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“I kept tabs on you because you were important to Gage. Even if he thought he hated you. When I heard about your accident, I had you trailed. The moment I was told about the changes you were making—breaking off the engagement, no longer a part of the circle of friends you’d had—I knew it was time I gave you a chance. I contacted Carmichael and set your return in motion. It took six months of watching you, making sure you were mature enough to handle Gage, and, of course, figuring out the best way to put you in front of Gage again. When he chose to act like a fucking idiot and take on a group of men alone with no gun, he made that easy for me. He needed a nurse. You worked for our doctor.
“As for Wilder, he was never supposed to form an attachment to you. He stepped out of bounds when he stood up to Gage, trying to keep him from you. Gage could have killed him. I’d warned Wilder of that before, but he wanted you more, it would seem. He failed at his task in the end. He’s been moved to continue his training back in Georgia, where his father is located.”
I finally managed to find my voice. “Wilder?” I asked, thinking I might possibly be hallucinating from the trauma to my head.
“As for your apartment, the lease has now been terminated. Your things are being packed up and moved here today. Carmichael knows your job there has come to an end. He is aware it’s not safe for you, and having you there will only cause your uncle undue stress. However, if you would like a job, Gage will help you find one that makes you happy within the safety of our properties.”
I shook my head. Processing all this was too much at once. “My apartment lease isn’t up for another seven months.”
Blaise smirked. “That’s no longer the case.”
I knew he was waiting for me to say more, but I was almost afraid to ask. Could I take any more truths right now?
“Uncle Neil knew all of this?” That part was one of the most shocking details to me.
Blaise raised his eyebrows. “Do you really think your uncle, knowing Gage, would choose you to be his nurse? Doreen was the nurse Carmichael had lined up for Gage. When I called him to inform him I wanted you tending to Gage, it was the first time Carmichael had ever told me no. It took me promising him that I would make sure you were safe several times and that you wouldn’t be there long before he agreed. And even then, he was not happy with me.” Blaise was grinning, as if that was amusing to him.
“Why did you want me here if you knew Gage would send me away?”
Blaise chuckled. “Because I knew he just needed to see you once. No matter how much he thought he hated you, I knew he needed to see you one time. The rest would all fall into place.”
He stood then and glanced at the clock on the wall. “They’ll be back soon.”
I stared up at him, trying to decide if he expected me to keep this to myself. Not to tell Gage. If I told Gage, would he do something stupid? Would I be ruining his life again?
Slowly, I stood up. “That’s it? I’m supposed to just take all this and act as if nothing has changed? You want this to be kept a secret?”
Blaise lifted a shoulder. “I can’t make that decision for you. I’ve done enough. If you love him, then you’ll make the right choice.”
I opened my mouth to ask him what the hell that meant when he turned and walked to the door. I thought he’d look back at me, but he opened it, then left me standing there with a mountain of truths that could change everything.
Forty-Two
Shiloh
I stood with my back to the door, looking out the window over the backyard, when Gage walked into the bedroom. It had been three hours since my talk with Blaise. When I had left the office, I had returned to Gage’s bedroom and not left again.
The things Blaise had told me, I had thought about them while replaying my life from the moment I’d opened my eyes in the hospital. Small things I didn’t think too much about, like my uncle Neil calling me to offer me a job when I had been wanting to find a life outside of the one I’d woken up in. The apartment being available the day I’d started looking when everything else in town had been unavailable. Wilder approaching me from the very first day, helping me, being there when I needed something. It had all been too easy, and I’d thought nothing of it.
Gage’s arms came around me, and he held me to his chest. I closed my eyes and sank back against him, needing this more than anything else. When I was with him, I could deal with the rest of the world.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, already sensing my mood.
I still had no idea if I was supposed to tell him or not. Was this a test? If I failed the loyalty test to Blaise, did that mean I would once again be sent away? The idea made me angry. If that was what this family was—loyalty proven by keeping secrets, lying to those you loved—I wanted no part of it.
My heart sank. I wanted Gage, and this was his life. Closing my eyes, I wished I’d never gone down those stairs. That I had never heard the truths Blaise thought I should know. I realized that a part of me was relieved. I hadn’t been some awful person before my accident. It was a weight off my chest I hadn’t even realized was there. Believing that I had the potential to be someone so careless, hateful, shallow, and cruel wasn’t something that gave me the warm fuzzes. It had haunted me. Clung to me like a dark cloud over my head.
Was having that all lifted better than facing this? Telling Gage his best friend had lied to him, sent me away, let him believe I didn’t love him, it would destroy this life he had fought so hard to have. He had a family—one that he wanted, that he would die for—and yet I had a secret that could ruin it for him.
I hated this. The hurt was so deep that it felt unbearable.
Gage took my arms and turned me to face him. He slipped his knuckle under my chin and forced me to meet his gaze. I knew he would see the unshed tears burning my eyes. I could either lie about why I was about to fall apart or tell him the truth. It was a no-win situation. If lying to someone kept them from being hurt, was it okay? Or did it add another layer of pain that would one day cause more destruction than if the truth had just been told to begin with?
“Baby, talk to me.” The concern in his voice made me whimper.
How could I hurt this man? It was making me physically ill. Yet I couldn’tnottell him the truth. I knew if I lied to him, it would eat me alive.
I let out a sob, then burst into tears, unable to hold back the agony inside of me. I wanted to make him happy. I wanted to protect him. To love him. To make up for all he’d been through. Yet I couldn’t do those things because, to do them, I had to lie. And I couldn’t lie to him. It was something I knew I’d never be able to do.
