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‘Okay,’ she muttered, still staring at me with a look of puzzlement.
‘Our lives are different to those of the friends we made in England.’ I shrugged at her, moving my bouquet back in front of me. ‘This might be my one chance to be a little different.’
She nodded. ‘I know. I’m the youngest and everything, but I still know.’
‘Do you?’ I questioned, immediately regretting the slight sarcasm I heard in my tone.
‘I may be younger than you all, but I’m not stupid.’ I walked towards her and took hold of her fingers with mine. ‘It’s annoying being the youngest and having things whispered about behind your back, just in case you might hear.’
‘Oh, Mia, of course you’re not stupid. We’re just trying to protect you from things that you don’t need to know just yet.’
‘Well, Iknowyou don’t love the man you’re marrying today. Because you’d have to know him already, wouldn’t you?’ She opened her eyes wide, as she gave me a “see” expression.
‘You’re right,’ I agreed as I smiled at her. ‘I don’t know who I’m marrying today, which is sort of unusual, but not unheard of in our community.’
She nodded her acceptance at me. ‘Will you still get to be a doctor?’ It was only then that I took in the pity her eyes held for me.
‘I hope so, one day,’ I answered her and made sure the pain I felt at having the life I wanted ripped away from me wasn’t evident on my face. The truth was, I doubted it very much. But my life in exchange for my parents’ and siblings’, felt like a small price to pay. Maybe, after all, it had been their lives I’d been destined to save and not those of complete strangers.
‘I think if he’s a nice man and you become friends, you could fall in love and be happy,’ she presented her thoughts to me.
If he’s a nice man?Knowing more and more with each passing year just what my papa and the families around us did for a living, I knew there would be a slim chance of that. I was sixteen years old, quite pretty I’d been told, and my family had been cast aside. All those things made me quite a bargaining tool, but I couldn’t imagine that those traits would get me a nice man. Decent husbands and family men like my papa were few and far between. The most I could hope for, was that I was to be married to a lower ranked soldier who would be damned grateful to have a Giordano as his wife, and the worst that could happen… well, I refused to let myself go there.
‘Maybe,’ I placated her and gave her a little smile.
‘It’s been better here since you decided to get married.’
She wasn’t wrong.
‘It has,’ I replied and then stopped myself from trying to explain to a nearly twelve-year-old the reasons why.
How do you explain to one so young, that our family were somewhat back in favour, even though our papa was still being investigated for possibly working against one of the most powerful families in Italy? I wasn’t at all sure. We were playing a dangerous game of balance and I felt like my life was the counterweight. One thing I was sure of was, she didn’t need to know all the ins and outs for the time being, she could keep her innocence a while longer.
‘And whoever he is, when he sees you come in the church, he’d better appreciate just how lucky he is to be marrying you, Sera.’ Dante’s voice sounded out from the open doorway. ‘Now, are you ladies ready?’
‘Hold on,’ Mia almost squealed and set off to have another look at herself in the mirror.
I let my eyes travel over to him leaning against the doorframe. His short, fade haircut and the three-piece suit he was wearing made him look at least eighteen. I knew there was going to be a lot of girls in the church today trying to get his attention. Our elder brother Alessio was equally attractive, but with curly hair and brown eyes, rather than mine and Dante’s bright blue eyes. However, carrying the world on his shoulders had left him much too serious looking for his age.
‘Thank you,’ I smiled at him. ‘You scrubbed up very well, too… the girls are going to fall in love with you today.’
‘That’s nothing I’m not used to.’ He gave me a quick wink.
With just those few words Dante effectively let me know that at only fourteen years old, he had lost his virginity. For a second, I just stared at him, while I thought over the difference between the two sexes in our old-fashioned community. But, by tomorrow, I would also have lost my virginity and we would once again be on a level playing field.
Although, his would have been lost in pleasure—and mine, well, it was being offered up in exchange for our lives.
‘Okay?’ he questioned, catching my thoughtful expression.
‘Fine,’ I swallowed down my fears, ‘although I’m not sure what you’re still doing here. I thought I gave strict instructions that the family, except Mia and I, should go on ahead?’
‘You agreeing to this farce of a marriage…’ I opened my eyes wide at him before he said anymore in front of Mia. Luckily, she was twirling in front of the large mirror that dominated the guest bedroom and the net underskirt of her dress was rustling enough to drown out his voice. Dante nodded once at me in understanding and carried on. ‘You agreeing to this marriage today, has given you a lot of clout and Papa has listened to everything you wanted, but even you didn’t really think he’d allow you to arrive at church without at least one male member of your family, did you?’
‘No,’ I admitted. ‘How do you think he’ll react when he sees the dress I’ve chosen?’
‘I think he’ll look at you with love, the same way he always does.’
‘I hope so…’
