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Again, I took in the laughter of the Outreach. The good that happened inside the walls of all the buildings that made up the center. I’d needed this, and if I was lucky, I’d get one more look at Cass before I headed home later that night. I sensed I fascinated him, but there was also my own newly acquired insecurity of what would the beautiful younger man want with a silver-haired old man. One day I’d get my shit together, and I hoped it was soon because I was tired of no longer feeling like the man I’d made of myself in my fifty-five years.
Chapter 4
Cass
Wyatt. The sexy silver fox’s name was Wyatt. I banged my head down onto my desk. What was with me losing the ability to speak in front of the man? He probably thought I was an idiot. Or did he?
He’d called me honey four times, and each one felt like fingers stroking over my heart, easing the pain that had resided in my chest since the knock on my door that changed my life. What was it about him? I still saw shadows in the depths of those deep gray irises, but today there’d also been kindness and something else…something…warmer.
And the way he’d talked to me, so softly—almost tenderly. Did that have something to do with his Daddy nature? One thing I’d come to appreciate about all the Daddies and boys around here was how proud and confident they were with the dynamics of their relationships. Some of them might have struggled with other things, but their roles as Daddy or boy, or even bratty boy, sure wasn’t one of them.
Wyatt intrigued me even more knowing that he owned who he was the same way. Hell, everything about Wyatt drew me in, and I didn’t know if I was ready for that. Ready to consider moving on or ready to examine my thoughts of myself as a boy.
A quick glance at the clock confirmed that I’d lost over an hour replaying my interaction with Wyatt and imagining new ones, and it was time to pull myself together for my next patient, Janelle. My life might have fallen apart within a breath, but it wouldn’t be put back together that easily. I’d need time to search my soul before I opened myself up to someone new.
Like at the end of each session, Janelle hovered next to my desk. “Can I, uh—”
She cut off and threw herself at me with a thump when I stood up and opened my arms to her. She’d been one of my very first patients when I’d joined the dedicated team at the Outreach. Maybe I shouldn’t have favorites, but she’d wormed her way into my heart almost immediately.
The physical trauma she’d endured at the hands of her father, then her husband, and then later her own son, was only superseded by the mental abuse they’d dished out. Their cruelty might have broken someone else, but she’d fought through it. Continued to battle her way up from under the manipulation and lies they’d told her to control her.
“Thanks, Cass.”
I gave her an extra squeeze before letting her go. “It’s my pleasure, Janelle. You know my door is always open to you.”
She grinned. “I know, and I appreciate it.”
It was no surprise when Janelle opened the door to see Boss leaning against the wall across from my office, waiting. He greeted the older woman with a hug and then entered my little sanctuary and closed the door behind him.
“Uh, hello, Boss. Can I help you?”
He tilted his head and searched my face with his shrewd gaze. “I think the more relevant question right now is, can I help you?”
Clearing my throat, I thought quickly. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that he was here to discuss my bizarre reaction to Wyatt, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to talk about that yet.
Plus, as inappropriate as things sometimes got around this place between the various couples—especially Boss and Sharp—Boss was still, quite literally, my boss. It seemed more than a touch out of bounds to speak with my employer about all the confusing scenarios swirling around in my mind.
“No, I don’t think so.”
Boss raised an eyebrow. “Really?” The way he frowned at me let me know his bullshit meter was going off, and he was disappointed in me.
With a shake of my head, I dug in. “Nope. Everything’s good here. I have a couple of late patients today, so it’ll be a long one, but other than that…”
He blew out a deep breath and shrugged. “Okay, have it your way. Is there a reason you were looking for me earlier?”
“Oh yeah, I had an idea. What if we partner some of the older members around here with some of the younger generation, who never had anyone to teach them the basic skills they need to survive? Last week Janelle couldn’t get out of here fast enough because little Lucy Grande’s toddler was sick, so she’d made her a big pot of homemade chicken noodle soup. Two weeks before that, she headed to Grady Driscoll’s apartment straight from here to help him wash his blinds in the bathtub.”
Boss and I exchanged a smile. Grady had never had a place of his own to call home, so he treated the tiny shoebox apartment Boss had set him up in like a castle. Never had I seen someone so proud and conscientious of their apartment.
“So what you’re suggesting is a buddy system where the older generation can pass down their wisdom?”
“Exactly.” Leaning forward, I rested my forearms on top of the pile of papers on my desk. “And think of what it will do for people like Janelle. They’ll get to really bond and see the contributions they’re making to their person. I think it’ll be a win-win.”
Boss’ eyes narrowed on me. “And you have time to head this up, too? I’m not sure you need one more project to keep you busy, Cass. Don’t be like I was for so long, drowning myself in this place to keep the loneliness at bay. What we do is important, but…until Sharp, I didn’t realize just how out of balance my life had become.”
The limitless well of feelings and emotions that Boss had for every person he encountered always astounded me. Being on the receiving end of it reminded me why volunteers and donors, and anyone else who spent time here, caved to Boss’ every wish. His authentic sincerity made everyone feel special. He made me feel special.
I held up one hand. “Don’t worry. I’d oversee it, but I was thinking I’d ask Janelle to help me get the older folks on board and make some matches.”
