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I took a breath and walked over to give him the spoon I’d been using. “Keep an eye on it, will you? I’ll be out in ten.”
“Be quick. The plan wasn’t for me to cook tonight.” His words landed on my back as I darted into our bedroom. Well, sort of ours. I had a lot of clothes and toiletries in the house, but nothing that truly said this was a shared space. Preston kept saying we would make the big move of all of my things to his apartment after graduation. I just needed to focus on my final project, my final exams, and getting across that stage. After graduation, well after, is when Preston and I would work on us.
Dinner went the way things normally did. Meals with Preston were efficient. We ate. We cleaned. I went off to study. He went off to do grading.
Annie, my mom, Aunt Hattie, and Ms. Eileen showed up in true southern belle fashion. The summer hats weren’t Hollywood, but they were fabulous in their own way. Mother didn’t do anything small. They’d rented a convertible and pulled into the parking lot of my apartment complex laughing loudly and struggling with way too many bags for a long weekend. I heard them before I saw them. I loved my garden apartment and the easy access I had to the lot. Sliding the door open, I called out to them, and Annie ran and jumped on me as soon as I was over the threshold.
“You left me with the crazy ladies! I promise you, we are going to end up on an episode of Jump Seat Chronicles! We are going to go viral because there is no way that poor flight attendant in first class will soon recover from the breakfast service from hell.”
“You must tell me it all, in detail, with full reenactment. Help me with the bags, freak.”
“Freak!” she squealed and ran back to the car. Mother and the aunties were bossing her as soon as she got in earshot. God love Annie, she’d grown up with these women and being run-around by them was something she took in stride.
The ceremony was hot, long, and fun. We took too many pictures. I introduced them to everyone I even remotely made contact with during my four years, which made not introducing them to my boyfriend a glaring oversight.
Preston was a no-show the entire weekend. His excuses were endless. He always reminded me to have fun and enjoy my family, yet he never showed up. Luckily for me, Annie was the best distraction. We took out Mama's convertible and went to every tourist attraction we could find. For the most part, it was perfect. It wasn’t until we were unloading things in front of the terminal that she let me have it.
“I can’t leave without telling you the truth. Your boyfriend sucks ass!”
“Better than you know. What’s your point?”
“Security is going to kick us out of here, so shut it. He missed out on your whole special weekend. He missed out on meeting the most important people in your life. This is not a joke, Hayes. I don’t like leaving you here with an asshole who clearly has no issue with abandoning you. Now, you may speak.”
I pulled her into a hug and held on. When we released, I looked her in the eye and told her words I struggled to believe myself.
“I got this, Annie. Preston and I are good. He’s not great with the group stuff, but he loves me, and I am committed to working it out. What am I going to do? You don’t break up with someone over one weekend and you don’t break up with someone and then go and work for their father.”
“You goofy romantic fool. Okay, do you, boo. You know I’m just a phone call away if you need me. I love you.”
After watching them go through those automatic doors, I was ready to head home to Preston and start the next leg of the journey on my west coast adventure.
That was the last positive moment I actually had in California. Shit went downhill from there. I dropped off the rental car and when Preston didn’t answer my call, I had to take a rideshare. I went to his apartment, but instead of finding Preston there, I found a box of my things and a note sitting outside the door whose locks no longer opened with my keys.
The note was shitty and brief, but left no room for misinterpretation. Things were over.
Dear Hayes,
For the last two months, I've had a strong urge to adjust some aspects of my life. Of course, I know that you love me—and that you'll understand totally. Having said that, I’ve gone to Costa Rica for the summer to renew myself. And I know that you'll support me 100%. I wouldn’t want you to be held back waiting for me. Spread your wings and find your place in the world. My dad will understand that you couldn’t possibly work with him now. You are a brilliant designer who will absolutely make your mark.
Preston
Another rideshare and twenty minutes later I was back at my place. I hid there for a week before I couldn’t put off the inevitable any longer. I called Annie and left the saddest voicemail ever. She called me back as soon as she got home from work, and I told her everything. After telling me I told you so in as many ways as she could think of, that beautiful best friend of mine bought me a ticket home. When all else fails, home is what you have left. Her words, not mine. I was going home to South Carolina and the life I’d hoped to leave behind for good.
Chapter 1
Hayes
The window was open and the breeze coming through was slight and subtle. South Carolina breezes in the early morning were like a beautiful woman in a little black dress—understated beauty. It wasn’t too hot yet, and the blanket of humidity wasn’t oppressive this time of day. Gardens in the neighborhood perfumed the air with multiple floral notes that worked in concert to create the scent that was uniquely low country. It was uniquely Charleston. Mother always said there was nothing beautiful about how our people arrived here, but African Americans were vital to the tapestry that was the beauty of the low country. Her words, not mine.
What wasn’t beautiful was hearing my mother’s voice breaking the surface of my early morning solitude. I wanted to scream out loud, “Shut the hell up, woman! I’ll get up when I’m ready.”
Only two things kept that little outburst in my head and not bouncing off the walls of my childhood bedroom. One, I could not afford to piss her off. Frankly, I had no place else to go that wouldn’t be a desperate crash pad of one of my old classmates. And two was the fact that my mother would push for way more than once-a-week therapy. Random, emotional outbursts were not a sign of stability. She’d be convinced that things were far worse than I’d let on. It would end up being her justification for sending me away for some quiet in-patient time. I wasn’t trying to scare her, and I didn’t need her making a big deal over nothing because she happened to give birth to a child who turned into a twenty-two-year-old drama queen.
Lying in bed wasn’t exactly giving me comfort, either. Who could find comfort on a twin-sized bed with a quilt that was made by their grandma and smelled a little bit like her, pulled up to their chin, while surrounded by a shelf full of Lego models, model planes, and posters of Taylor Swift? Regression was not a cute look on me. But what the hell was I supposed to do? When you break up with your boyfriend—code for he dumped my ass right after graduation—and lose the job prospect you lined up with said boyfriend’s father’s company, how were you supposed to feel?
“Hayes, you are not spending another full day in bed feeling sorry for yourself.”
I could hear her exasperation and the huge huff she let out before lowering her final boom. “If you are not downstairs for breakfast, fully dressed and prepared for the day, I will call Dr. Leone for an emergency visit. No excuses!”
