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At the sound of his name, he turned to face me and as he stared back at me, the atmosphere in the room changed. I could see the hate in his eyes and his anger falling away from him in waves.
Although, looking at him, I wasn’t sure which one of us he was angrier with.
‘What do youwantme to say, Serafina?’ He spoke the words with vehemence. ‘Do you want me to tell you that I’ve always loved you and all these years I’ve been hoping that one day we’d marry?’
I couldn’t answer him, because I knew that in my heart that was exactly what I wanted to hear and openly admitting it right now wasn’t a good idea. I thought back to the afternoon at the beach when he’d held me in his arms and told me I’d marry him and I’d agreed. I knew he felt something for me. I just hoped it wasn’t hatred. Didn’t they say that love and hate often walked hand in hand?
Suddenly, it became clearer.
‘Is marrying me your revenge on my papa?’
‘Yes… clever girl.’ Salvatore answered sarcastically and changed his stance, widening the gap between his feet and pushing his hands into his front pockets. With his eyes still on mine he tipped his head back ever so slightly and looked down his nose, as he goaded me into asking my next question.
‘All those years you came to see me at the beach… was I always going to be part of your plan for vengeance?’
‘Yes, always.’ I watched him reach for and close his hand around the blue glass of the water to the side of him, before he lifted the bottle to his mouth and drank it straight down. ‘I just took receipt of you a little earlier than even I expected, courtesy of our Don,’ he continued as he wiped the residue from his full looking lips with the back of his hand.
The thirst I’d felt earlier increased as I watched his actions. We were in the middle of a conversation that I knew would govern the rest of our time together, but in my head I was imagining running my tongue up and over his Adam’s apple, before licking the moisture away from his mouth.
The intensity of how much I wanted to see his smile, feel his touch, and his naked body moving against mine, felt wrong and yet so right at the same time.
All at once, I heard the words he’d just said.
‘Receipt of me?’ Strangely, although I was hurting inside and I could see his anger, in my own rage at his choice of words, I was no longer frightened of him.
‘Okay, receipt might be a bad choice of words… I took ownership of you early.’ His eyebrow lifted in amusement and a smile spread across his face. Seeing him smile so rarely, I was dazzled by its brilliance.
‘And that’s so much better?’ I questioned and saw him shrug as though he didn’t care, when I was convinced in some way he did. ‘Salvatore, it makes no sense. I refuse to believe you. You’ve been coming to find me for years, offering me your company and friendship. And although it was never spoken, I felt your love.’ I could feel my brow creasing as I tried to work out the truth.
‘I never gave you love, Serafina.’ He shook his head and then continued, ‘I’m incapable of loving anyone or anything.’ He wrenched his left hand from his pocket and pushed it through his thick hair. My fingers flexed as I imagined making the exact same movement.
‘I don’t believe you.’ I shrugged at him, feeling proud of the newfound strength I spoke the words with, and although I knew I was short in comparison to him, I stood up to drive them home.
‘That’s your problem… I can assure you it was an illusion you made up all by yourself, without any help from me. You’re sixteen years old… you know nothing apart from the cosseted life your parents have given you.’
‘I might have been well looked after, and I’m really sorry that’s something you missed out on.’ I watched as he deflected my empathy by taking a step towards me. ‘I also might only be sixteen, but don’t you dare underestimate me. I’m a married woman; I found the strength to marry someone I didn’t think I knew, to save my family’s lives.’ I watched as Salvatore took another step closer to me and to counteract how that made me feel, I raised my voice. ‘Then, as bad luck would have it, I married the man who saw to it that my older brother lost his life, the same man who then slit my brother’s throat just to feel his blood run over his fingers. So, don’t you dare say Iknownothing!’ I recited what Alessio had told me.
‘I do what’s necessary.’ He spoke even louder to drive his words home.
‘You might think you’ve only married me out of necessity...’ I shook my head at him showing him I wasn’t convinced. ‘But that same afternoon, you came for me, you held me in your arms and told me that one day I’d marry you.’ I continued to shake my head at him, showing my disbelief. ‘And you’re saying it was all for revenge?’
‘Yes. My mama lost her life to your father. Now you’ve lost your life to me.’
‘So, you mean to kill me?’ I couldn’t help the slight tremor that swathed my tone.
He rocked his head from side to side as if he was hypothesising the situation. ‘I’ve already explained to your dear papa that when I find the evidence I need, to prove who he really is, he will be third on my list… after Zeno and you.’
‘I don’t believe it,’ I accused, hoping I sounded more persuasive than I felt.
‘Believe what you like, little bird.’
‘You haven’t asked why I don’t believe it,’ I responded, knowing that with a man like Salvatore I needed to show him my strength, not my weaknesses.
‘I’m sure the woman in you means to tell me.’
I ignored his gibe, feeling pleased that although I was young, he recognised me as a woman.
‘The reason I don’t believe it, is not because I believe you incapable of doing it, it’s because my papa had nothing to do with your mum’s death. That means you will never find the evidence you’re looking for. Without it, even a man like you wouldn’t kill me.’
