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I felt a couple of slaps on my shoulders and some mumbled words as the other pallbearers filed out of the cramped space. It was obvious that they couldn’t wait to get away. Finally alone, I allowed my shoulders to slump forward momentarily. I hadn’t cried at her death. Instead, I’d rejoiced at the fact she was no longer in pain. The doctors were amazed that she’d carried on as long as she did. My coming of age had been all the permission she needed to allow herself to succumb to her illness. At eighteen, I couldn’t be put into care. Me reaching that milestone, meant she had fulfilled her promise to my mama, the one she’d spoken out loud as she’d prayed two weeks after my mama had been taken. I think she also understood that I wasn’t cut out to work the fields like a peasant for the rest of my life and she wouldn’t want to be around for the next chapters of my life, as I stepped on those who’d betrayed us and used their corpses as my ladder to the top.
‘Buonanotte, Nonna… grazie.’
I took a couple of steps backwards and looked around the antiquated but dilapidated crypt, before allowing my eyes to fall on the carved words that had been waiting for her.
LUCIANA RANIERI
BORN ~ 16TH AUGUST 1951
DIED ~
I took out my knife from the back of my left boot and began to carve the remaining script that was missing.
31ST OCTOBER 2008
Then, using the tip of my knife, I cut into my thumb and underlined the date with my blood. Not only was I laying her to rest, but I was also laying down my mama’s name. From now on, I was going to take the name of my father’s family.
‘What do you think you’re doing? This crypt is sacrosanct.’
I turned my head to find one of the priests from my grandmother’s church making the sign of the cross hurriedly over his body.
‘May you rest in peace, Luciana Ranieri and you too, Lia Ranieri,’ I whispered as I touched my hand to the cold stone shelf to the left of my grandmother’s; the empty shelf that bore the name of my mama. I cast my eyes over her name, hoping to feel a connection to a woman who had born and loved me until I was four years old, but instead of a warmth building inside my heart, all I felt was the same cold hatred I’d felt since I’d understood she would never be coming back.
LIA LUCIANA RANIERI
‘It’s time for you to leave the dead in peace, Ranieri.’ The priest spoke again, and I drew in a calming breath before closing my eyes and exhaling loudly. Dipping my head, I looked at a couple of weeds around my well-polished shoes and concluded I had a lot in common with the seeds that had snuck inside the mausoleum. Like me, they’d grown up where they shouldn’t have, where they weren’t really wanted. We’d both taken the meagre sustenance available and grown to be strong nonetheless.
‘Did you not hear me?’ the priest tried again.
Ignoring him, I bent over and brushed my fingers over the weeds. My eye was then taken to the ivy that was creeping its way into the small building. I knew the parasite would very soon attach itself to the weeds and extinguish their life, so I reached out to snag as much as I could. Still holding the handful of greenery, I stood up quickly and turned around to face the priest. My sudden movement found him making the sign of the cross over his body, again and again, as though he thought I was the devil himself.
And maybe I am?
‘And what of the missing and supposed dead, Padre?’
‘I know nothing of those you speak of, Ranieri.’ I heard the words he muttered and watched as he vehemently shook his head from side to side.
‘Of course, you don’t.’ I stepped into his personal space and stood as tall as the cramped space allowed. ‘And if I ever find out that you do, I’ll hang you up using that ornate chain you wear around your waist. I’ll lift your cassock and sever those balls you use far too frequently to ever be considered God’s servant on earth, then I’ll feed them to you and watch as you choke on your own flesh… Think onyoursins.’ Spittle left my mouth as I enunciated the last few words.
His face turned puce as my words filtered home, but disappointingly, I noted that I could see no recognition in his eyes at the words I’d spoken. Just to drive my point home, I wrapped my free hand around his neck, feeling the sweat he’d broken into under my fingertips and started to tighten my grip. His eyes began to widen, and he stopped making a cross, instead trying to slap my hands away with both of his. When enough fear filled his eyes, I released my grip on his neck and shoved the ivy I was holding into his wide-open mouth, stopping him from inhaling the oxygen he’d been deprived of.
‘I’m sure somewhere in the bible it reads an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth… well, you’ve just witnessed one parasite given to another parasite.’ Withdrawing my hand, I watched as he sank down to the ground, as he clawed at his mouth and spat out my gift.
Ignoring his choking and spluttering, I brushed my suit off with one hand and adjusted my shirt cuffs until an inch of white material could be seen, while I shook out the legs on my trousers. I knew that when I stepped back out into the daylight, I was going to be reborn and the plan I’d been formulating for revenge would commence. Those that saw me were going to be looking at the future and I wanted them to see me as strong and formidable. Once upon a time, the Ranieris had been a powerful family, but internal blood feuds had weakened them significantly and now they were reduced to scratching out an existence.
I was a Ranieri no longer.
The feeling of suffocation in the airless tomb made my chest begin to tighten and I understood that the time was right.
Stepping out of the crypt and into the bright sunlight, I opened my arms up wide and raised my face to the sky.
‘See me… SEE ME! Look upon me, for I am reborn.’
A few of the mourners turned towards me as my voice sounded out. ‘See me and kneel before me all those who have wronged me and mine… for I am reborn.’
CHAPTER FOUR
SERAFINA
