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I closed my eyes tightly.Move, Shiloh! Go somewhere else. Stop listening to him and imagining what his face looks like when he’s doing this.
I heard female laughter, and that reminded me that he wasn’t alone.
“Again?” she asked, sounding amused.
“Yeah, just lick it softly until I’m ready to go again,” he replied.
He was getting her to do it twice? Could you do that?
All I knew about sex was what I’d read and watched. I was sure I’d had sex since I had been living with Isaac when I had the accident, but I hadn’t been able to do anything with him once I woke up to this new me. He kissed me once, and I pushed him away. It had felt wrong.
“Like a lollipop,” I heard Gage say. “Ah, yeah, that’s it.”
I was not listening to this anymore. This wasn’t one of my spicy books or some movie. It was real, and as his nurse, I needed to give him privacy. When I turned around to leave, my eyes clashed with Levi’s. He was smirking at me, and I realized he’d caught me. My face felt like it was on fire.
“I, uh, didn’t, um …” I stammered, having no words to make this look better than it was.
He cocked one eyebrow. “You like listening to him get sucked off? He’d probably let you watch if you wanted to.”
I shook my head, horrified. “No. I didn’t—I don’t.”
“If you asked nicely, he’d even use your mouth and send her home. He won’t admit it, but he would.”
My chest felt funny, and I started to rush past him and go down the stairs. Levi’s hand shot out and grabbed my arm. I looked down at it, then up at him.
“You fucked him up. Even if you don’t remember, you did. Be careful,” he said.
I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I nodded. He let my arm go, and I hurried down the stairs, wishing it were time for Uncle Neil to get here. There were too many new things going on with my emotions. I stood at the bottom of the stairs, thankful I couldn’t hear him anymore. I realized I was wringing my hands nervously and forced myself to stop.
“He’s all taken care of now. You can go back in,” the female said as she started down the stairs.
I waited until she was down first. I wasn’t sure I was ready to go face him after hearing him get off. She stopped when she reached the bottom.
“Don’t get any ideas,” she hissed. “You’re not his type. I’m the only woman who knows what he needs. Gage likes it dark and twisted. He knows I can give it to him, just like he is the only one who gives me exactly what I need.”
Even if she expected me to respond to that, I wouldn’t. She clearly knew what she was talking about. I might as well have been a virgin for all I knew about pleasing a regular man. Much less a man like Gage. I stood there for a moment after she was gone before walking back up the stairs. The strange turmoil twisting in my chest needed to calm itself. Slowly walking back up, I mentally chastised myself for letting any of this bother me. There was no reason for me to care.
The bedroom door was open when I reached the top, and Levi came walking out. Wincing, I glanced at Levi. If he had told Gage, then I would have to admit it and apologize. This was what I got for being a pervert and not going back downstairs the moment I’d heard him.
Levi gave me a nod as he passed, and I forced a smile before walking into Gage’s room. He was sitting up with the remote in his hand when I entered. He didn’t look at me. Maybe he didn’t know I’d listened. I went to the chair and sat down, tucking my feet up and under me. I turned to pick up my e-reader.
“How long did you listen?” he asked.
My head snapped up, but he was still looking at the television. He appeared bored.
“Uh, I’m sorry about that. I didn’t know I’d be able to hear,” I said, wishing there were a hole that would swallow me up.
“How long?” he repeated.
“Not long,” I assured him.
He said nothing more as he found some violent movie and proceeded to watch it. The rest of the day went much like that. Huck helped him with the urinal. Trinity brought up food. Levi stopped by to say Ms. Jimmie was coming at seven for his sponge bath. I had no idea who that was, but the fact that it wasn’t Destiny bathing him made me feel better, and that was my issue I had to deal with. By the time I left, I was mentally exhausted from just being ignored.
Wilder had left me a text, telling me his mother had needed him to drive down to Orlando and help her with a broken dishwasher. Relieved that he wouldn’t come over and want to visit when I was not in the mood to talk, I made myself a turkey sandwich. I’d forgotten that I needed to buy more fruit, and I had to dig around in the pantry in hopes of finding some chips. I found one package of microwave popcorn and decided that would work.
Once I had my sandwich, popcorn, and water on the coffee table in front of me, I turned on the television. Not wanting to watchiZombie, I chose a horror film about a doll. That would get my mind off everything else.
Five minutes into the movie, my phone dinged. Tonight, it was in my pocket, and I paused with my sandwich in my hand. Did I look at it? Could it possibly be Wilder? But what if it was Gage? I took a bite of the sandwich, then set it down. As I kept my eyes on the TV screen while I held an internal battle, the phone dinged again. Crap.
