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I waved away his words. “No, no, Lucky. You guys are new and of course you need more privacy, more time. I love that you found Minty, but I’m running out of hope for myself. And focussing on that, pinning my dreams on that…it’s a slow bleed. I need something else. I need more. I’d like to find someone to love me. I’d love to find someone to love us, but it’s shit out there. And I’m not like you. You didn’t even know you wanted love until you met Minty. I’ve always wanted it, and it’s completely outside my control. Beyond my reach. I need to find fulfillment elsewhere.”
“I understand.”
I looked up. “You do?”
He shrugged. “Of course. Hope.” He spread his hands wide. “You’re so damn talented! Take the job if you want it. We’ll work it out. Between the three of us, we’ll work it out.” He stood up and yelled. “Minty, Hope is staying for lunch. You want to order in?”
Over lunch, Lucky filled Minty in on the details, and she assured him she was open to whatever arrangement worked best for Brayleigh. Then I packed Brayleigh into the car and headed for my next stop, hoping against hope that I’d find at least some of the encouragement Lucky and Minty lavished on me.
Brayleigh fell asleep on the drive to my parents, affording me precious minutes I sorely needed to prepare for the conversation ahead.
I sat in my parents’ driveway and looked over the quiet street.
At one time, the houses were better classed as cottages. Over the years, additions, renovations, and rebuilds transformed the face of the neighbourhood. I swore I could mark off the developmental stages of my childhood based on our own renovations. A sunroom when I started school. A covered porch a few years later. A half floor added to the bungalow to house a master bedroom and ensuite bath when I hit my teens. Right after my parents got back together. A swimming pool and a new deck the following summer. Games room in the basement. Our house grew as I did.
Trees that began as spindly sticks proudly lined the boulevard, their leaves flashed various shades of burnished sunlight against the cold, grey sky. I blasted the heat in the car, stealing extra time to mentally prepare myself.
Movement on the porch caught my eye. I tensed until I saw it was my dad. He jogged down the steps and across the lawn, a concerned smile on his face.
I rolled down my window. “Hi, Dad.”
“Hi, peaches.” Leaning one hand against the roof, he cocked his head to the side. “You look worried.”
“Um…” I stalled. “Apprehensive might be a better word.”
“Why?”
“I got the promotion,” I whispered.
Emotions flickered over his face too quickly for me to read. “The one with all the travel?”
My stomach clenched. “Yes.”
He turned his head to briefly scan the street before turning back to me. “Is it what you want?”
Before I could answer, he continued. “You know I traveled with my job. A lot. It caused a great deal of stress at times. It’s not something I wanted for you, but I also wasn’t doing a job that made me as happy as yours makes you.”
Never once had it occurred to me that my dad didn’t like his job.
“You didn’t like your job, Dad?”
He shook his head. “I didn’t say that. I’m grateful for the opportunities it afforded us, and I was good at it. But you love fashion. You’ve got a passion for fashion,” he teased.
I dipped my chin with a grin. “I do,” I agreed.
He patted the roof of the car. “What do you say we get that baby into the house, and you can tell your mother your news.” He laughed at the expression on my face and ruffled my hair. “Best you just rip this bandage off quick.”
Unfortunately, that particular bandage stuck fast. Its slow, painful removal sending tiny shocks of pain with every theoretical hair it yanked out.
“I’m just saying, you didn’t like it when dad traveled, so why would you want to give that kind of life to Brayleigh?”
“Don’t you want to settle down eventually? You’re not going to find a man if you’re gallivanting all over the continent!”
“I know you love your job. I know you’re good at it. But it’s not like you’re out there saving lives. Is it worth leaving Brayleigh so often? Disrupting her routine?”
No matter how softly she voiced her objections, each one pierced my heart.
Of course, I wanted to settle down, but it did not appear to be in the cards. Waiting around like a wallflower was not my style. And the constant string of failures and rejections were wreaking havoc with my self-esteem.
