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As a kid, I never liked game night. Mom, Dad, and I would choose a game and play. I wasn’t the kind of kid who wanted to sit down and play Monopoly, but whenever Dad took out a puzzle, usually the ones that would take a week to put together with over a thousand pieces, I was the first one at the table. I’m the puzzle master. That’s what Dad called me.
NINE
Mom, It’s Me, Sabrina
SABRINA
Zeke’s great company. He’s funny and kind. He’s also protective. He’s not as intense as Alex, but then again, I’m not sure anyone reaches the same level of intensity as my handsome guy.
My guy! Sometimes I think I’m dreaming. I should pinch myself to make sure this is real. I remember the look in his eyes when he told me he loved me. I wanted to time to stop so I could capture the moment forever.
Last night when he was helping me undress, he was so gentle, and yet his touch sent shivers down my spine. When I’m with Alex, the world seems safe, the sun shines brighter, and I feel like I can do anything.
Even through my night terrors, he was patient and shared a part of his own life. My heart broke when Alex spoke about his parents and his loss. I felt his hurt, his anger, all of it. After he shared, I knew he’d understand my fears, and when he brought up seeing a counselor, explaining how much it had helped him through his tragedy, I decided I was going to ask for her number.
Taking control back is the key to moving forward. I thought I was managing, but now I know I was barely surviving. I had an apartment, a job, a new friend, but I was burying my feelings deep. I got through the day, but the nights were the worst. The best sleep I’ve ever had is with Alex beside me.
The door opening abruptly takes me out of my thoughts, and I jump up into a sitting position on the sofa. Zeke looks over and says, “Fuck, Alex, you scared her.” Zeke comes over and sees me wide-eyed. “Sorry, Bri. I should have warned you I saw his car coming up the drive.”
“It’s not your fault I’m a scared rabbit,” I tell him, forcing a grin. “I’ll get it in check.” Zeke picks up his keys and shouts goodbye on his way out the door.
That’s when Alex says, “You have every right to be nervous. What happened shouldn’t have happened. You matter, buttercup. To all of us, but especially to me.” He drops his jacket onto the arm of the sofa and takes a seat next to me. He takes a lock of my hair that’s worked itself out of the ponytail and curls it behind my ear. “Have you eaten since I left?”
“We had Pop-Tarts.” I smirk.
“Wehad Pop-Tarts? Or you had one and Zeke finished the box?” Alex got it dead-on. I giggle, and it turns into a full-blown laugh, which has me sinking back into the padded cushions. “Got it in one, right?”
“Yeah.”
“You laughing is the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. I plan on finding a way to see that every day of our lives,” he says. He lowers his lips to mine and kisses me, gently at first, but he adds more pressure as I glide my hand through his dark wavy hair, holding him to me, not ready to let him go just yet. His lips move over mine, then he glides his tongue over the seam of my lips. He takes my lower lip and pulls it lightly between his teeth before kissing me more deeply.
Heat rises in my belly, spreading throughout my body. I haven’t felt desire or passion in so long, I was beginning to think that I never would again. Every part of Alex is sexy. His brooding, gorgeous face, his rock-hard body, and the way he walks with confidence, knowing exactly who he is and what he wants. His confidence is off-the-charts sexy.
I cling to his brawny shoulders as I lose myself in the kiss, yielding to his touch, silently pleading for this to never end. Alas, my pleas go unanswered, as he tears his mouth from mine.
“Jesus Christ, that mouth,” he rasps in my ear. “I’m trying to be a gentleman and give you time to heal, but you’re a temptress.”
“My lips aren’t bruised,” I whisper. His mouth curves upward into a sexy smile.
“Cute,” he says, lowering his head once more to brush his lips over mine. “Kissing leads to other things, and I am not going to be responsible for setting back your recovery. We’ve waited this long, buttercup. A couple more days isn’t going to kill us.”
I want say, “Speak for yourself,” but in a flash, he’s off me and standing.
“Want to keep me company while I make us dinner?” he asks, but he’s already taken my hand and is leading me to the kitchen. Alex hoists me up onto the counter and sets about making dinner. We talk openly, easily, like we’ve been doing it for years.
We keep the topics light until Alex says, “I’d like to hear about your family. You haven’t said much about them.”
My chest tightens, not because I don’t love my parents, because I do, but because I’ve caused them so much trouble. Cameron destroyed my relationship with them, and even when it was all over, I couldn’t bear to put Mom and Dad through dredging it up all over again. They’d want to talk, and I didn’t want to relive it all.
“My mom’s name is Cheryl, and Dad’s name is Douglas. Mom works part-time as a cook at a senior home. Dad is a truck driver. I had a normal childhood. They’re great parents, loving and kind. My brother, Don, is named after my grandfather on my father’s side. Dad is big on tradition. Don is three years younger than me, and he’s super smart. He’s a history teacher, but he’s going for his master’s and PhD and wants to teach at university level.” I move the food around on my plate, refusing to make eye contact for fear that he’ll see how much it hurts that I’ve backed away from my family. “That’s about it,” I conclude, shrugging.
“Babe, look at me,” Alex says. I slowly look up through lowered lashes. “You’re safe with me. I’m not going to judge you or tell you what you should do. In a relationship, we share.” His hand covers mine, then he says, “If you’re not ready, that’s cool. But when you are, I’m here.”
That’s when the ticking time bomb in my heart goes off, and a flood of emotions runs through me. Anger, grief, embarrassment, and the biggest of them all, guilt.
“I allowed him to cut my parents out of my life. I was so stupid. I let him do that. To me. To them. I yelled at them. Told them that if they couldn’t love him like I did, then I didn’t want to have anything to do with them.” I get up from the table and begin to pace the room, running a hand through my hair and gripping it, feeling the pain. “That’s when Cameron showed his true colors. Once he had me alone and vulnerable, that’s when he began his plan to torment me. I let go of my family forhim. For him.”
By this point, I’m stomping back and forth, my voice getting louder. “How do I face them again? Sure, they say it’s okay. Come home. But how do I go home? What do I say?” I take a breath. “Sorry I caused you so much stress and Dad had a heart attack because of me, but hey, I screwed up?” I turn to Alex. “I can’t do that. I fucked my family up!I did that!”
