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“Isn’t that great,” Lance says. “You guys can still go on your adventure for the day. Sienna is perfectly fine, and I have to get to the office.” He checks his watch, and I know he is just trying to get out of this awkward interaction. I wouldn’t mind if he left right away either. This is all so wrong. What is even worse is that I still can’t stop thinking about the kiss, and how much I wish I hadn’t stopped him. I want to do it again, and I am sad that I know we can’t.
“We are meeting up with the boys from downstairs. We’re going to Sea Quest for them to complete one of their assignments, and Nova wants to snorkel with the stingrays.” He gets excited all over again when I mention it, and I know we are going to have an awesome day together.
One of the mom’s in the building has been homeschooling her three sons since kindergarten and was excited for them to have another friend who can hang out with over the vacation time. I have done my best to make his lessons fun, so he still feels like it’s summer vacation.
“And there are otters, Dad,” he says, “We can feed them.” He has been so excited about this, and he and the two boys have become friends. “Do you want to come with us, Dad?” Lance looks up at me and then back at his son.
“I have to work today, but I am sure Sienna will take loads of pictures, and you can tell me about it at dinner tonight,” Lance says.
“I will do that, you can use my phone to video while you do your activities, and we will send them to Dad.” Nova is happy with that and goes back to eating his food.
“I’m going to go,” Lance gets up from the kitchen island and kisses Nova on his head. “Have fun, you two. I will see you for dinner tonight.” I want to go after him, to say something about last night—anything. But I don’t. I need to let it go. He obviously has. Nova goes off to dress himself for the day, and I text the mom from downstairs to confirm our plans for the day.
Sea Quest is an amazing opportunity to teach them about sea life, conservation, and sustainable fishing and even cover some of their biology tasks. It’s also fun, interactive, and outside the building, so they don’t get cabin fever. I was over the moon when she suggested we go with them.
“I’m ready,” Nova says, beaming at me from under his sun hat. “I am so happy you are okay because I was scared that when Dad said you were hurt, you’d say we can’t go.” I smile at him and wonder if he really fell for whatever yarn Lance spun last night. He’s a smart kid. Not much gets past him.
“Nova, I will always do what I say. Unless there’s an actual emergency, or a really big reason. You can trust me to keep my word. If I can’t, I’ll always explain why.” I believe kids should always be able to trust the adults in their lives. I have watched so many little ones get crushed by broken and empty promises. My job is to make sure they know I am consistent and they can rely on me, even when their worlds are a mess around them.
ELEVEN
LANCE
I came to the office to escape and was immediately plunged into meetings. So many moving parts to this expansion and relocation require my attention. I need my head in the game, but instead, it is floating around after Sienna. It’s so bad that I have thought of ways to get around the agency’s rules, and looked for loopholes. I have looked for an exit clause in my nanny contract when I should be working.
“Lance,” someone gets my attention, “What are your thoughts on some of the team staying on remotely?” I have no idea where we are on the meeting agenda, I zoned out. I am not a huge supporter of remote work unless it’s for single parent employees. But I am afraid most of my staff don’t want to move. I fear losing too many will be a bigger issue.
“I think we can look into it on a case-by-case basis. My vision is for everyone on the core staff to move with us. I will consider certain exceptions. This office will be closed, so they will have to commit to twice monthly travel to our new HQ.” This move has been in motion for nearly a year. They have all had time to make plans. Now that it’s getting closer I can see panic spreading fast.
“I will table that to come back to at our next meeting,” Kim says, giving me a look. “Is there anything else from the exec team that you’d like to bring up while you are here, Lance?” I don’t actually want to be here. I want everyone to do their jobs so we can move. I can replace Kim and settle into semi-retirement. That’s what I want. She isn’t going to move, and has an offer from another company here. I would be selfish to stop her from taking it.
“No. I think everyone on this team knows what is expected of them.” I don’t need to babysit my staff, that’s why I chose them. The thought of a whole new team makes me nervous. It takes time to build the trust I have in my staff. Everyone files out of the boardroom, and Kim hangs back.
“Are you okay?” she asks me, a frown wrinkling her forehead.
“I’m fine,” I lie. “Why?”
“Well, you look like hell. Did you sleep last night? Is Nova all right?” She sounds concerned.
“He’s fine, I had a bad night, but it’s nothing.” I sigh. It’s not nothing, it’s Sienna.
“You are a shit liar, can I help with anything?” she offers.
“No, I just need to think about a few things. It’s not work,” I say. “It’s personal.” Kim looks at me, both eyebrows raised. I don’t think I have ever said that in the office —ever.
“Do I need to alert PR that we might have a situation, or is it a different kind of personal situation this time?” she asks, cautious not to overstep.
“It’s complicated, but no. PR shouldn’t need to be called. It’s probably nothing.” I speak.
“The bags under your eyes say it is not nothing.” She’s sassy when she wants to be. “I am here if you need me to order flowers, or jewelry if you fucked up that bad. Just be careful, Lance. You know how it is. Women know who you are and what you have.” She’s been here through a few wild situations, and I know why she’s telling me to be careful. The reason Nova hasn’t had any play dates in a few years. There was a scandalous rumor when he was four, and I have avoided other parents since then.
It was good to see him and the boys from downstairs at the pool yesterday—the pool yesterday started this shit. Sienna in her fucking swimsuit. It’s not like I could avoid seeing her. All of her, and my god, I loved what I saw.
“Can you have someone from legal come see me? I have a contract I want them to look at,” I ask her, and she pauses.
“A personal contract or a work one?” Kim asks.
“It doesn’t matter. I just need one of my very overpaid lawyers to come see me, thanks.” I get annoyed and stalk past her back to my office. Switching my phone back on, I see the texts, pictures, and videos from Sienna of Nova and his friends at Sea Quest.
