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The days turned to weeks with very little change. Makayla was in an induced coma. She had no brain injuries. She had damage to her liver and kidneys and multiple broken bones including fractures to her skull. Our wedding day approached and passed. Damien and Kait sorted all of that. I couldn’t deal with it. I stayed by Makayla begging her to wake up every day. In December, Kait put up a Christmas tree in Makayla’s room. ‘’I know you don’t feel like celebrating Wade. But, let’s do Christmas, for the baby. In case, in case, this is our last Christmas with Amber, Makayla. Sorry, it’s still weird.’’ I hugged Kait. ‘’Thank you, as always Kait. I appreciate it.’’ Damien came into the room. ‘’Wade, they want to see us.’’ My heart beat in my chest. Don’t let this be it. ‘’Tell them to come in here. I won’t leave her.’’ ‘’Sure son.’’ ‘’Do you want me to take the baby?’’ ‘’No Kait, I need her. She keeps me calm.’’ ‘’ OK, Wade?’’ ‘’Yeah?’’ ‘’You’re a great dad. If Makayla wakes up, even if she doesn’t. She will be so happy knowing her daughter has you.’’ I couldn’t respond. I nodded to Kait and turned my back.
I was struggling to keep it together. I heard the door open and people file in. I turned to hear it. Damien stood at the door. ‘’I need a minute Wade. I can’t. You understand?’’ I nodded. I did understand. How many god damn times did one man have to watch his daughter on the cusp of death. ‘’What is it?’’ ‘’Mr Doust. We need to perform another surgery. Makayla’s liver is the biggest problem.’’ ‘’Get her a donor.’’ ‘’Mr Doust, donors are hard to come by…’’ ‘’Not when you are willing to pay billions. Make it happen.’’ ‘’Sir, her blood type is too rare. Her best chance is further repair. We need to address her lungs too. The amount of scar tissue, due to her previous injuries has caused us massive issues.’’ ‘’In your professional opinion, the best option is to do what?’’ ‘’Perform another operation, sir.’’ ‘’Then why aren’t you already arranging it?’’ ‘’The foetuses may not survive.’’ ‘’I’ll make myself clear. My fiancé's life is the highest priority. The babies are second, only and when their mother is completely safe.’’ ‘’Understood sir. One more thing, I need to advise you that Makayla will not be able to conceive again. If you are happy risking the babies, you need to be aware that she cannot try again.’’ ‘’I don’t give a fuck. Save her life and do it now.’’ ‘’Understood sir, we will arrange it straight away.’’
I paced the room waiting for news. ‘’Wade, sit down.’’ ‘’I can’t.’’ ‘’Sweety, there’s nothing you can do. Get some sleep so you can be with her once it’s over.’’ ‘’I can’t.’’ Kait blew out a breath. ‘’How long has it been?’’ I glanced at my watch. Sixteen minutes longer than when I looked last time. ‘’Five and a half hours.’’ ‘’How long did they expect…?’’ ‘’I don’t know.’’ Princess stirred in my arms. ‘’Shh baby, I’m sorry.’’ I rocked the baby in my arms and resumed my pacing. Damien sat still as a statue in the corner. Kait went to sit next to him. ‘’I don’t know how you haven’t died of a heart attack yet old man. How many surgeries has she had?’’ Kait asked Damien. Damien blew out a breath. ‘’Too many. I feel like I’ve spent half my life in a hospital waiting room. At least now I know nobody is coming to kill her in the middle of the night. Don’t have to second guess any doctors or nursing staff.’’ ‘’Damn straight. I saw Makayla’s medical bills. Wade has the best.’’ I turned and paced to the other wall. Sixteen more steps. Don’t think about it. Breathe. I held the baby closer to my chest.
‘’You know what kills me though? I could have prevented this.’’ I stopped mid-step and looked at Damien. ‘’I should have checked about her baby. I didn’t think, didn’t even care. I just wanted my daughter. I should’ve known she would just want her baby too.’’ I continued my pacing. ‘’The only person at fault is me.’’ ‘’No Wade, you’ve done everything…’’ ‘’You don’t fucking know anything ok Kait. Just shut up.’’ I couldn’t handle being around people. I took the baby and decided on pacing the hallway. More steps to count. ‘’Wade.’’ ‘’Jace, I can’t deal at the moment. Go back to your woman.’’ ‘’It’s not your fault mate. She’s a strong woman. She’s got this.’’ I stopped and leaned against the wall. ‘’How would you feel if you got Kait pregnant, deliberately? Even though Kait wasn’t sure she wanted a baby.’’ Jace went to interrupt me, but I held my hand up. ‘’Then a doctor comes along, and tells you that kid you put in her, or in my case kids, are probably going to tear her apart from inside her stomach.’’
