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“The dog lives in the house. Where else would she be?” I’m ready to go, and Audrey just shrugs. I’m ashamed of myself as I drive off. I have never kept something from her before.
When I get home, Spencer is lying on a lounger by the pool, and the three empty beers beside him lead me to think his meeting wasn’t great. “Hi,” I say, sitting on the lounger beside him.
“What did my sister say when you told her?” He checks his phone like he is waiting for her call or text to come any second.
“I didn’t tell her. I couldn’t.” I admit that our dirty secret is still a secret. “She trusted me to take care of you and give her this time. I have betrayed that trust so badly, and I know she is going to be spitting mad with us. At me. So, I chickened out and said nothing.” Well not nothing, I just didn’t tell her the guy was her brother.
“I hate that we have to hide this from her,” he says, taking a sip of his beer and offering me a cold one. “We had a rule about friends.”
“I know.” I did know that. “What are we going to do?” I ask him because this can’t stay a secret forever.
“I don’t know. Do we tell her and risk her hating us both?” he asks. “Or do we just wait it out until we are divorced and not say anything?” I go silent when he says it, like we are already just over, that once we get that paper, this thing between us will just go away. The feelings I have for him will not just disappear. I can’t shut up.
“You think once we are divorced, we just won’t end up naked or want to have sex like we did this morning?” I ask him, angry. “That this urge to be close to you, to kiss you, will just stop magically because we got a divorce?” Is he that stupid? “Feelings don’t go away, Spencer, and I have very real feelings for you.”
Spencer looks over at me, and I can see the mixture of shock and confusion in his eyes. The man hasn’t a clue about human interaction, of course, he can’t fathom this.
“What sort of feelings?” he asks hesitantly.
“The kind that you don’t switch off like a light switch, Spencer, huge feelings! Attraction like I have never felt in my life and fuck me I am almost sure I love you.” I spill the words out quickly so that I don’t hold myself back from saying them. “When you are not being an asshole, I love you. I love you even when you are an asshole. That will not just go away. I will still want to touch you and be with you. Even if we get a divorce, that is how I feel.” He is very quiet, but he doesn’t take his eyes off me. I stare at him, waiting for him to say something—anything.
“I know,” he replies. “I know it won’t go away. I don’t want it to. I don’t want you to go away, Luna. I have no fucking idea how to do any of this, but I think I love you too. And that scares me, like I thought I might break out in hives over you!” He has a funny way of expressing his emotions, but I didn’t think he had any at all, so it’s a start.
“It scares me too because your world is way different to mine.” I admit that I am just as afraid of this. “You are, well Spencer. I’m Luna. We are so opposite. It’s funny.” He smiles at that, and I love the way his face lights up whenever he does. “What if I drive you crazy and you break my heart?” I ask him.
“What if I am not enough for you and you break mine?” I stop talking. The idea of not being enough is one I struggle with all the time. And here is this man who has everything going for him and he has the same insecurity. “Luna, I am afraid of what this would do to both of us.” His confession is raw and honest. It’s also a reality check because we could destroy each other—and our relationships with Audrey.
“I don’t know how to turn it off.” I want to cry. “A divorce won’t fix feelings. It is just a paper saying that the marriage is over. This isn’t over, it just began.” He closes his eyes, and I wait for the rejection, for the moment he tells me it is over.
“I have never had feelings like this, Luna. Can we just be whatever this is for now? I don’t want to think about things ending.” I can’t think about that, the idea of putting my energy into this without the hope of it being more hurts me.
“I need more than just right now, Spencer,” I tell him. “I can’t do that. I want more. I am looking for the whole package, the husband one.” I want the next part of my life to start, to plan a future with someone. “I need at least the chance of forever.” I have to be honest about that because I won’t be happy without it.
“There is always a chance, Luna,” he says and my heart flutters in my chest—could Spencer be my husband for real? I know I love him, I said IthinkI do, but I do. “I just need a chance to figure out how this works. I have avoided it for a very long time.” Of course, he has. I think he has avoided living his whole adult life.
TWENTY-ONE
SPENCER
Talking about feelings leads to unbelievable sex. Since we spoke by the pool, Luna and I have not been able to keep our hands off one another. She has become the one thing I can’t go without. I don’t even care how out of routine my days get as long as I get to be with her. So many things that bothered me no longer feature in my thoughts.
“What are you doing?” Luna asks me, sauntering into my office with a sexy smile and that hip-swing that makes my dick hard. She knows what I am doing—she put my schedule on the desk this morning after teasing me by doing her yoga routine where I could see her but not touch her.
“Working.” I know that look. She is grinning at me. “But you know that.” Luna steps between me and the desk, blocking the screen. She picks up the printout of my day and hands it to me.
“What is your next appointment?” she asks, and I have a hard time reading it because she is standing between my legs. When I focus on the planner, I see an hour blocked out, and it’s labeled.Sex on the desk. I missed that when I scanned over this list earlier, but I love how she scheduled in time to be with me.
“I can make time for it, I think.” I wink at her and toss the paper down. Luna lifts her butt onto my desk and lets me see she is wearing nothing under her cute shirtdress. I love that she can just be so free. Luna does what makes her happy. Sex on the desk sounds so much better than statistics and graphs.
I push her legs apart and pull my chair closer so I can put my mouth on her. Luna puts her feet on the arms of my chair and leans backwards. When I look up, I can see her face, her moans are loud, but no one is here to listen. The taste of her, and the way she is able to simply relax and do things like this, drives me wild. Luna shoves my face away before she comes, smirks at me, and slides off the desk.
Turning to face away from me, she lifts her dress and bends over my desk. “Spencer, I said sex on the desk.” She looks at me over her shoulder. I waste no time getting up, opening the zipper of my pants, and sliding my hard cock into her tight, wet pussy. Luna grips the edge of the desk to hold herself still and I grab her hips. We don’t have a lot of time, and she feels so fucking good—the devious element of taking time off work to do this drives me absolutely wild.
There’s absolutely nothing else on my mind, all I want is her, and to drive us both to come like this. “Fuck,” I say through gritted teeth trying to hold back. I don’t want to come so fast—but Luna makes that very hard.
“I’m so close, don’t stop.” Luna moans and pushes back against me, as if I wasn’t already close to coming. “Spencer.” The sound of her saying my name as we are both about to come, is sweet bliss.
“Spencer!” That’s not Luna saying my name. “What the fucking, fuck is going on?” I look up and my sister is standing in the doorway, watching me fuck her best friend over my desk. My dick never shriveled up so fast in my whole life as it does now. “Luna, oh my God. I can’t look. Why? What the hell?” She spins around and I pull up my pants and help Luna fix her dress before I start trying to explain the show she just got.
