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Felix can’t find out what I’m up to.
When the purchase is made, I quickly hide it in my purse.
My heart continues sinking as the inevitable question pops into my head - Could I be pregnant?
I try to push the thought aside as I head back toward Felix, trying to appear calm and collected.
But my mind is racing with anxiety and fear. What will Felix say if he finds out?
Will he be angry? Disappointed?
Will he even want to be with me anymore if I am pregnant?
And what if he finds out I’m a Battaglia?
Will he think this was my family’s plan to manipulate him into subservience through a child?
No way would he see this for the accident it was.
No way can I now tell him who I am and that I’m pregnant.
But my thoughts are running wild. I haven’t even taken the test yet, I remind myself. It could just be a late period because of stress or something.
As I approach Felix, he looks up and smiles at me. “Feeling better?” he asks.
I nod, trying to hide the turmoil in my mind. “Yeah, just had to use the washroom,” I say, hoping he won’t press further.
He says something, but I lose focus. My eyes dart to the door. I need to get home.
But then he takes my hand and pulls me close, his eyes searching mine. “Hey, Emily, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”
“Nothing,” I say instantly. “I think I’m just tired. I could use a nap.”
“A nap it is, then,” he says. “Let me buy these, and then we can head home.”
I keep sipping water on the entire ride home, muttering one-word answers and acknowledgments to whatever Felix says.
When the car stops, I rush out and head straight to the washroom.
My hands tremble as I uncap and pee on one of the pregnancy sticks.
The first stick shows two pink lines, a positive result.
As I check it repeatedly to ensure that my eyes are not deceiving me, reality begins to set in.
Tears start streaming down my face uncontrollably as Felix’s face comes to mind.
I take out the other two sticks and keep them on the side cabinet, digesting the shocking news without uttering a word.
I drink more water and try to quiet my mind. But I can’t seem to. I’m walking up and down the room.
I lie down, trying to nap, but I can’t sleep. When I need to pee again, I return to the washroom and grab the remaining two sticks. Then, I pee on those and wait.
These minutes that I wait are the hardest three minutes of my life.
I look at the sticks. Four lines. Two positives.
They say three’s a charm. Today, I learn that three can be a disaster.