I watched as Jace’s face dropped. ‘’Makayla’s pregnant?’’ ‘’Twins. Don’t repeat it, Jace. I can’t deal right now.’’ ‘’Would Makayla have been fine if her husband didn’t stab her close to death?’’ ‘’What?’’ ‘’You asked a question. It depends. If Makayla would’ve been in danger just from having your kids, then yeah. You’re a dick. But if she would’ve got through that. And this is all caused because of a cluster fuck, that ended in her ex stabbing her near to death. I got to say, mate. I’m not looking at you. I’m looking at the ex you put a bullet in when you saved her. I’m gonna do what she would do and stare you down and tell you to pull your head out of your ass. You’re paying all her medical bills. You have sourced the best doctors, and practically kidnapped them, to ensure she gets through this. I haven’t seen you put that baby down, who isn’t yours, since you walked into this hospital and started throwing out demands and writing cheques. It’s not your fault mate. You will be the reason she lives. And when you get through this, I hope your three kids keep you awake all fucking night, every night, for knocking Makayla up on purpose.’’ I laughed. ‘’I’ll gladly take that if it means I take my woman and my kids home in one piece.’’ ‘’You will mate. Thanks by the way, for fucking me over.’’ ‘’How’d I fuck you over?’’ ‘’Kaits fucking clucky as it is, think I’m not gonna be screwed when there are twins on the scene?’’ I laughed again. It felt good. ‘’Put a ring on it, Mate. Kait’s the one, you know it.’’ ‘’Yeah, got the ring. Can hardly propose in a hospital room. She won’t leave, like you.’’ ‘’Mr Doust?’’ I turned, my heart rate increasing again. I rushed down the hall to the doctor. ‘’Tell me she’s ok?’’ ‘’She’s good, mate. She’s ok for now. The foetuses are both fine as well. It’s on Makayla to heal now and wake up.’’ My knees buckled; I held my daughter tighter. Jace clapped me on the back. ‘’She’s gonna be ok mate.’’
Makayla had four blood transfusions. The babies were still ok, I made them check every day. I had Makayla moved to a more private wing. The press was flocking to the fucking hospital. Apparently, I was being sued by the one I punched a few days back. I spent my days occupying Makayla's daughter, playing with her, teaching her and taking her to see her mum. I spent hours sitting by Makayla's bedside, begging her forgiveness for failing her and not protecting her. I encouraged her to wake up so she didn’t miss anything else. I didn’t want her to miss any other important moment with her daughter. We cuddled in a chair beside Makayla and read stories. At night she slept on my chest at the hospital. I occasionally allowed Damien and Kait to look after her at the penthouse. I didn’t handle the separation and being by myself. The baby kept me centred, and calm. She gave me a reason to keep it together. Twice I went back to the penthouse to pick her up in the middle of the night. I left the hospital only long enough to shower and change, and for the odd hour, I passed out before I could get back. Makayla never woke or stirred. The longer this went on the more hope I lost. The weeks dragged on. I was losing Makayla.
I had relented and let Damien spend time with his granddaughter. I sat by Makayla’s bed holding her hand. ‘’Baby, I don’t know if you can hear me. But if you can, you need to come back to me now. Your daughter needs you, and I need you. It’s a new year. You missed Christmas. You missed our wedding. I can’t go on without you. They tell me if you don’t wake up soon, you might not wake up at all. They say your body might not be able to heal itself. I need you to open your eyes. I need you to come back now. I swear to God if you leave me… please don’t…please don’t leave me. No, if you don’t wake up ill tear down every damn forest you love, just to spite you. Fuck the koalas. Come back, baby.’’
MAKAYLA
I felt like death. I couldn’t move. Everything hurt. Now and then when I felt like my body was on fire and I would surely die, I felt a prick and coolness and I would sleep again. I tried to open my eyes so many times, but it was too hard. I could hear people and noises, but it was too hard. I knew when Wade was close. I felt the stress and pain he felt. Sometimes I heard full sentences. But I couldn’t make my body obey and open my eyes. Wade begged me to, every day. Didn’t he know I tried? It hurt. I wished I could scream at him. My head hurts don’t make me! Kait whispered to me that she was going to punch Wade. She told me about her and Jace. I was glad she was happy with him. She told me if I died, she would look after my daughter, and help Wade. I didn’t know what she was talking about. My brain felt like fuzz.
