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A small sob fell from my mouth.
The unfairness of it all had hit me like a sledgehammer. The past few months had affected me. Losing Zeno, supporting my parents and becoming an adult when I still wanted to be a child. Putting my own hopes and dreams on the backburner. Fighting inside myself daily with the love and hate I had for Salvatore and not being able to talk to anyone about it, had taken its toll on me. Then, discovering that the man I shouldn’t love was going to be the man I married this morning had been completely overwhelming. Finally, the strength and nonchalance I’d accepted my fate with dissolved, leaving a cloud of dust in its wake and I felt the pressure of tears building behind my eyes.
My young age and lack of experience had nothing more to offer in defence at my situation.
I saw in his eyes the millisecond he understood that I was about to start crying and possibly needing to vent my anger at my situation, begin to shout and scream at him. His hands came up quickly in reaction to capture either side of my face.
In his hold, I instantly felt grounded.
‘You will not do that here,’ he demanded. ‘He…’ Salvatore corrected himself. ‘They will not see your pain.’
‘I’ll cry when and where I bloody well like.’ The words left my mouth before I thought better of it.
‘Bold choice of words, little bird…’ He lifted one eyebrow as he reprimanded me. In response, I made my body still in defiance. ‘So, again she fights, and I’ve never been more excited by a woman.’
At the thrill of his words, I felt one solitary tear run down my face, before his lips once again found mine. My lips parted wider as I greedily accepted anything he was willing to offer, and he kissed me senseless. I knew the man I’d married had managed to keep our illusion in place in front of our gathered family and guests. I could imagine that to the others looking on, we’d look like we could no longer keep our hands off each other and the way he was kissing me I knew that had I been watching, I’d have been convinced of it too.
Suddenly, his hands left my cheeks leaving me feeling bereft. When they found my upper arms, I relaxed at our connection. As he stood and pulled me up to standing with him, our chairs were removed by the waiters behind us. Then his lips lifted away from mine before, much to my surprise, he changed his hold on me and swung me up high and held my small frame tightly and protectively in his arms.
‘Thank you, Romeo, my brother, for your words.’ I heard his deep voice reverberate through his chest as he spoke. ‘My speech will be short. Thank you to my beautiful bride, Serafina. To my grandfather for allowing us to celebrate here at my family home. Thanks also go to Alessandro Giordano forgivingme his daughter…’ Salvatore’s choice of words hung in the air for a few seconds before they were met with more applause. ‘Finally, thank you to you all for coming to celebrate with Serafina and me today… I’m sure you’ll all understand when I say I now want my wife all to myself.’ I heard the deep rumble of laughter leave the men and pushed my face further into the cover of his suit jacket as my embarrassment at his words began to consume my cheeks. ‘Please carry on, eat, drink and celebrate our marriage in our absence. We will see some of you tomorrow morning at eight for the blood ceremony.’
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
SALVATORE
I tookthe long strides needed to separate us from the crowd quickly, ducking every now and again to take us under yet another low bough of one of the lemon trees my grandfather loved so much. With each step, the stiffness in my shoulders and the burn inside my guts started to feel less intense.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
The second Enzo had bestowed his congratulations on us and touched my new wife, I was once again back at his father’s home witnessing the depraved look on his face when Serafina’s name was mentioned. It took all I had to remain seated. I could feel my hands wrapped tightly around his fat neck and could see his eyes bulging from their sockets as I deprived his lungs of oxygen.
I squeezed my eyes shut for a couple of seconds to dislodge my thoughts. Then using muscle memory alone, I side stepped, moving us alongside a row of olive trees and carried on putting the distance I knew we both needed between us and our wedding party. Serafina moved against my body with ease, like I always knew she would, and I lifted her a little higher in my arms, wanting to feel her as close to me as possible.
‘Where are we going?’ Her voice brought me out of my own thoughts. The emotion and fear in her voice was discernible.
‘My home,’ I answered. ‘Now our home,’ I corrected myself.
‘Is it far?’ Her voice trembled as she spoke.
‘I’m walking… so no.’ I answered her more abruptly than I knew was necessary and instantly regretted it.
‘You can put me down now.’
‘I could… but I won’t,’ I replied, as I negotiated the well-worn path to one of the many outbuildings on the De Luca land.
I’d taken over the outbuilding as mine, the same day I’d been accepted into the family by my grandfather. After he’d introduced me to my siblings and I’d seen the intolerance for my presence in my father and the hatred held in his wife’s eyes, I’d understood that me being here might have to be accepted by them, but I didn’t necessarily have to look at their faces daily.
With several skilled craftsmen working under my direction, we’d brought the two-storey, stone building, which dated back over a hundred years, back into the twenty-first century. Outside, it was still the traditional stone building, with its clay tiled roof, that sat comfortably within its surroundings. Inside, was another story, it was modern in every sense of the word. Downstairs featured a small kitchen and sitting room and upstairs one large bedroom with open plan bathroom, walk-in wardrobe and a balcony which looked down towards the sea, with what I considered our beach off in the distance to the left.
I loved the view, and I wasn’t prepared to think about why.
I knew my conversion wasn’t her family home. But I hoped with its quiet solitude, her obedience and submission, she’d be as happy as she could be here.
The only problem I could see for her, was having to be so close to me. I assumed she would have shared a bedroom with her sister, but she’d always had time and space to work through her own thoughts. My home was small, and here her emotions would be on full display for me, which was just as I wanted it. Although, given our arranged marriage, I wasn’t convinced she was ready to share everything with me. But that was her problem, not mine.
I had more than enough money to buy somewhere much better, but it suited me to remain right where I was while I worked through my plans for the future, until one day I would move into the main house as the head of the family.
We would only be here until tomorrow anyway, when in the afternoon we would leave by boat to travel around Italy for a few weeks. Although December wasn’t the best time of year for weather in the Med, the sea was generally emptier, and it was easier to see some of the beauty of the place. According to my stepmother, it was tradition to get away for a few weeks and she’d informed me that most first babies were conceived on the honeymoon. Apparently, it was a present to us from her and my father. As soon as I’d seen the smile on his face, when we’d accepted their gift and would be going away, I knew my father had put her up to it.
