AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Pulling up at the curb and cutting my engine, I glance through my side window to the two-story home I’ve been mentally decorating for years.
Axel’s home is mostly beiges and boring browns, because he’s never had much of a desire to do anything about it. He works too much, and doesn’t care about the outside, anyway. But I would choose blue shutters and a white fence.
I’ve been designing since the day we did a walk-through and inspected the property together.
I would paint the front door black, add a shiny, gold handle and a cute stained-glass peep window along the side so we could see who was visiting before deciding to open the door.
Since we would obviously live in our underwear and never take our hands off each other.
I would create a small garden out front, and plant something hardy, since I’m not all that skilled at keeping flowers alive. I never wanted bouquets delivered to me, like it was some kind of production a man should be congratulated for.
But a cute little cottage garden, where I pick the weeds and my husband mows the lawn?
Yeah. That’s what I want.
It’s all I’ve ever wanted.
Closing my eyes and taking a breath deep enough to fill my lungs, I exhale again and study the home that, at this juncture, has none of ‘me’ in it. The door is brown. The fence, broken to the point of no true function. There was once a garden behind it, I suppose, if you count the bricks that mark out an odd oval shape, filled with grass and weeds.
The exterior walls are a shade of brown, less exciting than beige, and the inside… hopeless.
Shaking my head, I open the car door and push out until my feet touch the road. The sun beats from the west, making me squint. But I still see Axel’s truck in the driveway.
Good.
I have a container filled with food I want to try out for my business, and a plan to feed the man, apologize for shouting at him last night, then settle in and talk with him. Find a way forward for us that includes trust: not only in the words coming out of his mouth, but in the promises he’s made.
To stay in town.
To love me.
To not run away anymore—or worse, push me away.
The latter hurts most of all.
Closing the car door and hitting the lock on the key fob pinched between my fingers, I juggle my keys, my phone, the container of food, and the million thoughts jumping in my mind.
There are so manywhat-ifs.
So much to fear.
So, for today, I choose the quiet. I choose my best friend.
Crossing the street and moving up the front porch, I stop by the door with my heart thundering in my chest, and nerves flickering through my veins. My lips are dry, and my throat even more so. But I balance my things and reach up with my empty hand.
Knock, knock, knock.
I take a step back and wait, while birds sing in the established trees surrounding Axel’s home. Cicadas scream, and footsteps creak inside the house, proving he’s home.
A whole minute passes, and when he doesn’t come to the door, I step forward and knock again with a frown.
I’ll be damned if he thinks he can avoid the hard conversations.
“Open up, Axel. We have things to talk about, and I’m not letting you run today.”
I catch movement through the front window, and hear the soft crackle of something far away. So I bring my fist up again and knock, heavier this time.
“Axel Feeney! I swear to god, if you don’t—”