WADE
‘’What the fuck are you doing Kait?’’ ‘’Painting her toenails black.’’ ‘’Why? Leave her be! Kait!’’ ‘’No, don’t you stand up for her! She’s leaving us. She’s dying on me! She gets black toenails because that’s what she deserves. If she doesn’t come back to us. If she doesn’t fight, she gets black fucking toenails!’’ Kait crumpled and I pulled her to me. I shared her pain. We were both angry now. I held Kait while she cried it out. ‘’I’m sorry, I know it’s silly.’’ ‘’It’s not, its ok. I threatened to clear all her favourite forests and kill all the koalas.’’ Kait laughed and then sobbed. ‘’I want to burn the world to the ground without her in it.’’ ‘’I’ll be there with you, Kait.’’
MAKAYLA
No! Don’t cry! I’m trying! I’m not dying! I don’t want black toenails. I tried badly to open my eyes. I couldn’t, the pain in my head was too intense. I tried to move my feet. Give Kait some sign that I could hear her. My whole body ached but it wouldn’t comply, I gave up and let the blackness take me.
WADE
I sat with Kait. Tears in both our eyes. ‘’Woop woop’’ alarms sprang to life all over the room. ‘’No! No!’’ Doctors and nurses flooded the room. ‘’Sir, you have to leave, now.’’ ‘’No! No, please!’’ Kate grabbed my face. ‘’Wade! Listen! If they have to fight with you, they aren’t helping her!’’ I allowed Kait to pull me out of the room. I stood with my back to the door. I could hear them all shouting instructions at her. ‘’Clear!’’ Fuck. This was it. They told me her body might not cope with the stress. I slid to the floor. I lost her. I fucking lost her! I stood and strode to the end of the hall. I needed to punch something. I needed pain. I needed to hurt. ‘’Jace! Go with him!’’ They could all fuck off. I was done. Fuck Makayla for fucking leaving me. Fuck them all. I picked up my phone. ‘’Get the fucking driver here.’’ ‘’Yes sir.’’ I hung up and left the hospital.
KAIT
‘’How is he?’’ ‘’Vomiting all over his bathroom. At least now he can’t take any more swings at me.’’ ‘’I still can’t believe he did that.’’ ‘’Kait, she’s dying. There’s no right or wrong way to deal with it. I don’t blame him for drinking himself into oblivion. It was just hard keeping him away from the media.’’ ‘’Yeah, I know. The doctors say she’s stable for now. They said it was stress. They don’t understand. When he wakes, tell him she’s still alive, for now. I suppose at least he’s getting some sleep. I don’t think he’s slept more than an hour the whole time.’’ ‘’Yeah, I’ll watch him. He should pass out soon, he’s fucked. You going to look after the baby then?’’ ‘’Yeah, Damien fed her. She’s asleep now.’’ ‘’Kay babe, you rest too ok. Tomorrow, once we kick Wade in the ass, you’re coming home.’’ ‘’I can’t Jace, Makayla...’’ ‘’Would want you to be happy. You're coming home, at least for the night.’’ ‘’Okay. I love you.’’ ‘’You too baby.’’
MAKAYLA
Id given up trying to open my eyes. I rested and listened to the noises around me. I don’t know how long that lasted, but I know when I heard it. “Here’s mummy, she loves you so much. She’s going to wake up soon and we will take her home.” Wade was back. Id missed him. He was with my daughter; he must have saved my daughter! I felt the wetness of a tear slide down my cheek, but I still couldn’t open my eyes, it was so hard. “Mum’’ I felt it in my heart, oh god my baby, my daughter. I heard Wade's voice catch ''Yeah honey that’s Mum.” I felt his hand in mine and tiny fingers touch my hand. I was trying desperately to open my eyes, to communicate. To see my baby. “Wade sir.” “Doctor, she’s crying.” Wade sobbed. I felt gentle fingers sweep my face. “Well now that’s perfect, we are going to reduce the drugs and see if our girl will wake up.” “What about the babies?” “They are fine Wade, just like yesterday, and just like every day before that.” I tried to smile. The thought of Wade hounding people to check on my health. Babies? I tried desperately to open my eyes again to no avail. I gave up and let the blackness take me once more. At least the pain in my head was less.
