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“Not much can keep me out of my own head,” he admitted, then got in his truck, glancing at Heather’s greenhouse and looking away when he pulled out.
He followed Zane to the house they were working on and got inside with two other crew that showed up.
Zane told everyone what was going and what was staying.
Luke picked up a sledgehammer and started beating the shit out of the stone counters in the kitchen while others were taking down cabinets.
When he was done with that, he moved to the wall Zane was working on, the exposed two-by-fours now being kicked down by him and the others.
Two hours had gone by and he had one hell of a sweat going on and felt better than ever before.
“Now how do you feel?” Zane asked.
“Jesus, Dr. Phil. What is going on with you?”
He was grinning when he said it and Zane slapped him on the back. “Just letting you see life goes on and you need to figure out how to do it a healthier way.”
“You’re not telling me anything I didn’t already know.”
In the past when they’d gotten done with a mission, he’d hole up for a day or so and not say much. He’d get in his head. He’d try to figure out if he was going to hell for what he’d done and then realized he didn’t believe in heaven or hell. He didn’t believe in much more than what he could touch in front of him at any given moment.
“You’ve got something here,” Zane said. “You look happier than I’ve ever seen you before.”
“That is what happens when you get laid regularly.”
He said it as a joke but then saw Zane frown. “That’s an insult to Heather and you. Just like I expected. Hole up and be quiet and then when that isn’t working you go into this front of jokes and making people laugh.”
“Fuck,” he said, running his hands through his hair. His buddy wasn’t telling him anything he didn’t know he did.
Except he didn’t think he was doing it now. Guess he couldn’t even control his own actions.
“Yeah, you’re right,” he said.
“Let’s walk outside,” Zane said.
It’s not like he could say no. Or he could, but he wouldn’t.
He put the sledgehammer down and moved outside with Zane.
“What did you want to say?” he asked.
“A lot,” Zane said. “But I’m trying to figure it out.”
“You can’t fix me,” he said. “No one can. I’m a product of my upbringing.”
“No,” Zane said. “You’re not. You beat that and you know it. You haven’t said anything about your mother and I’m going to guess she never showed up for help?”
“The thirty days are up and I never got a bill.”
“You didn’t call to find out?” Zane asked.
He had and wasn’t embarrassed to admit it. “I did. Just wanted to verify and was told that she never showed up. She’s made her decisions in life and it’s time that I do the same.”
“Make the right ones,” Zane said.
“I am,” he said. “Heather doesn’t deserve to be stuck with someone like me.”
“Stuck?” Zane asked. “Now you’re sounding like you feel sorry for yourself.”
