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I took a seat at the counter with her, she took my hand in hers and asked again, "What's wrong?"
I rolled my eyes. "How do you always know when something is wrong?"
She gave me a look as if to say, "child, please."
I knew I wouldn’t get out of telling her, so I sighed and shared, "Well. Do you want to hear about the part where my parents are selling my childhood home to fund their year apart from marriage for travel and sexcapade? Or do you want to hear about the part where I walked in on Theo getting fucked by his best friend, Peter? Oh, or how some pipes burst in my bakery and I have to close down for a couple of days."
Her mouth hit the counter. This was the first time I'd actually seen her speechless. After a second, she recovered and said, "I'm sorry. We will have to circle back to the parent and bakery things because the Theo and Peter thing has my attention."
Of course, it would. I gave her the cliff-notes version of what had happened in the last twenty-four hours. I finished by telling her I was moving in with the guys and how it was supposed to be temporary, but apparently, they had other plans.
She gave me a look. You know, the look where you're having dirty thoughts or want to say something dirty, that smirky face look. Yup. “What, spit it out.”
Alice leaned closer to me and whispered, "Isn't this kind of your dream situation? Living with both men? Men, you have a crush on?"
"Of course, this is where your mind has gone." I gave her a playful shove. I got off the stool and made my way over to where the guys had taken up residency in a corner booth.
Micah spotted me walking in their direction, he got up allowing me to slide between them. Alice followed and took our order. We all ordered some variation of a burger and a side of fries. Arthur's burgers were some of the best in town and their homemade fries, ugh, to die for.
We sat in silence for a moment while Alice walked away. Once she was out of ear shot Micah said, “What time does that fuckwit leave for work tomorrow?” His face contorted in anger. I knew he was never a fan of Theo, I never understood why. If I was being honest, I’d hope it was because he had feelings for me himself but maybe it was because of Asher. I mean, Asher kissed me, maybe Micah knew something I didn’t.
Micah placed a hand on my bare leg and stroked small circles with his thumb. We we're always hugging and touching each other, but this felt different. This small gesture felt more intimate than our normal affections for one another. Wait! Was he feeling possessive because he knew Asher and I kissed? No. That couldn’t be it. How would he even know?
I shook my head, pulling myself out of that rabbit hole of things I was probably overthinking. I turned and gave Micah my full attention and answered, “Theo usually leaves at eight thirty in the morning. Maybe we give him an extra thirty minutes and head over around nine? I don’t think I can face him yet.”
Asher reached for my hand on the table and gave it a small squeeze. “You never have to see him again, if you don’t want.”
Did I want that? I wasn’t sure. All I knew was right now my life had been turned upside down, first because of my parents and second, the man I thought I was going to have a future with, clearly had other plans. Was my whole relationship with Theo a lie?
I couldn’t even begin to walk through that minefield. “I think I will eventually want to talk to Theo. I mean we were together for over a year. I feel like I’m owed some kind of closure. But I’m defiantly not ready for that talk to be tomorrow.”
The guys talked the logistics of tomorrow as I zoned out. My head was swimming with all of the issues from today. Damn, I really wished my buzz from early didn’t fade.
Alice arrived with our amazing smelling food in hand. She didn’t stay to chat, as several groups of college kids tumbled into the door.
The guys and I sat in a comfortable silence as we devoured our burgers and homemade fries. In the beginning when I started hanging out with Micah, whenever we went out to eat, I would always eat something light because I either ate something before we went out or when I got back to my dorm.
Once Micah made a comment to me, “Why the hell do you only eat an appetizer or salad whenever we are out? And don’t give me that you’re not hungry bullshit. Is it because we sometimes eat late or you don’t like the restaurants I pick?” He wasn’t being mean; I think he was genuinely trying to understand.
We hadn’t been friends for very long, but I felt safe and confident when I was with Micah. My eating habits were so ingrained in me, I didn’t even realize I did it. “No, not that. I, umm.” I struggled to find the words before I finally blurted out, “Ugh. Micah look at me. I’m not exactly skinny. And you…” I trailed off.
He gave me a hard look before gritting out, “I what.”
This was it. I was going to tell him what I thought of him and then I was going to lose him as a friend. I sighed and said, “Micah, you’re hot as shit. You’ve got abs for days, arms as big as my head and I’m pretty sure you could bench press a bus. You’re not supposed to be friends or want to hang out with someone like me. I’m soft. I have rolls instead of abs. I have cellulite on my legs and stretch marks. You probably don’t even notice all the people that stare and whisper when we walk into a room together, but I do. I hear their comments about…How could he be friends with her? Why does he hang around her so much? I would never fuck someone that heavy.”
The more I talked the angrier Micah got, but he sat and listened to everything I said. “Listen Micah, I’m used to this. It’s been like this almost all my life. I’m the fat friend. I don’t need to make it worse by stuffing my face with a burger or eating half a pizza.”
Micah stood from my bed and backing me against the door. He held one hand on my hip and the other held my chin. Seething he said, “You fucking listen to me Harper Woods. I don’t give a flying fuck what other people think. And if I ever hear anyone talking shit about you, I will beat them into the fucking ground. You are beautiful. You may not like your body, but I sure as fuck do. I love that you’re not all fucking skin and bones and if I wanted to fuck you, I’d actually have something to hold on to. And trust me, if I didn’t value our friendship, I’d fuck you right now to prove my point. You are an amazing woman Harper but so help me God, if I ever hear you talk about yourself like this again, I will put you over my knee and spank the shit out of you. Do I make myself clear?”
Holy. Fucking. Shit. Did he just say he’d fuck me?
Okay, that was probably not what I should have taken away from his little declaration, but when a man like Micah was attracted to a girl like me, that was the only thing I could focus on. I couldn’t even respond to him, so I nodded my head yes.
His eyes softened and he dropped the hand holding my chin in place. We stared at one another, neither of us moving. I swore he could see my heart beating out of my chest. After another moment, Micah leaned forward and for a split second, I thought he was going to kiss me. I mean that was how it worked in romance books and movies right? There was a passionate declaration and then a brief silence before the two people embraced in an equally passionate kiss.
But as life liked to remind me, my life was not a romance book. Micah kissed my forehead and pulled me into him. He held me close as he whispered, “Babe, you’re my best friend, I can’t lose you.”
And in that moment, I knew Micah and I would never be anything more than best friends.
