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Four weeks since I deregistered from university.
Three days since I called Vander and told him I wouldn’t be coming back.
Two days since Vander showed up at my door.
Pure, unadulterated joy suffused my entire body when I opened the front door to find Vander on my doorstep. Dark, thick, wavy hair pushed back off his high forehead. Perfect lips curved in a smile, eyes alight. I stared gape-mouthed into his smiling face, certain I conjured him from my wildest dreams.
He grinned and opened his arms. I leaped, knocking him back several steps. He laughed and squeezed me tight as he stumbled to keep us upright. I wrapped my legs and arms around him, and tucked my face into his strong neck.
“What are you doing here?” I finally asked, leaning back in his arms, my heart in my eyes.
He tightened his arms around me, and his face softened. “I had to see you for myself, make sure you were okay.” He took a breath, his eyes boring into mine. “I also wanted to talk to you in person. I think you’re making a mistake, Ruby-mine.”
I closed my tired eyes and pressed my forehead against his.
“How long can you stay?” I asked softly. I needed to mentally prepare myself to say goodbye in person. It would, I knew, be infinitely more difficult than it was over the phone.
“Two days, Ruby-mine. Two days to convince you to come back with me.”
Over the two painfully perfect days we had together, I delayed the conversation as long as possible. It was not difficult, especially when I already knew the outcome.
Vander and I worked side-by-side at Spuds over the weekend. Spuds, the tiny restaurant my pappou and yiayia opened four decades before. It funded Amber’s and my childhood since I was ten years old, when my father died, and my mother checked out. It clothed us, fed us, paid for our schooling and extracurriculars. In short, Pappou funded our childhood instead of his and Yiayia’s retirement.
I knew, from looking through the paperwork, that there was no way the three of us who were left could survive without one of us manning Spuds full-time. Yiayia couldn’t do it on her own.
Amber, being in the final year of her undergrad, had never wavered in what she aimed to do with her life. In fact, she had already applied for her Masters, while I still had little clue what I wanted to do. I couldn’t let her quit when she was so close.
Vander and I laughed more than we worked, and I wondered if it had been like that for Pappou and Yiayia when they worked there together. Vander got a taste of the business, but he didn’t clue in to all the financial ramifications of my decision to run it. I waited until Monday morning, while he got ready to leave, to explain it to him.
With my yiayia at Spuds doing the prep work for the day, and Amber already at school, I sat him down in our tiny kitchen and lay out the facts.
He could not deny my points, but stubbornly refused to accept my decision. At a stalemate, tired from arguing, and heartbroken over our looming separation, I stood and pulled him into my bedroom.
Standing at opposite sides of the bed, we undressed, our eyes locked on each other’s. Goose pimples raced across my flesh. That old house never could hold the heat. Vander slid into the bed first and held the covers open for me.
I crawled in, and he immediately scooped me under him, covering me with his long, lean body. He parted my thighs with his and rested his pelvis in the cradle of mine. With his elbows braced on either side of my shoulders, he cradled my head gently between his big palms.
He dipped his head and kissed me. His kiss felt hesitant, unsure, a question, like the first time.
I parted my lips under his, inviting him in, and he slanted his sweet mouth across mine. His hands tightened around my head. He rocked his hips, sliding his erection through my wetness, nudging my clit.
Pulling my knees up, I hooked my ankles around his thighs. I dragged my hands up his sides and wrapped my arms around his strong back.
My mind flew once again through the facts, searching for a nonexistent loophole, so I could hold this beautiful man. Coming up with nothing, it hit me that this would probably be our last time together.
Grief wrapped her fist around my heart and squeezed. I sobbed into his mouth.
He pulled back, a heavy sheen covering his own eyes, and kissed the tears that escaped my closed lids.
“Ruby-mine,” he whispered. “We’ll find a way. I promise.”
I couldn’t see how, but I didn’t argue. Instead, I pulled his dark head closer and kissed him with all the love I had in my heart. I tipped my hips to allow him entrance, and he plunged inside with a sigh.
“I can’t give you up, Ruby-mine,” he whispered, his lips trembling against mine.
The tears abated as our kisses became more desperate, and he ramped up his pace inside me. I curled my legs around his and cried out his name, shattering around him as my heart splintered into a million tiny pieces.
He tucked his face into my neck as he came, and my mind clung to the exquisite perfection of him pulsing with life inside me. I pressed my cheek against his temple and held him tight, counting the minutes until I had to let him go.
