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Colin picks me up from JFK and the moment I get in the car, he has a million and one questions.
“Are they together now?”
“I don’t know.”
“Did you see it coming?”
“No.”
“How do you feel?”
“Fine.”
He can obviously tell something is wrong; after all, he’s my big brother. But he’s deciding not to pry. For now.
“Well, I’m already doing damage control,” Colin grumbles.
“Sorry to hear that.”
“You know, our investors hate when shit like this happens. This is the equivalent of Elon tweeting something stupid. Except worse,” Colin explains as he navigates the car through the chaos of arrivals.
I laugh sadly. “Well, then maybe you should have done a better job of convincing him not to go.”
I feel Colin’s eyes jump to me, but I keep my gaze firmly out the window. “Yeah… maybe,” he says and then pauses. “Stella –”
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t seem fine.”
I sigh. “I’m tired.” Not just from traveling. From everything. From all of it.Life.
“Yes, but it seems like you’re… not saying something.”
I seal my lips together. “I was stuck on a boat with some of the most horrible people I’ve ever met, Colin. Not a friend in sight. I’m exhausted.”
“I know you and Flynn don’t like each other, but you can’t say he isn’t a friend.”
I can say that and more. I can now say he is mynemesis.The only thing better than that would be for me not to care a lick about him anymore. I know that’s not possible. Not yet. But if I keep away, maybe get over him by getting under someone else, try and convince myself the feelings I was having were just the intoxication of the Mediterranean and all the alcohol, maybe then I’ll forget about him.
For now, though, I hate him.
I hate how he made me feel about him.
I hate that even though I hate him I still…I still love him.
“Did he do something, Stella?”
“No!” I answer, a bit too defensively. “I mean… no. He didn’t do anything wrong. It was just a mistake for me to go. It was…” I feel my eyes well with tears again. “I’m so tired.”
“Hey, hey, hey… it’s okay.” Colin knows me well enough to know when I’m lying to him. And he also knows when to leave well enough alone. He knows better than to harp on it any longer. “The dogs are going to be so happy to see you.”
I feel my insides relax. The thought of my little babies makes the clouds part in the sky, and a smile spread across my face. “Were they good?”
“Yes, although I think I might have been overfeeding them.”
“Colin!”
“What?! They’re so cute, I can’t help it. I’d be a monster not to give them a treat.