I woke again sometime after, prepared for the struggle to open my eyes. Surprisingly it didn’t come, I blinked taking in the blinding light. I turned my head awkwardly to the side. Wade was stretched out on a sofa sound asleep. My heart hurt at the sight. He held my daughter tightly to his chest. They were both sound asleep. Í tried to form a sentence. My throat felt all gravelly. “Wwwade” Wade stirred but I couldn’t speak loud enough to get his attention. I took in my surroundings. There was a buzzer really close to my hand. I tried desperately to inch my hand closer and fumble with the button. I didn’t want the pain to come again before he saw me. I opened my eyes, Wade! You asked me to do it, I’m here! Look at me! Please! Pain tore through my chest, as I finally managed to get close enough to press the button. A light flashed in the corner of the room and a ding noise sounded. A nurse came into the room “Mr Doust is everything...” She took in Wade's sleeping, now stirring form and swung to the bed. “Oh, sweetheart your finally awake, how do you feel?’’
Tears leaked from my eyes and I winced in pain. “OK honey, let me fetch your doctor and we will get you sorted out.” Wade was blinking and sitting up disorientated. “Wade” I managed to whisper. His head shot toward me. “Makayla, oh god’’ he sobbed and rushed to me jostling the baby awake. “Are you ok, what do you need? Babe I've been so scared, oh god I’m so glad you're awake.’’ Tears leaked down his face. ''I thought that I lost you. I thought you would die, baby.'' I struggled to speak and gave up when the pain got too much. I closed my eyes a moment. ''Makayla! No, Open your eyes!'' I opened my eyes so that Wade didn’t panic. ''Hurts'' I whispered. I heard other voices. ''Makayla dear, I am your Doctor. How do you feel?'' ''Pain'' I whispered. I felt exhausted. ‘’She’s in pain! Fix It!’’ Wade shouted. ''Calm down Wade. Ok, dear, I can see you are exhausted. We will get you some more pain meds and speak when you aren’t so tired.'' I could hear arguing and Wade’s worried voice, but I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.
WADE
Makayla had woken up! It had only been a few heart-wrenching seconds. She had said she was in pain. I'd made it clear to the doctors they had better fix that shit now, I didn’t want Makayla in pain. I’d also been terrified when she couldn’t stay awake and went back to sleep, but the doctors had promised she would be waking regularly now. Following that day, I only left Makayla's room for twenty minutes a day, where I showered and changed. I didn’t want to miss a second with her. The doctors were now eighty per cent sure Makayla would pull through. Their only concern now was her pregnancy. They explained that they had easily been able to repair the damage to her vital organs. But, the babies would soon grow and take up most of the space in her body. They were worried about the wounds being too fresh to withstand the pregnancy and they were worried about her old wounds to her stomach. They had given me the choice to terminate the pregnancy. I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t make the call without Makayla’s consent. But there wasn’t anything else they could do, other than sit back and see what happens. So, I sat holding Makayla's hand. I felt like I was responsible not only for letting her down and not protecting her but for creating the time bomb in her stomach. When she pulled through this there was a very real possibility that she wouldn’t live through the pregnancy - if she continued it.
Two days after Makayla had woken up, she woke again. I had held her hand all night and was asleep in the chair I had dragged beside her when I felt her hand move. I snapped my eyes open to find Makayla smiling at me. ''Hey beautiful, I’ve missed those eyes.'' ''Love you'' Makayla whispered back to me. I tried to keep my shit together, I’d been so scared I would never hear that again. Makayla's brown furrowed. ''What's wrong, baby? Are you in pain?'' ''Where's baby?'' she croaked. ''I’ll get her for you baby. She’s perfect. I’ll be back in a sec.'' I let myself out the door and jogged down the hall to where Kait was occupying the baby. ''Quick, pass her over. Makayla's awake'' I was grinning like an idiot. ''Oh, thank God!'' I jogged back to Makayla's room with the baby in my arms. I loved this little girl so much already. She had snuggled right into my chest and looked around nervously. I brought her over to see her mum.
