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“Yes.” Truth be told, I’d honestly just forgotten to mention it to her, taking it for granted that she’d be coming. “They’re having a party to celebrate on Saturday and I was hoping you’d like to come.”
She exhales a deep breath and runs a hand through her hair. The action unsettles me. It’s something I notice she does when she’s uncomfortable or nervous about something, and I hate that I’m the one making her feel like this right now.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“Your family won’t think it’s weird if you show up with some random woman on your arm?”
I give her a wry look. “You’re not somerandom woman, Amber.”
Uncertainty flashes across her face. “Then what am I?”
I hesitate. There are so many things I could say to answer that.
I could tell her that in three short months she’s somehow burrowed her way into the very depths of my soul and claimed herself a permanent seat in my heart.
I could tell her that having her by my side adds a brightness to my life, like she’s my own personal sun.
I could tell her that I love her with every fibre of my being and the amount of time I’ve spent daydreaming about the life we could have together – the kind of life that might result in our future children spending three months searching for photographs forour35thwedding anniversary – is truly becoming alarming.
And I’m going to tell her all of that and more.
But not just yet. I’ve got a plan and I still need a little more time to pull it off.
I try and think of an answer that’ll placate her until then, but my silence must put her on edge because she says, voice tight, “Meeting your family is a big deal.”
“You’ve met Nel and Maya.”
“Exactly!” Frustration oozes from every syllable. “You shouldn’t introduce me— I shouldn’t be meeting people — especially Maya — if I’m not going to stick around. It’s not fair. On them. On you. On me.”
Alarm bells start ringing in my head. “You’re not going anywhere, sweetheart.”
She gives me a sad smile. “That’s not your decision to make.”
Okay. Fuck the plan. I’ll say anything to wipe away the cloud of doubt on her face right now. “Then let’s make it together.” I pull her in close. “Go on, say it.”
“Say what?”
“Everything you’ve been holding back since I picked you up at the airport.” I tap the side of her head gently. “I know it’s been swirling around in there, slowly driving you mad. Get it out. Get it all off your chest, and we’ll figure it out together.”
The smile she gives me is equal parts relief and nerves. She takes a moment to find the words, and then says, “I don’t think this is sustainable.”
It feels like an arrow to the chest, but I give her a nod and let her carry on.
“You can’t just fly me out whenever you’re horny.”
“I wasn’t horny until you started—”
“I’m serious, Finn.” Her voice is quiet, barely a whisper, and she dips her head. “We both deserve more than that.”
“I can give you more.”
Her eyes shoot up to meet mine again.
“I’ll give you whatever you want, sweetheart.”
“It’s— It’s too soon,” she chokes out. “We’ve only known each other for three months. I couldn’t ask you to do that. It wouldn’t be fair—”
