and his prior relationship (such as it was) with McBride, but it still hurt his pride a little.
He hadn’t shown it yesterday, though, when he and Josiah teamed up to get Dad’s new bedroom ready. Michael had picked up the twin bed right when the thrift store opened at eleven. He and Josiah had assembled it with no hint of awkwardness between them, only a familiar camaraderie, and Dad hadn’t seemed to sense anything had changed. Dad had been thrilled to see his new room, decorated with some of the framed photos and personal items from his upstairs bedroom.
A photo of Mom sat on the small table they’d used as a nightstand. One of the windows faced out over the front yard and so many of Dad’s favorite sculptures. He’d get some morning sunlight now that they were moving into the winter months. After existing in the living room for almost seven weeks, Dad finally had a space of his own again, and Michael had been proud to give him that.
“You sure things are great?” Jackson asked. “Tell me to butt out, because you know I will, but you’ve been really distant today.”
“I’ve just got stuff on my mind, that’s all. But things really are great. It was a good weekend.” He told Jackson more about the picnic and then assembling Dad’s room, leaving out his stargazing with Josiah, because that was private. As much as he wanted to confide in someone, he wasn’t sure Jackson was a close enough friend yet to tell about his feelings for Josiah.
Brand came into the break room just as Michael was tossing away his sandwich wrapper. “Hey, Michael, do you have an hour to go over the new website?”
“Sure, no problem.” His afternoon schedule included mucking three horse stalls, so he didn’t mind pushing that off for a little while. He grabbed his mostly empty cola and followed Brand out of the barn, across the yard to the bunkhouse/office. Brutus was spread out on the small porch, and his tail thumped against the wood floorboards when he spotted his human. Brand reached down to rub the top of his head as he passed.
The simple sight made Michael’s heart pang him for his own dog. He’d finally found out via a mutual acquaintance that Kenny had given Rosco to a neighbor Michael knew and trusted to care for Rosco, but the separation was still raw. It probably always would be. Right now, Michael found a bit of solace in spending time with Brutus and Dog.
Michael had uploaded the new Woods Ranch website a few days ago as a beta, giving Brand and his family time to explore and test the new features, one of which was an interactive blog where customers and vendors could post feedback and recipes for their beef. Brand had loved that idea, because it hit a demographic of younger foodies who leaned toward natural and organic eating, and he hoped it would help get their beef into more grocery stores and other sales outlets around the state.
Slow expansion was key, Brand often said. “Give the customer a product to believe in and no reason to doubt you.”
So far, so good.
They fussed with the site for a while. Some of the changes Michael could make right there, but others he wrote down to fix when he got home. Hopefully, the new site would go live by the weekend.
