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PROLOGUE
SERAFINA
Present Day
‘Today’s the day, Sera.’
I heard Nick’s voice just as his warm breath travelled over my ear. At the same time, his hand brushed delicately across my upper arm as my eyelids reluctantly fluttered open. Finding the July sunshine already forcing its way either side of the cream Roman blinds, I squeezed them shut once again.
Today’s the day.I couldn’t have put it more aptly if I’d have tried.
Not only had our time together come to an end, but a hope I had carried around with me also had an expiration date of today. Furthermore, this date carried with it the greatest loss I’d ever known.
I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to deal with everything this beautiful sunny day in July would bring, but equally knew I had to.
Up until this point, I had always known the next step to take in my life, but I had no idea where I was going to next, and I hated the feeling of being rudderless.
I had no definite plan.
There were two things I wanted in my life, but deep down I’d always known I wouldn’t be able to have both.
Having made no reaction to his words or touch, my bed then dipped, and I knew within seconds I would hear Nick’s bare feet connecting with the Georgian oak floorboards as he moved away from me and across the room. My lack of response had been enough for him to understand that I wasn’t going to change my mind and I wouldn’t be going with him. He needed the chance to accept his path in life and I had to stay to work out mine.
I knew that I was going to miss him. Nick and I had become friends in the first year of university. Although, we’d never delved into each other’s pasts, we seemed to wordlessly understand that the baggage we’d brought between us was piled high. Far too high to wade through. Then about six months ago, we’d become even closer, after recognising that we’d helped each other to overcome the obstacles that had been thrown into our paths during the first few years of university life. Spending the night together had become a regular part of our week. The fact that Nick lived in the rented flat above mine was a bonus, meaning we could always be there for each other when needed, and we weren’t party to other people’s judgement or their opinion on our relationship.
Equally, I knew that if today marked the end of my time in London, I would also miss the beautiful home I’d created for myself. My flat had been brought back from the dead by my own hands, being only the second thing I’d ever created. Having nothing else to concentrate on, nothing else to numb the hurt and pain I carried inside myself, I’d poured my unrequited love and passion into the nearly derelict flat. Painstakingly, I’d brought my one bedroomed home back to life, keeping the original features where I could. When it was finally completed, I’d moved into Montague Place and had been here ever since, living out the only dream I still held.
But today the bell tolled. Graduation day marked the end of my time at university and the last day that he would know where to find me.
A feeling of melancholy washed over me as I contemplated the loss of another two things from my life.
Nick was off to the U.S. to continue his education and work experience in his chosen field of surgery and I—well, I was going to take the only path I could see in front of me to put my medical training to good use, and apply for a role as a junior doctor in a busy London hospital.
But whether that would happen, remained to be seen.
I had a secret.
I’d been living a double life.
A double life that half the time scared me to death, yet the other half fuelled the very blood that kept my passionate heart beating.
I had made a good life for myself over the past few years. I’d enjoyed everything that came with being at university. I’d forged friendships, at times hadn’t slept for thirty-six hours straight while I swatted for an exam with my small group of friends. I’d attended lectures and seminars operating on Red Bull alone. But, for all the things I’d experienced and shared with others, I hadn’t shared who I really was with anyone at University College London, not even Nick. Because it was easier for me to live with who I was, when I was the only one aware of my reality. Or maybe I hadn’t said the words out loud, because I knew that however intelligent I was, I wasn’t articulate enough to explain it in the twenty-first century. Although I’d been born in London and embraced my London life, a part of my soul belonged to an area in southern Italy. A place where family honour and tradition hadn’t changed for centuries.
The very second I’d placed my pen down on top of my paper and acknowledged that my final exams had been sat, a sense of knowing my time was up had crept up on me and it had grown ever larger as each day of the past two months had gone by. Just because I hadn’t admitted it out loud to anyone in the past few years, that didn’t mean my other life had ceased to exist, and I knew that it was only a matter of time before it loomed over me.
He’d promised me he’d be back for me, and only time would tell. Destiny, as he’d called it, had all of one day left.
Maybe he’s not coming at all?
Trying to extinguish the pain that thought brought with it each and every time I’d allowed it headspace, I shook my head and tried to relieve it of my jumbled thoughts.
First things first.
Trying to appear more relaxed than I felt, I stretched out my limbs, rolled onto my back and let my eyes drift across the room. I took in the sight of Nick getting dressed for what I realised would be the very last time.
He pulled on last night’s T-shirt and as his head appeared back through the neck, I offered him the most brilliant smile I could and hoped it conveyed my silent thanks.
Thanks for being you.
