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Was it just nothing?
A meaningless gesture of concentration?
I try to rack my brain. Have I ever seen him before?
No. I don't think so.
I know I'll go crazy if I analyze every micro-expression on every person here.
There are hundreds of people.
Realistically, the chances of me being recognized are slim.
My father is from New York. I'm in Illinois!
My mind switches between absolute fear and strange euphoria at getting away with my worst lie.
I take deep breaths and try to be as normal as I can.
The rest of the evening feels like an eternity, each introduction increasing my discomfort.
I focus on blending into the crowd, avoiding eye contact, and keeping my identity hidden beneath layers of pretense.
"Come on, let's dance," Felix suddenly suggests, holding his hand. I hesitate, glancing nervously at the people around us.
A bead of sweat trickles down my back, and I'm painfully aware of how much I have to lose if my secret is discovered.
"Actually, I think I might sit this one out," I demur, my voice barely above a whisper.
Felix's gaze lingers on me for a moment, his confusion evident, but ultimately he acquiesces and lets me return to the safety of the shadows.
I don't think I can dance.
Once on that floor, I would be in a clear line of sight for everyone present.
But even here, people keep eyeing me, for Felix is right by my side, and everyone has their eyes on the youngest Don in town.
“You know,” I mutter. “I think you should go ask one of the wives to dance.
It’ll charm them, and the husbands would gladly have them off their hands. It’s just a … gesture, you know?” I add.
Maybe if Felix leaves me alone for a while, I can disappear into a washroom or something.
Felix looks at me and smiles like I’ve given him a brilliant idea.
“You think of everything, don’t you?” he says, giving me a slight kiss on my cheek.
“My mother used to tell my father the same thing, and then, most of his friends became his friends, for their wives told their husbands how charming my father was.
I think you’re right. Will you be alright on your own?” he asks.
“Yes, yes,” I mutter, “Don’t you worry about me. Carry on now,” I say.
I watch Felix survey the scene and walk toward the west of the room.
My heart hammers as I watch the party unfold around me.
Though I've managed to escape detection thus far, I can't help but feel like a ticking time bomb, waiting for my past to catch up with me.
