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We enjoyed our time as newlyweds but after five years, we decided that our family of two was ready to be a family of three. Meredith got pregnant pretty easily, had no major complications, and was an instant natural at being a mother. She radiated pure joy and contentment.
Some of my favorite memories were those two and three a.m. feedings. She’d get Eleanor and come back to our bed and lean against me. We’d both sit there and just stare at our baby girl, gushing over how beautiful she was, who she looked like, how we both never thought love like this existed.
It was bliss… until two months later when Meredith’s postpartum symptoms became strange and unbearable. After several tests, a CT scan revealed a large tumor on one of her ovaries. The biopsy came back as cancerous and unfortunately, it had already spread to her uterus and her other ovary. They did an emergency hysterectomy but it was too late. Within three months she had wasted away to nothing and the doctors had said there was nothing they could do.
One month later, she took her final breath as I held her hand and sobbed.
I grab my phone and wallet and head outside to meet my driver Phil and head to my work event.
“Good evening, Mr. Hayes.”
“Evening, Phil,” I say, ducking into the car as Phil closes the door behind me.
I glance up at the house, seeing the light in Eleanor’s room still on, that image of Miss Silver at my feet dancing in my head, accompanied by her words,Did you only want me for the night?I shake the thoughts away just as quickly as they appear and attempt to make small talk with Phil to distract me.
“How are the kids, Phil? Gerald still pursuing biology at Northwestern?”
I stare out the window on the drive as Phil tells me about Gerald’s first year in college. I do my best to push any filthy ideas about seeing Miss Silver on her knees in front of me out of my head.
I’m forty-two; the last thing I need to do is get involved with a twenty-something-year-old, especially since she’s my nanny.
Even if it’s torturous to have her living in my house.
Even if she stirs a desire in me that’s been dormant for so long.
I refuse to be that cliché.