MAKAYLA
I waited nervously for Wade to fetch my daughter. I was waiting for the exhaustion to set in and was scared I would go back to sleep. I really wanted to see my daughter. Wade skidded sideways at the door; he must have run to get her. I smiled at my brilliant man. ''Here you go baby. She’s perfect. She’s been such a good girl, waiting for you to wake up.'' I stroked her perfect cheek, and she buried her head in Wade's chest shyly. “She said he first word a few days ago, didn’t you princess? Can you say Mum?’’ Wade chimed in a singsong voice. “Mum,’’ my daughter said clearly from where she was hiding in Wade's shirt. Oh god, she was so perfect, her voice hurt my heart. Tears spilled over; I was so glad she was safe. I looked at Wade. ‘’Thank you’’ I whispered, ‘’for looking after her.’’ ‘’Baby you know I wouldn’t have it any other way, she’s a perfect princess. We set up a nursery. There isn’t a baby in the world more spoiled or loved, isn’t that right my little Princess?”
Wade stroked her cheek and tickled her, enticing the most beautiful giggles. I stared at Wade in wonder. My hulking dominant man had turned into a marshmallow. “We haven’t been able to ask you her name?’’ ‘’Tom called her Ella, after his mum, I don’t like it. What have you been calling her?’’ Oh god, my voice sounded terrible. I sounded like a man. ‘’We’ve been calling her Princess,’’ Wade shrugged. I felt a warmth spread through me. “I love you’’ I whispered. ‘’I love you too baby, you’ve scared the life out of me.’’ The doctor entered the room. “Makayla, it’s good to see you awake dear.’’ She bustled around me checking my pulse, and my heart, and shining lights into my eyes. ‘’We will need to change some dressings soon, honey. You have several cuts which are all healing very nicely.’’ My heart pounded as I thought back to the memory. Oh god, what had Tom done to me? ‘’How bad, how many?’’ ‘’You have a large cut here,’’ she indicated the inside of my arm which was bandaged. “Right here between your collarbone and throat, that one isn’t too deep. You’re very lucky there, it was millimetres from a major artery. You had a pretty bad one in your lower calf and a very large one on your scalp. Lots of minor cuts and grazes, but the worst was your side here, it perforated your liver. Luckily, we managed to repair everything in surgery, you have had lots of blood transfusions.
We were very worried about your babies, but they are just as strong as their Mum, we will be able to do an ultrasound soon and show you.” ‘’Babies?’’ I thought back to the bits and pieces of conversations I had overheard when I couldn’t open my eyes. Oh god, was I pregnant? Oh god, how many babies?! Wade held my hand, ''Honey we made twins.” Tears leaked down my cheeks, I was overwhelmed. Two babies, with Wade… ‘’Seeing as you have been in a coma for five weeks, and then recovery for two weeks, you will notice quite the difference dear. You are around twelve weeks pregnant, with twins of course. We do have some very serious concerns, given your previous and current injuries. It will be quite a high-risk pregnancy. There’s a chance of your scared areas opening, as they are still less than twelve months old. If you decide to continue this pregnancy, we will have to take each day as it comes. Your fiancée has arranged for you to have the highest level of care. I’ll leave you for a moment dear, so I can arrange that ultrasound.’’ The doctor left.
Wade moved closer to cup my face. “Makayla, are you ok?’’ ‘’I don’t know. Are my scars bad? Oh god we’re pregnant, we’re having babies. Wade, I don’t, we haven’t known each other that long.” ‘’Makayla you’re still perfect, your scars will be tiny, and I love you, regardless. You already agreed to marry me, Makayla. Its sooner than we expected but this is everything I ever wanted baby. Sure, two babies will be harder than one. If you decide to keep them, our children will be loved and happy, and our little princess here will be the best big sister.’’ I looked at Wade and my daughter. ‘’Our princess?’’ Wade looked hurt ‘’Well yeah, I mean, I know I'm not her biological dad but, …I just, I love her almost as much as I love her mum. I've held her every night. At first, it was for you, but after a bit, it was for me. I hoped I could adopt her if you will let me. After the wedding and everything?’’ Tears leaked down my face. ‘’I don’t know what to say, Wade. Oh my god, did I miss our wedding?'' Wade held my hand. ‘’It doesn’t matter, I only care that you are ok.’’ ‘’What else did I miss?’’ Wade shrugged. ‘’Christmas, New Year, I made sure princess had her Christmas. I made it special for her like you would have wanted. We did it all here before you woke up. Just in case.’’ My head was spinning. Id missed so much. I felt pain in my temples and held my hands to my head. ‘’What’s wrong baby?’’ ‘’Just a headache, it’s a lot to take in, Wade.’’ Wade leaned over to push the buzzer. ‘’Just in case baby.’’ I huffed. I couldn’t afford to go back to sleep and miss anymore. A thought crossed my mind. ‘’Why did you say IF we keep the babies?’’
WADE
