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Present
Five years. It had been five fucking years since I’d woken up with her tucked against me. Even back then, this had been rare. We hadn’t gotten many nights where she could stay with me. I didn’t want to move, although I needed to fucking piss. I stared down at her lying on my chest. When she woke up, she was going to freak out about that. Worried she was hurting me.
Damn, I couldn’t get used to this again. I was walking a line that could ruin me. Giving her the power she had once held over me wasn’t something I could chance. My life was the way I wanted it. Shiloh couldn’t be my kryptonite. Not this time around. I was older. Smarter.
I eased out from under her. It was best I didn’t linger like this. Enjoying her against me. That was something I could taste, but I wasn’t going to indulge. Fucking yeah, I’d get my fill of fucking her. The other stuff I had to be careful with. It would lead to a place neither one of us needed to relive.
Standing up, I glanced back at her, and she’d curled her body into a ball with her hand fisted in my pillow. The shit that did to my chest was a warning. One I had to fucking heed.
Twenty-Six
Shiloh
When my eyes opened, Gage was gone. Even his side of the bed was cool to the touch. As I had suspected last night, he didn’t need me here to take care of him. He had me here for other reasons. The way I felt about him was clear. He made me want things. He stirred emotions in me that were thrilling and, at other times, painful.
After I showered, brushed my teeth, and dressed, I made my way downstairs. When I reached the kitchen, I found him at the table with a cup of coffee and what looked like a fancy cinnamon roll in front of him. He lifted his eyes from the phone in his hand to meet mine.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Good morning,” I replied. I cut my eyes to his breakfast, then back to him. “You made cinnamon rolls?”
“Fuck no,” he said with a crooked grin that made him look harmless. “Trinity made some before she left and put them in the freezer. I just stuck a pan in the oven. Try one. They’re amazing.”
I made my way over to the coffeepot, trying to decide when to bring up the obvious, which was that he did not need a nurse. Filling up my cup, I added creamer and then picked up a cinnamon roll before heading to the table. His attention was back on his phone.
He didn’t look up or speak to me, and I wasn’t sure what to say to him. I chose to eat instead and pretend the silence wasn’t awkward. In truth, after last night and all we’d done, I hadn’t expected the morning to be like this. The fact that I was dealing with disappointment over not waking up with him beside me wasn’t helped by his ignoring me.
I took a drink of the coffee and glanced over at him again. He was texting, so I turned my gaze back to the large windows that looked out into the backyard. Maybe he wanted me to talk first, or was this it? Were we back to being silent strangers?
“Did you sleep good?” he asked me.
I turned back to him as he laid his phone down on the table. He picked up his cup before lifting his gaze to meet mine. Something was different. Very different this morning. This was nothing like the guy I’d been with yesterday. What had changed? Had I caused it?
“Uh, yeah, thanks,” I replied. I couldn’t even ask about his getting around without my help. A lump I hadn’t expected was now in my throat. I dropped my eyes back to the cinnamon roll.
“You’re not going to bring up my ability to get around?” There was amusement in his voice.
I glanced back up at him. “I noticed that.”
He chuckled and took a drink of his coffee.
“I’m trying to understand why I’m here,” I added.
He set the cup down and smirked. “Because I wanted you here.”
Why did he do that? Confuse me with his personality changes?
“Do you still want me here?” I asked. I was beginning to think he’d changed his mind on that.
He nodded his head.
Okay. Well, that wasn’t very convincing.
“Shiloh.” The way he said my name was unfair. It made my body feel as if a hum of energy were buzzing through it.
“Yes?”
“I’m not a morning person,” he said.
