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My phone vibrates with a message. My sister made me pay—big time—for not supervising that baby shopping. I don’t care about the money. I would buy her the stars in the sky if it made her happy. My niece or nephew deserves the best there is. I am just not ready to let Audrey go. She’s all I’ve had my whole life and sharing her won’t be easy.
My anger is rooted in sadness and fear. I know that, but I just can’t seem to get over it and be happy for her.
Audrey
Thanks <3 Uncle Spencer.
Her text comes through, and I smile. She is happy. I should be too. I have to try harder to embrace this change. But that doesn’t mean embracing Luna as my new PA. I don’t have enough bourbon in my home to make that work.
TWO
LUNA
“You made a monster by spoiling him. You do everything for the man. Do not do that with this baby. One spoiled brat in the family is enough,” I say to Audrey after Spencer leaves. The man is intolerable on most occasions but especially insufferable when he is forced to leave his home. “He treats you like shit. The man cannot function without you. He’s going to die, you know. Six months will actually kill him.” She laughs, but she also knows I am right.
“He won’t actually die,” she speaks.
“I think he might. How can he be so selfish? And dumb…Isn’t he supposed to be a genius? He should know yelling, stress, and arguing can affect the baby.” They still absorb everything from inside there. He could be causing trauma. “What is wrong with him?” I ask because it still surprises me how one sibling ended up so different from the other.
“This is so cute!” Audrey holds up a tiny snuggle blanket with a face embroidered on it. “I think we need it,” she says, running her hand down her swollen belly. “I don’t know, Luna. My brother was always different. He just isn’t a people person.” That’s an understatement. “Will you really step in and help?” she asks. I only said that to defuse the public fight and save the baby from permanent emotional damage. I am not sure that working for him is a good idea. But my friend is looking at me with doe eyes, all full of hope. Like I am the savior in this situation.
If I say no now, I will let her down. I try not to let Audrey down. She has never once not been there for me. I have needed her more times than she needed me over the past twenty-odd years. How bad could it be?
“Of course,” I say, trying to hide the lie in my voice. “I’d do anything for you.” I would, but this one might be harder than most. Spencer is a lot older than us, he’s weird as all hell and he hates me. “You do know he will fire me, right?” My best friend smiles.
“You are family. He can’t fire family. Besides, if he did, I would kick his ass.” She is filling up a second cart with random baby purchases. “I can’t thank you enough. I was worried he would make me work with the baby strapped to my chest.”
“I wouldn’t put it past him.” I shrug because it sounds just like Spencer. “I am sure I can handle it. I just need to sublet my apartment if I am going to stay on this side of town.” I can’t commute because I know from trying to do anything with Audrey that the man keeps irregular hours. Audrey stayed in his house until a month ago, she bought a brand-new house for her and the baby. Her side of the property was like a separate house. I spent enough time visiting to know it is a step up from my crummy place. “You better leave me with proper instructions and a guide to dealing with the grumpy asshole. Do you drug him when he gets too grumpy to handle? Sleeping pills in his cereal?” I joke and she can’t help laughing.
“He doesn’t eat cereal…too many carbs.” Lord help me. This is going to be a long ass six months. “He follows a strict keto diet.”
“Keto like all the meat and eggs?” I ask her slightly horrified at the idea.
“Yip.” She nods. “He goes through phases.” He better get to his vegan phase fucking fast if I am staying there. “Thank you, Luna. I know you were planning to get back into designing this summer. I will make sure he pays you enough that you can set up your studio afterwards.” She winks. Her brother has more money than should be allowed. He could probably end poverty in some countries. He can afford to pay me, plus danger pay for dealing with his moods.
“It would be nice if I could earn enough to set things up properly,” I say, thinking temporarily working for Spencer might be worth it. “How much does he pay you?” I know it’s rude to ask, but she is my best friend. I know she makes a lot of money, but she is his sister. “Never mind, that’s rude,” I correct myself.
“I get about thirty thousand dollars a month,” she says, without batting an eye.
“Please tell me you are joking,” I comment because that’s ridiculous. She’s a PA. She does his appointments, buys his groceries, and gets his clothes cleaned. “You are his PA.”
“I am also his sister, and he owns the biggest betting and online gambling tech company in the world. He can afford it.” I know he can, but doctors don’t even earn that much. For that amount of money, I understand why she puts up with him and his petty ass. “He’ll pay you more. I’ll make sure.”
“Have you lost your mind?” I ask her because I think she might have the pregnancy brain thing they talk about. “He can’t pay me that much to be his PA. I am already going to live there rent free.” I wouldn’t know what the fuck to do with a paycheck that big. The bank would call to make sure it wasn’t a mistake, that’s for sure.
“Luna, you are doing me a favor. I want you to get paid.” We can have this fight later, but I cannot take that kind of money—from anyone. “We will make sure it’s all sorted before I have the baby.”
“Just so we are very clear, I am doing this for you. Not Spencer. He can suck it. I just want you to have peace when the baby comes. To enjoy the time bonding with your little one without the grumpy uncle driving you bat-shit nuts.”
“He’s just complicated, Luna.” She has this habit of defending him when he’s a giant asshole.
“Well, I plan to uncomplicate his ass for him while you are off. When you do come back, it’ll be a whole new work-life balance.” Audrey raises her eyebrows and chuckles. “You have to stop enabling his bullshit,” I say, while she picks out the most expensive stroller in the entire store.
“I don’t enable him. I just understand him.”
“No one understands your brother. He’s weird,” I remind her. He is not normal at all. “He doesn’t know how to be alone and hates people. See the problem?”
“He likes some people.” She defends him again.
