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“Why would it worry me?” Josiah turned to face him, his repaired glasses perched too low on his nose, and he stabbed them back up. “I love seeing my patients heal and regain their previous independence. Your dad deserves his life back.”
“I know, and I agree with you. I didn’t mean to imply otherwise. I am so grateful for Dad’s recovery, and so much of that is you, Josiah. I guess I don’t want you to feel beholden to our original agreement if there’s another job out there with a patient who...”
“Who what? Needs me more?”
“Well, yeah, kind of. Dad loves you, and I adore you, but there isn’t a lot for you to do, and I don’t want you getting bored. Or to think I’m taking advantage of you or your time.”
Josiah crossed his arms and took a full step backward. “Are you asking me to leave?”
“No, God no. I love having you here, and not specifically Nurse You who takes care of Dad, but just you, Josiah Sheridan, the guy I’m dating.” Dating was relative at the moment, since they hadn’t actually gone out anywhere in the last two weeks. There weren’t very many places for them to go nearby. One gay bar existed but it was a forty-minute drive, and Michael preferred their time spent alone anyway. Even “dates” as simple as sharing beers in the cab of Dad’s pickup, because it was too chilly to sit outside while stargazing, were amazing and fun.
“You see? This is why I turned you down the first time. Me working for you and dating you is getting complicated, and I didn’t want this to be complicated. I’ve had too many complicated relationships in the past, and I need one thing to be simple.”
“It doesn’t have to be complicated.”
“No? How do you un-complicate it? I quit?”
“I don’t want you to quit.” Michael took a chance on getting into Josiah’s personal space and resting his hands on Josiah’s hips. He waited until Josiah looked up at him. “I just think maybe you’ve outgrown this particular position. You are better than sitting around most of the day with nothing to do except PT twice a day. PT you could help him with in the morning and evening, before and after a shift somewhere else.”
“Then tell me what you want me to do, Michael. You’re my boss, so this is your decision.”
“That’s the thing. I don’t want to be your boss anymore. I just want to be your boyfriend.”
Josiah’s eyebrows went up. “Boyfriend, huh?”
“Yes, boyfriend. Part of your salary is your rent on the trailer, plus a check for the rest. What if in exchange for your rent, you continue to do Dad’s physical therapy twice a day, but you also have the freedom to take on another paying client outside this house. You are still welcome in the house at any time, for any meal or just to hang out. That won’t change. Would you feel comfortable with that?”
“I’m not sure.” He chewed on his thumbnail, head tilted down. “I love being here, in this house with you and your dad. But you’re right. Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m doing enough to earn my check. I am thrilled with how far Elmer has come and how little he really does need me every day. And if I’m being honest, if you were a regular client I wasn’t dating and didn’t basically live with, I would have brought it up myself and probably sooner.”
“So youaredissatisfied with the job as it is now.”
“Yes. I don’t think Elmer needs full-time care anymore. I’m nervous about him being home alone after what happened to me, but it happened tome. Not to him. Maybe next week, once the holidays are over, I can look into some other work in my field. Someone else whose life I can improve by taking care of them.”
“And I am all in with that. I want you to do what makes you happy. Please, don’t ever feel obligated to do something because you think it’s what I want you to do. I spent too many years doing that with Kenny, and it left me basically broke and homeless.” While the homeless part had fixed itself the moment Michael came home to Weston, he was still subsisting off his ranch paychecks. He’d had one offer on the Austin house so far below asking he’d laughed until he ended up with a hiccup fit.
“You know I understand making others happy at my own expense.” Josiah rested his own hands on Michael’s forearms in a familiar hold. “Your support means everything.”
“You’ve got my support. You mean so much to me.” More than Michael had words to express, and he hoped he put some of those emotions into his smile.
“Same.” Josiah took a single step forward, leaving only a few inches of air between their bodies. “Do you mind if I, um, stay a bit later tonight? Maybe after Elmer goes to bed?”
Michael’s pulse raced. “Yeah?”
“Yes. We haven’t had any real privacy in a few weeks, and I would really like some time with you. Upstairs? With some time to just be together?”
“We can definitely arrange that. And I promise no pressure. As much time as I spend imagining what it will be like to make love to you, I want it to happen when we’re both ready.”Especially you.Josiah had given up too much of his body, his autonomy, and his self-respect already. Michael wouldn’t be another person who took from or used him.
“I’m getting there, and I need you to know I trust you. I’m a big fan of sex, and I’ve had some pretty great sex. I’ve also had some pretty awful sex, and those are my most recent experiences. The fact that I know you’ll be patient with me and won’t push is actually a huge turn-on.”
“Yeah? I will go tortoise slow if it turns you on. I will go frame-by-frame forward if it turns you on. Although some touching would be good, too.”
“There will be touching.” Josiah slid his hands up Michael’s arms and rested them on his shoulders. They were so damned close now. “I promise lots of touching very soon.”
“I’m down with touching. Can we start dinner now so we can get to the touching?”
Josiah chuckled. “Even if we start dinner now, Elmer probably won’t go to bed for a few more hours.”
“I know, but at least cooking will distract me and make time move faster.” Michael leaned down and kissed him. “I’m so glad to be here with you.”
