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She covered her mouth with her hand and I sighed, walking toward them both. “No, Charity, and no, Mom. This is my fault. All my fault. I’ve been a coward my whole life, and it’s time I finally accepted who I am. That means my magic side, as well as my shifter side. Instead of accepting me, I tried to hide it. I lied. And it time I took responsibility for those choices that I’ve made and the consequences that ensued. I lied to my brother, and my friends. Our people. It’s time they knew who I am, truly... if they don’t already.”
I smiled tentatively at Charity, who smiled back. “Yeah... not sure how fast gossip flies around the castle, but those two guys on the roof were pretty shocked when they saw you do your thing.”
“My thing...” I laughed briefly, then shook myself. “I think I’m going to need a lot more practice before it’s considered mything.”
Charity glanced at my mother. “Well, you have the perfect teacher, right here.”
Mom nodded at me. “I would love to help teach you how to manage your magic, son. When you’re ready, let me know, and I’ll be there.” She cupped Charity’s face and sighed. “I’m going to leave you two to talk. It’s time for bed.”
Dad lifted Mom up in his arms and carried her from the room.
Charity stared after them with a grin and a head shake. “That’s where you get it from.”
I laughed; I couldn’t help it. “Yeah, well... you’re too beautiful to walk. And it gives me an excuse to hold you.”
Charity sobered, her expression falling. “Your mom’s right. We do need to talk.”
We certainly did. “Yes, we do. Shall we talk here? Or go to my bedroom?”
She stared at me, her eyes twin pools of shimmering uncertainty.
“How about we start here?” I suggested, taking her hand and pulling her toward the chairs in front of the fireplace.
We sat in our chairs, the fire warm on our faces.
“Where should we start?” Charity asked, her voice a touch squeaky and uncertain.
I coughed a little to clear my throat. “I’ll start with an apology. Though I owe you many, I’ll get to the most important one first. I’m so sorry for leaving you in the library this afternoon. Making love to you was the most magnificent moment of my life, and I ruined it for both of us.”
Charity stared down at her hands which were clasped in her lap. “You kinda did, yes. It was extremely hurtful and confusing.”
“Will you forgive me?” I asked around the sudden lump in my throat.
She lifted her chin. “I will, over time, I’m sure.”
“And now?” I asked, my heart beating a little faster. “I’ll do anything for a second chance with you. Anything. What can I do now to make things right?”
She stared at me with narrowed eyes, as if considering and discarding several responses. And then she came out with the last thing I was expecting. “You mentioned this several minutes ago when your mom was here, but I want to confirm whether or not you mean it. Anthony, I want you to accept your magic and start doing lessons with your mom to control it.”
I sat up straighter, familiar fear eating at me. I knew I had to accept myself, and that meant accepting my magic as well as everything else. It was just difficult to acknowledge, when I’d spent a lifetime avoiding it. “Well... ah...”
“You’ve already started on that path,” she continued. “Those two servants saw you save Carlak, and they’ll tell everyone, surely?”
They might, because they knew what it meant. But they might simply keep it to themselves, thinking that’s what the family would want.
And I knew I couldn’t rely on a couple of servants to maybe or maybe not spread the word. This had to be up to me. It had to be a conscious decision. Which meant I had to do what she said and own up to everything. To everyone.
“What are you most afraid of?” She reached out and gripped my hand. “Surely nothing worse than what happened tonight?”
Her smile was tentative, but she was right. I thought about it, considering the situation from every angle, and couldn’t quite think why I’d held onto my secret for so long.
I started talking, because often that revealed the problem. “When I was young, I didn’t want to be different to my brother and all my friends. Then I grew older and... well, then I felt trapped, I think. In my lie. It was like, the longer it went on, the harder it became to reveal the truth. And then, of course, the more I tried to hide my magic, contain it, the more it tried to get out. And my fear of losing control only grew.”
My heart squeezed at the realization that I’d actually created my own cage.
“Oh my God, I did this to myself. And everything I tried to do to control it all, only made things worse.”
Charity laughed. “We all create problems in our own heads sometimes.”
