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I swiveled in my chair and woke up my laptop.
“Hope?”
Maeve stood just outside her doorway, waving for me to come to her office.
It hadn’t been that long since we’d last spoken about the changes she hoped were in the works. Had things progressed? Did she get a new job? Was she leaving the company? Questions pummeled my brain.
If this was the big change, I wasn’t ready.
She welcomed me in and quietly closed the door. “Please have a seat.”
I took the closest chair while she circled around and sat behind her desk. Folding her hands together on her desk, she met my eyes steadily. Then sighed. “I’m a terrible feminist.”
I laughed at the incongruency of her statement.
She smirked in response then finally dug in. “I’m leaving at the end of the month. I decided only about an hour ago and you are only the second to know.”
End of the month. What?“Where are you going?”
My mind spun with possibilities, including following her if she was in a position to offer me a job.
She dipped her head with a smile. “That’s what makes me a terrible feminist, but we’ll circle back to that after we discuss the job.” She sighed. “I don’t want you to take it.”
“Why not?” I whispered.
“Because it will eat you alive.” She stared into space for a moment before continuing. “It’s exciting and wonderful and your ego will thank you for it when the accolades roll in. You’ll meet interesting people. You’ll also deal with the crude and the crass which will invariably toughen you. The money is excellent. Your kid will be able to go to whatever college or university she wants.” She brushed an invisible speck of dust off her skirt. “Which is great if she’s still talking to you by that time.” She lifted her chin and met my eyes. “Or she could be like mine and have absolutely zero inclination to share anything about her life with you.”
My mouth fell open in shock because never in the past five years had Maeve ever given any indication that she had a child. “I didn’t know you had a child,” I murmured.
She shrugged. “She’s an adult, now. I’m her ATM.” Looking down, she gently tugged at an errant thread on her sweater. “I could stop financing her, but that was the deal I made when she was too young to agree to it. It would be unfair to take it away because I don’t like the results of my neglect. I don’t want to see you make the same mistake.”
“Did you have support?”
She shook her head. “Nannies only. Far too many over the years. Perhaps if I’d hired an older woman she might have stuck around, but I had the idea that younger nannies might also serve as playmates.” Her mouth twisted. “A role I should have played.”
“I have a wonderful partner,” I volunteered. I didn’t want to hurt her further, but I continued. “I hear exactly what you’re saying. I don’t want the picture you’re painting. But I also can’t walk away from a career I might love without at least trying.”
Her smile expressed both sadness and pride. “I’ll fight to get it for you so long as you promise me one thing.”
Excitement sparked in my stomach. “Name it.”
She leaned toward me, her gaze intent. “If the job or ratface become too much, you call me.”
I huffed out a nervous laugh at her usage of the contraband nickname.
She looked at me steadily and I realized she was waiting for my promise before continuing. I dipped my head. “I’ll talk to you if things become too much.”
She took a deep breath. “Too much means the job is too much. It could also mean he is too much. Either way, talk to me first before lodging a formal complaint against him or resigning. Should that happen, I won’t think a mite less of you.” She smiled sadly. “In fact, I might just respect you that little bit more for having the courage to challenge what I never did.”
Her revelations rocked the foundation of my hero worship. For the first time, I regarded her as a mere flesh and blood woman, and briefly entertained the thought that I might be striving toward the wrong goal.
That kind of thinking ventured perilously close to the box of dreams I’d packed, sealed, and tucked away. I reminded myself of my lack of alternatives. Besides, while I wasn’t sure this job was the answer, I knew without a doubt my mother’s life was not for me.
No man-babies.
No life of service and self-sacrifice.
No betrayal of personal goals.
