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But maybe she could get a better understanding and it might help her with Luke. “Why are you two still single? Is it really your hours or the fear?”
“Some of it,” Noah said. “I mean it's not like I’m running into burning fires daily, though I could. But a lot of women my age don’t care that my schedule changes. I work weekends and holidays. That is unavoidable and always will be. The right person is out there. Not sure if Gavin had found the same thing or not.”
She didn’t believe her brothers hadn’t talked about this. “What about you?” she asked Gavin.
“The same with the hours. Being called in at all times. My job is different. Police officers are shown on TV as the enemy at times. They are attacked too. I guess I can understand that and the truth is, I’m not sure how I would feel if I had a wife and kid at home worrying about me. I can’t focus on my job if I’m dealing with them stressing. I think it takes a special kind of person to be with someone in law enforcement.”
See, she hadn’t seen it from that point of view. “No different than women who are with men in the military,” she said.
“Exactly,” Gavin said. “It’s not only hard enough to find someone to get along with but then you have to find someone strong enough to handle your career. And that is why you will be the one to settle down before the two of us, younger or not.”
Heather laughed. “I doubt that,” she said. But she did wonder if Luke felt that way about things too. She’d file that information away for a conversation another day if they ever got to that point.
15
Trying Something Different
“Not much longer,” Zane said to Luke on Memorial Day.
Luke hadn’t wanted to bug his best friend, but having the long weekend, he wanted to get some shooting practice in. He figured he could sneak over and not worry about seeing Heather, as she’d have the day off.
He wanted to reach out to her, but with only about two weeks left at this point before he was done and getting the final word on where he’d be placed, he thought he’d give it those weeks and let her know at once.
The one time they’d seen each other again almost two months ago, she’d reached out and they’d ended up in bed.
He loved every minute of their time together and he knew she did too, but the last thing he wanted her to think was that he was only looking for sex.
It was funny in a way, as most men would love that, but he was trying something different in his life.
He still didn’t think he was good enough for her, but once he got his life set up, he was going to try his hardest to be the person he always wanted to be.
“Nope,” he said. “I appreciate you letting me come out here today.”
“Anytime,” Zane said. “You know that. It lets me come out and blow some steam off too.”
“I’m sure you do it a lot.”
They were off the edge of the property away from everyone, having come out on a four-wheeler. He didn’t get to use his sniper rifle often and the feel of it made his fingers itch to lose himself.
He’d take a few deep breaths, calm his heart down and hear nothing but the breeze and nature around him. Then he would tune it all out and focus on the target.
He never thought of a person as a human, but as a job when he had this rifle in his hand. Where he was told to hit. A kill shot or disarm. He did as he was instructed. More often than not it was a kill shot and then he’d go home and try to put it behind him.
The hope was here he wouldn’t be needed in that capacity as much as he was in the service, but he could and would be called upon anywhere in the state if need be. Again, one of those advantages that put him in the position to be hired.
“Not as much as I’d like. Lily tells me to do it, but she works so hard and when I’m home, I’ll take the kids for her to give her a break.”
He knew Zane had to leave the service because he’d had a child. Zane’s ex at the time couldn’t handle being a single parent and she wanted him home. When he finished his tour, the ex was gone and Willow had been dropped off at his parents' house and the ex not heard from again until a few years ago.
It just reminded him that not all women could handle a man in the military and they might not be able to handle one in law enforcement either.
But Heather had said her brother was a police sergeant and another was a fireman. So maybe she was okay with it?
He had to think she was since she knew what she was getting into. It’s not like his job was a secret. He knew she was aware he was a sniper too. It’d come up.
If she was disgusted over the fact he’d killed a man before, it never showed.
“That’s nice,” he said. “How are Lily and the kids doing?”
