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Frozen to the spot, I let the only person I’d ever truly let into my life, once again take their rightful place inside me.
I knew it was a risk.
But I couldn’t live without her any longer.
It was time to move forward, and she was taking that step with me, whether she thought she wanted to or not.
CHAPTER THREE
SERAFINA
Our graduation was overand all around me my peers were falling into their loved one’s arms to celebrate. I turned around on the spot and waved to my retreating parents, who I knew I couldn’t have reached even if I’d have tried. With my papa in a wheelchair, he and my mum had to come and leave by a different entrance.
I hadn’t gone to Salvatore, when others around me had sped away, because I appreciated that I needed some time to think, however short that time might be.
‘Congratulations, Sera.’ Penny, a friend I’d made at university, clapped her hand on my shoulder, making me jump far more than it should have.
‘And to you, I know there were times when neither of us thought we’d make it.’ I looked behind me and grinned at her.
‘You were always going to make it. I don’t think anyone was more focussed on the task at hand than you… me on the other hand…’ She laughed exuberantly, caught up in the high that was graduation day. ‘Are your family here?’
‘Yes,’ I replied.
‘That’s a shame. I thought we could grab the chance to share a final bottle of wine together.’ I looked down as she revealed a bottle of white wine that she’d somehow kept hidden in her gown.
‘How the hell did you manage that?’ I questioned, laughing as an opportunity began to reveal itself.
‘You know me,’ she laughed.
‘I’d love to join you.’ I nodded at her enthusiastically. ‘My family know we’re celebrating at the Hilton, I’m sure they can find it without me.’
‘Hell, yeah they can… just send them a text.’
In my peripheral view, I could see Salvatore trying to make his way closer to me. The man stood at least a head above the people around him, making his frustration easy to read. The sea of people between us was making it difficult for him to move. His face was showing his impatience and as I watched him roll his lips over his teeth, I could sense he was about to lose his temper in his struggle to reach me.
Penny grabbed my hand in excitement and began to lead me to a side exit and to one of the many coaches the university had laid on to transfer us to the hotel. Seeing an unexpected gap in the direction we were heading, I took off in a slow run and dragged her behind me.
My heart accelerated as I understood I was really doing this; I was deliberately leaving him behind. I could almost feel his anger and my body trembled with pleasure in response.
Our coach pulled away just as Salvatore reached the tarmac of the carpark. His eyes found mine peering at him from inside the coach, just as Aldo and Bruno arrived at his side. The three of them stood there in a well-practised stance, looking every bit Italian mafia, and I had to suppress a nervous laugh. I was already a couple of gulps of wine in and riding high on the energy of the day, a high that I understood was partly to do with having him back in my life. Feeling an air of stubbornness engulf me, I lifted the bottle Penny had handed me in his direction, toasted him and gulped down another mouthful of the much too warm wine.
After watching my “your move” declaration, he placed his sunglasses over his eyes, straightened the front of his suit and crossed his arms over his chest, as he tipped his head back and stared down his nose as the coach I was sitting on pulled away. I couldn’t see what happened next, but could only imagine the language he was using as he gave his orders to his bodyguards.
I knew it would be short lived, but for this all too short moment in time, I relaxed back into my seat, drank Penny’s wine when it was offered and listened to her excited chatter about what she was planning on doing next.
I only hoped she wouldn’t expect me to confide the same, because I was too lost in my own thoughts of Salvatore to offer up anything that sounded remotely truthful. I only knew that since his arrival back in my life, I wanted him to be part of it once again. Our conversation had been brief, but I’d already surmised that he’d pushed me away because he had to, not because he wanted to. Given any sort of choice, I would accept only two years of life over twenty, if it meant I got to share them with him. It was a worrying and disconcerting realisation, but in the all too loud coach, I accepted it for what it was.
As the coach crawled through the streets of London that I loved so much and with Penny chatting happily in my ear, I made all the right listening noises. Truthfully though, my heart no longer resided here. I was here in body only; my heart and soul were already back on Italian soil. I could feel the caress of the breeze in my hair and the warmth of the sand beneath my bare feet.
But the overriding feeling that was sweeping through me and calming down the anger inside me, was one of completion and of destiny.
Salvatore was back in my life and ridiculously, I once again felt whole.
* * *
I’d quickly smiled my goodbye to one of my professors, after he’d stopped to offer me congratulations on my degree.
Thanking him for his guidance and help had been the easy part.
