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“I want to go home.” My voice sounds as sad as I feel.
“Talk to me,” he implores taking my hand in his. My eyes burn as the tears gather in the corners. “Why would you go out with that creep?”
“To make you jealous.” I figure if I tell him the truth, if he says he doesn’t want me, I can kill whatever feelings I have for him. It’s going to hurt like a bitch but at least I can move on then.
“What?”
“I let Jared take me out,” I turn to face him, “to your bar, so you would see me with another man. I wanted you to be jealous. I was hoping you would finally see me as more than Luke’s little sister.”
“Laura,” he groans, closing his eyes.
A tear rolls down my cheek. “But I get it now. I finally understand that you don’t want me.”
***
Xander
Fuck. This girl is tearing me up. Before I can consider the consequences of my actions, I lift her from the bench seat and cradle her to my chest. Laura sniffles and the sound damn near breaks my heart. Holding her against my chest I can’t help but run my hands over her back as she cries softly. I would give anything to take this pain from her, but I can’t.
When Luke found out he had terminal cancer he made me promise to take care of her. To make sure that the man she ends up with someday is good enough for her. And that man isn’t me.
“Laura,” I say softly when her crying tapers out. “Please don’t cry. Especially not over me.”
She shakes her head, not looking at me. The hand she has placed on my chest burns through the fabric of my t-shirt and I revel in the feel of her in my arms just one last time.
“You know I’m not good enough for you,” I say, my voice hoarse. “You need to find a decent man. Someone who can give you the world.” It breaks my heart to say those words out loud but I know that what I am doing is for the best.
Laura’s gaze collides with mine before she straightens in my lap. The feel of her moving around is making it harder to hide the erection I have had since I pulled her into my arms in the bar.
“That’s bullshit and you know it. Luke always said you were the best person he knew.”
She could have slapped me, and I wouldn’t have been this shocked. I know that Luke loved me like a brother and respected me. But to hear those words from her lips? I never knew.
But it doesn’t change the fact that I can’t get involved with Laura.
“It doesn’t matter,” I say gruffly. “I would ruin you. I would never be able to give you what you deserve and eventually you would hate me. You’re all I have left, and I won’t lose you.”
Laura absorbs my words, remaining silent. She watches me closely and it feels like she is looking right into my soul. “You don’t get to make that choice for me, Xander.”
Her voice is soft like a caress, and I close my eyes, praying for the strength to push her away again. Laura is all I have ever wanted and all I know I can never have.
I never should have brought us out to the lake.
I definitely shouldn’t have pulled her onto my lap.
And I sure as shit shouldn’t be sitting here thinking of ways I can keep her when I know better.
Chapter Four
Laura
One thing I know for sure is that Xander wants me. In the last five minutes, my entire world has been turned upside down. In the best kind of way. I can feel his erection pressing against my mound and it takes every fiber of my being to remain still. I watch him as he takes deep breaths, trying to compose himself. His hands on my hips tighten as he opens his eyes.
“No. This isn’t right,” he says. “I’m not the man for you.”
This is my last chance to convince him to finally give in to what we both want. Nodding, I lean forward slightly, forcing my pussy onto his erection, and drawing a hiss from between his lips. His pupils dilate, the grey darkening to the color of storm clouds. I watch his every reaction intently before whispering into his ear.
“It’s not your choice. It’s mine.”
