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Reaching out to rest my hand on his forearm, I tugged him to a stop. “I’m so sorry-”
He immediately cut me off. “As you said, I’ve been insufferably rude to you. Let’s call it even.”
My shoulders relaxed. Perhaps we could forge some semblance of peace between us. I gave him a gentle squeeze and was about to suggest we meet for a drink to go over the itinerary for the next few days when he continued.
“You stay out of my way, and I promise you I’ll do my level best to stay out of yours.”
He dropped his arm and took a deliberate step back. Passing me the long handle of my carry-on, he strode away, leaving me with my mouth hanging open.
Again.
The next morning, I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, his words a not-so-distant echo in my head.
“You can do this.”
I compressed my lips tightly and nodded to myself before bouncing up to the balls of my feet.
Jab jab. I punched the air in front of me. I’d never hit anyone in my entire life.
“You’re ready.”
Jab jab. Huh. I took in my fighter’s form in the mirror. I looked pretty good.
“You got this.”
Jab jab. Maybe I should take up boxing. Kickboxing?
“Don’t let the motherfuckers get you down.”
Jab jab. Not sure where all these motherfuckers are hiding. Ha ha. If only I could find one. My face soured. Not on this trip. Not with the panty police around.
“This is your shot.”
Jab jab. That was true. This was my shot at a better life. For myself. For Brayleigh.
I huffed out a breath and grabbed my antiperspirant to add another layer. I gave myself a serious look. “You need to exercise more.” Finger guns out, I shot my reflection as I backed away from the mirror. “But you still look good.”
I did look good. I knew that and didn’t see the point of false modesty. But it didn’t mean much to me. My Barbie doll visage and metabolic genes were both blessing and curse.
Career-wise, they were mostly a curse. I’d studied the women around me who succeeded in my industry and concluded that only those who fit within certain precisely measured parameters were taken seriously.
Not too curvy, not too thin. Tall was good, but never taller than your male boss. Modest bust. Humble derriere. Not too smiley, but no frowns allowed. Composed.
Whatever. I’d never be composed.
Or any of those things.
I was an anomaly, but I was still doing it.
That alone was a win.
Ares
I settled into the space behind the lens. Every atom of my being submitted to my will as I battled the changing light, the shadows, and the wind, constantly shifting to capture the perfect angles.
The models were experienced and professional.
I’d long since lost any interest in them personally. To me, they were nothing more than a canvas off of which to bounce the light.
