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“Shut up.”
Joe smiled at me. “Love can build a life and can ruin it.”
“Would it really have been ruined though?” I asked. “We could have been together all this time, Joe. I could have waited. I could have taken other classes. You were signed… what… a couple years later?”
Joe nodded. “So you were watching?”
I looked down, blushing.
“Fuck, Anna,” he said. “This hurts.”
“I know it does. There was so much that could have been. Should have been.”
“We can’t look at it that way,” Joe said.
I lifted my gaze. “Try it.”
“You think I haven’t, baby?” Joe shook his head, annoyed. “You think I didn’t sit there and picture it? You and me together in some shitty apartment, struggling to get by. Me getting that first real contract and bringing it all home to you. You chasing your dreams. Maybe we even get married. Have a kid or two. Can you believe that?”
I didn’t mean to do it and I didn’t want to do it, but I suddenly burst into tears.
The thought of me getting married to Joe…
The thought of me… with a big, swollen belly, carrying Joe’s child…
Joe inched forward and touched my face.
He stared into my eyes.
“And you know what, Anna? For all we know, I could have gotten hit by a bus or something too. You can rewrite anything. I just know without you in my life, I’m miserable. I’m angry. And I have a tendency to throw people through windows.”
“Great,” I said. “I’m your medication then?”
“That’s right. Prescribed for life.”
Joe picked me up and pulled me toward him.
He cradled me in his arms.
We may have lost back then, but at least we had right now.
I took a deep breath and brushed my lips to Joe’s cheek.
Then I laughed.
“What?” he asked.
I licked my lips. “Syrup.”
“You threw French toast at me.”
“I did.”
“I guess that was better than a fork or a knife,” he said.
I licked his cheek like a dog.
Joe growled and cringed.
