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“How are you doing, Jacy?”
I studied her. “What makes you ask?”
“I saw you with Tryst earlier. You appeared upset.”
“I need to pack.” When I went up the stairs, Merrigan followed.
“What happened?”
“I dreamed about Edmund last night. And the baby.” Merrigan was the only other person I’d told how much more I lost the night of Edmund’s death. When I sat on the edge of the bed, she sat beside me.
“I’m so sorry.”
“I know you are. Everyone is. It was a tragic event. The most painful of my life. And just when I start—”
I couldn’t continue. Had I really expected tomove on? Had I truly believed a relationship with any man, let alone Tryst Avila, was possible?
“Jaicon, I beg you not to let go of this thing with Tryst. You are both entitled to experience love and happiness again. There are no two people more deserving of it.”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter how many days, weeks, months, or years pass. For the rest of my life, I will wake in the throes of a nightmare about the accident that will result in its entirety playing out in vivid detail. Tryst is not deserving of such an experience.”
“Would you deny him comfort if something reminds him of the loss of his wife?”
She knew I would not. “Zeppelin and Magnet are waiting. They’re traveling with me to Alamos in advance of Tryst’s arrival with Jada.”
“Jaicon—”
“Merrigan, I love you dearly, but I do not want to talk about Edmund, the accident, or Tryst as he relates to anything other than a consultant I’m working with in order to help facilitate an investigation into who is ultimately behind Luisa Reeve’s abduction and the sex-slave-auction site she was found on.”
“Is that the only way you see him now? I had the impression the two of you had grown close.”
I shook my head, blinking my eyes against the tears that threatened. “The dream I had last night served as a reminder that I’m not ready to move on, to act as if I didn’t lose the love of my life or our child. If anything, it was good I realized it before I’d become more attached to Tryst.”
“What about him? He has no say? No right to know the decision you’ve made that will also affect him?”
“Your supposition that I would not show him that courtesy belies the friendship I believe we have.”
She put her hand on my arm. “You’re right, and I apologize. I do know better than to think you could be so callous.”
“If you truly are my friend, truly care about me, you’ll not push me into something I’m not ready for.”
“While it breaks my heart to see you walk away from another chance at love, I give you my word that I will not push.”
“Thank you. Now, I really do need to go.”
We stood and embraced. “Please remember I am always here whenever you need me. Even when you don’t.”
I smiled. “I know.”
Zeppelin and Magnettook turns sitting in the cockpit of the Cirrus Vision with me on the trip from the airfield in San Luis Obispo to Tryst’s ranch. Each feigned enthusiasm over the aircraft’s design and the view, but it was evident neither wanted to leave me alone. It was somewhat amusing in that if something had gone wrong, neither man would be able to fly the plane.
“This place is brilliant,” said Zep after we taxied and I maneuvered away from the runway. I wasn’t surprised to see a golf cart parked and waiting for us. In it was a note indicating the two men with me had their choice ofcasitasand that the staff would provide anything they or I needed.
“I understand why everyone loves coming here,” added Magnet.
“It is quite magical, and you haven’t seen all of it yet.”
On the way to thecasitawhere I’d stayed previously, we passed by the meditation center. When we reached the barns and I saw Tex working with Cariño, I asked the guys if they’d mind if we stopped.
