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My shoulders slumped. I grumbled, “If this is the fallout, maybe it doesn’t matter how good it was.”
Lucky laughed and sat down at the kitchen table, motioning for me to do the same. “She’s a diva.” He shrugged, then laughed. “Between the two of us, how could she not be?”
Seeing his words did not have the desired affect, he continued. “She’ll get used to it. She’ll have to. You deserve this. You’ve worked hard for this.”
Ignoring his words even as I felt them shore up the cracks in my resolve, I answered his earlier question. “It was good. Exciting. The photographer is genius. I adore my new assistant. The set was spotless, and the location couldn’t be beat. You and Minty should go there on vacation. It’s beautiful.”
Brayleigh lifted her head up and peered at me over her shoulder. “Mama.”
I held out my hands. “Come here, Tweetie. Mama missed you so much.”
She leaned into my hands, and I scooped her close. The familiar press of her fingertips into the back of my neck brought an unfamiliar ache and a prickling warmth to my eyes.
Her body curled around me. I nuzzled my nose into her hair and filled my lungs with her baby scent.
“I missed you,” I murmured into her neck, the vibrations making her laugh.
She settled easily back into routine, and I began to relax. Perhaps I’d overreacted. Then Tuesday hit and she started fussing for Lucky. I wondered if this was how she’d behaved when I was gone. A quick text confirmed this was the case.
Lucky and Minty came over for dinner, Brayleigh got her daddy fix, and settled. After almost three years of near the same routine, she knew she switched between us approximately every three days. A week made a huge difference.
Grammy wholeheartedly agreed.
“Of course, she misses you. You’re her mother!”
I took her to my parents on Wednesday, hoping a visit with Grammy and Grampy would serve as a good distraction. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of sharing my theory about her mood.
“Technically, she’s missing Lucky right now,” I replied.
“Children need both of their parents. When you and Lucky were living out of each other’s pockets, she almost had that. Now, she loses you for an entire week. Every other week.”
I swallowed my anxiety. And my words.
“Hang on a second.” She took out her phone and flipped through her screens. “Ah, yes. I was reading about the effects of growing up in a single parent household.”
Shock and hurt wrapped their double fist around my throat, but she didn’t notice. Instead, she turned the phone toward me.
“See? Higher rate of poverty, lower marks in school, lower levels of post-secondary education-”
I gently but firmly pushed her phone away from my face. “Mom, do you really think this is helpful?”
“Well, sure?” Her eyes skittered over my face, compassion and concern evident in equal measure. “Isn’t it good to have the facts? It’s not like it’s too late to change things back to how they were. That was better than nothing.”
“Nothing.” My voice was flat. “You think I’m giving her nothing? Just because I’m not giving her what you gave me doesn’t mean it amounts to nothing!”
She reached a beseeching hand toward me. “You can’t do everything, peaches. Not well.”
I stood abruptly. My voice began to rise along with my guilt and my blood pressure. “No, Mom. You couldn’t do everything. I can. I will. I have to. I don’t have a husband or a full-time family. I need this.”
“Maureen!” My dad bellowed from the living room. “Grab me a beer, honey. Then come see Brayleigh. She’s taking apart your plants.”
My mom shot off the chair while I sat back down to gather myself.
My mother’s laughter rang out from the other room alongside my dad’s low baritone. “What do you mean she’s taking apart my plants? She’s just looking!”
Her voice dropped, and I could no longer make out the low murmurs.
I grabbed a beer out of the fridge for my dad and joined them in the living room where, thankfully, the subject was dropped.
