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She sighed happily as she nestled in and threw the lap blanket over her legs. “Brayleigh has the best mom. There’s no doubt in my mind about that.” Her face shone with pride. “But she also has me. And Ava. And Minty. Who is truly lovely, by the way!”
I smiled at the second reference to Minty. There was something about that girl that drew you in.
“And she has Darcy, and Dani, and Tracy, and her many cousins. You’ve made a beautiful family for her. And if things work out between you and Ares, married or not, his little one will be Brayleigh’s sister.
“It’s funny,” she continued, her eyes drifting into the past. “I thought I needed to be everything for you. In fact, I took pride in not needing anyone else. I really didn’t have a community of women.” She snorted out a laugh. “I didn’t trust anyone to let them get close.”
“It’s not too late,” I suggested, then grimaced. “But it’s hard to find the good ones.”
“It always is. You need to mine past the petty jealousies in your own heart before you can hope to reach the core of someone else’s.”
“And that’s not easy.”
“It’s not. But, peaches, my point is you seem to have conquered that. Your dad was everything to me. Growing up the way I did, I didn’t have a father’s unconditional love, a mother’s tender nurturing, or an extended family to encourage me. Your dad was all those things to me, as well as lover, best friend, and the father of my child.
She continued, “It was a big ask. But he rose to the occasion.”
My mother had never spoken to me about her past. I held my tongue, willing her to say more. She had wisdom to share. Insight I likely dismissed over and over.
I wouldn’t make the same mistake again.
She looked at me and sighed. “It wasn’t always easy for him.” Her pretty mouth twisted. “God knows I hurt him before I allowed myself to accept the love he offered. Some people come into adulthood without the proper foundation.
“I guess I’m amazed that you don’t need to be all things for Brayleigh. You’re a wonderful mother and you’ve surrounded her with strong, fierce women who have her back. And will take yours as well.” She leaned toward me; her brow furrowed, and spoke fervently. “I wish I could have given you that. But you got it, right? With Lucky’s mom? With his family?”
I rushed to reassure her. “I did, Mom. I didn’t suffer. And you gave me all of you.”
Her shoulders relaxed, and her expression eased. Her big baby blues regarded me with a mixture of challenge and sorrow. “That’s the thing, peaches. Ares? He’s like me. And he’s going to need all of you.”
The Grand Poobah
Hope
I needed a plan.
After an early breakfast of champions consisting of hot chocolate and cookies, I went upstairs to pack my things. If I left now, I’d have time to go home, unpack, work out, and shower before heading to Lucky’s to pick up Brayleigh.
Take the good.
By my calculations, Ares and Sia should have landed sometime last night. Before they left, Ares texted their itinerary. They had a second flight to catch, then a two-hour taxi ride. He told me he’d miss me and would contact me in a few days.
A few days.
I needed to know they got there safe and sound, and he was cutting off communication for a few days?
He’s going to need all of you.
My mom was right. In every situation, I saw it. He even gave me the words.
I’m broken.
Half a man.
I don’t know how to parent.
I don’t know how to boyfriend.
I don’t trust myself.
